Kenney Blog

A New BRAVO!

2011-10-27T03:21:00.000+11:00

Want to see a new musical called "A New Brain"?
umm... thats kinda a weird name.
Yep.

Sydney based independent theatre company SQUABBALOGIC have done it again. Bringing Sydney another serving of off broadway magic that would have otherwise been lost in the dusts of iTunes collections forever.

A New Brain is a triumph. A complete joy to watch. It's pretty to listen to, beautiful to look at, trippy, funny, emotive, and real. Something director Craig Stewart should be immensely proud of. From the small eccentricities of characters in the background to the simplicity and functionality of the set.

Wondering into the hygienically scrubbed linoleum surface- you know you're in for a treat from the get go. Stewart and his team Ash and Salle take the audience on a slick, effortlessly erratic operation of one song writer's struggle with mortality. The beautifully warm and engaging score by composer William Finn contrasts with the harsh subject matters explored of abandonment, death, and depression.

Here, not a single cast member steps out of line. Each an intricate spoke in the relentless performance machine Salle has wheeled up to deliver. Each production number a new and exciting visual treat for the audience. Every scene pops with illumination with these people to blame:

Daley shines as Rhoda, her character hardly leaving the side of protagonist Schwinn and giving it her all with a really perverse ventriloquist act.
Likewise, Daly is fierce as Schwinn's mother, exuding raw emotion, taking almost criminal advantage of the song Throw It Out.
Erickson as Schwinn's partner Roger is simply amazing- baring his soul to the audience, he doesn't miss a beat to get that last tear from you.
James-Moody has to be seen to be believed.
Leahy, as Schwinn, brings a beautiful and fragile arrogance to the role that balances his character perfectly to the ensemble. Tossed and pulled in every direction- he hardly needs to take a step all night.
Murphy is fabulously hilarious and an eyebrow expressionist scene stealer.
Pratt gives it all and a half- belting her narration and staring down the audience.
Saville's characterisation is simply delightful.
Simpson clears the floor with Eating Myself Up Alive.
Sippel gets all the best musical snippets and sings with a delightful joy.

Bring tissues. Visiting hours get pretty emotional. And at times, wickedly funny.

A New Brain is presented by Squabbalogic at the Sidetrack Theatre
from October 26th - November 12th
Tickets are $30-$35 and are General Admission

Tangled in Controversy

2011-01-21T14:10:00.008+11:00

Hokay, appart from Disney's Tangled being a triumphant return to the fairytale, I had two observations:

Numero Uno:

The side kick actively kills the bad guy. Like it's thought out. Mother Gothel is going to fall out the window and rather than try to stop it or even just let it happen, Pascal actively participates by tripping her in the last moments. Pascal is EVIL.

Also, the androgynous chameleon wears a pink dress and it's funny. So, thats weird.

All I'm saying is expect him to go postal in the Direct-To-Disney-DVD sequel.

Numero Duo:

So the whole plot is about Rapunzel inheriting healing powers from a magical sunshine flower and being locked away in a tower until her 18th birthday. Not to be all slapped in the face with subtext but Disney has just released their first fairytale about virginity*.

Flyn Rider, the thief turned unlikely hero with super human good looks gets his chance to "take her flower" at the end. And he does, when she "gives it to him" through her magic tear to save him from death.

Its all very sweet and poetic and symmetrical, but what it really burns down to is a girl giving her flower away. And he repays her with a smothered boob hug. "I've always had a thing for brunettes" lol. Thus:

Anyhew, it just strikes me odd that no one else thought of this.

Also let me point out I cried like a girl even after 3 viewings.

*yeah, I know most fairy tales are about loss of innocence. But this is literal.

For A Better World, I wouldn't continue.

2011-01-06T22:52:00.007+11:00

Tonight I braved a brand new theatrical production to review from Company No 3 theatre at the SBW Stables / Griffin 2011 Season entitled "For A Better World".

'Braved' being the most polite adjective I could use to describe what could only be viewed as some kind of extended HSC Drama group devised performance. Here we have four women and three men all doing their best with material beyond their knowledge.

A stage set with mirrors akin to any seedy gym lined with fluorescent lighting so as to blend in with the local Kings Cross culture, there was plenty of dazzle to distract the audience from the lack of plot and point.

The seven actors plodding half naked around the set, spreading blood, dropping feathers and creating havoc that would give the best of wardrobe and set dressers a heart attack were mildly representing a war time scenario. Each character indulging in either sexual fantasies or memories from the past as each, separately go mad and commit suicide. And don't worry. I really haven't ruined the ending, as author Roland Schimmelpfennig couldn't care less about the narrative mish-mesh of 80's war & science fiction films.

For me, the tour de force of the play was when the female lead shoots herself in the head, dresses herself in a wedding dress (complete with tasteful fairy lights), chanting wildly as a half alien half giant squid attacks one of the male actors (who has meanwhile managed to change into his birthday suit).

The cast are committed to an otherwise confusing piece, even though it calls for them to parade around in white underwear for the majority of the performance. Pity one of the men was so ridiculously prissy that any attempts of sexual interaction with the naked women before him were laughable.

I checked my watch 20 minutes into the 86 minute one-act-performance and tried desperately not to do so for the remainder of the evening.

Lucky I received free tickets on this one eh?

It's reliable. I read it on the internet.

2010-12-31T23:05:00.002+11:00

Meeting mum and nan at Mac Square by 10am was what I set my alarm clock for last night. Seems that Coffee Club coffee is still serving the same quality of coffee they were last time I checked.

I spent some time with the family just walking around David Jones, asking if the massive signs that read 30% off all underwear meant 30% off all underwear. I found my official Davenport Australia Day wife beaters in Big W, and we settled down for a short lunch before melting in the extreme heat that wasn't the internal ice factory air-conditioning that was the Square.

Later, I found shelter in mum's kitchen preparing my tomato pasta dinner. Which doesn't seem more important than long time since-we-were-born, next-door-neighbour buddy Brendan proposing to his now fiancee Morgan. But it never-the-less appeared first in the paragraph. Congratulations guys. You need to talk to Vibrant.

Much later in the day, Mount Annan played host to my new year's evening. With an actual swim in Tuneil's pool. None of this i'm-too-self-conscious-about-my-weight crap to stop me.

Much later, after that, Louise misses her mouth when trying to eat a cup cake. The icing bounces off the cake, ricochets off her forehead and lands neatly on the grass below.

Louise's Brendan did not enjoy The Brady Bunch Movie after the 4-minutes-less-than-last-year's fireworks. I was fairly tired.

Fruit of the Moment: Strawberry Springs

Hang on, sorry. I'm just eating some chocolate.

2010-12-30T23:10:00.003+11:00

I had a craving. And that craving was for Ratatouille. The pixar movie. And not ONE of my many hard-drives had it stored in the depths of their souls. Which, is a crying shame, as I had a craving.

Luckily, Aneesa solved this craving by getting me out of the house and down to the Wollongong CBD. Here we shopped for animal print clothes, grew concerned at inflatable-pool-chairs-in-pizza-boxes, and took our coffees at Lee and Me.

I also bought Ratatouille from Big W, (which I might add) had told myself I would do back when it first came out. I originally found the outlandish $34 dvd prices back in 2007; outlandish. So I told myself I'd eventually buy it when the price dropped. Then I had that year of not buying anything, then I was unemployed. It's all relative. Shut up.

Later, I told the flies inside Leila's kitchen what-not by hanging evil plastic devices of death everywhere for them to play with. Such joy in the mutilation of those annoying little buggers.

Fruit of the Moment: Onion Rings

by the end of your dreams

2010-12-29T20:38:00.003+11:00

After entering a competition designed for women over a modest breakfast, I began facing the music. And the music played "you-better-get-working-on-that-portfolio-for-job-applications"*

After spending hours on the new document, with two less pages and a few additions to the commercial projects, I got me a new bundle of hope to apply with.

In other news, I applied to work at Apple today. Lets see them knock me back there via email in 3 weeks time. I'll keep 'yall posted.

Strangely, the highlight of the day was an episode of QI about cockney slang. I lead an exciting life, says I.

Fruit of the Moment: Beach Weather

*Now available on iTunes

SANTA, IM COMING FOR YOU

2010-12-28T21:48:00.004+11:00

Okay, so while i'm being disinterested in the soft porn horror movie The Human Centipede, I thought i'd update you with my day.

Legend of The Guardians was the first movie to watch.

Followed by Knight and Day.

Then came Repo Men.

Next was Robin Hood.

And Rocket Science.

With Exit through the Gift Shop

I'd say Knight and Day was surprisingly the funnest film of the marathon. While Guardians was definitely the most breathtaking. Don't anyone watch Human Centipede, a vial graphic movie with bad acting and no plot and disturbing content. Exit was, i'd say the best film.

Styx and I just hung out all day. He was really happy with his tuna this evening. Lucky I Googled if cats could drink milk, Leila had left so much of it in the fridge that I thought Styx might like a bit before I threw it out. By the way, cats can't drink cow's milk. They are lactose intolerant. Fact.

Also, good thing I heard the bins being taken out, so thats handled as well. This house sitting business is hard stuff.

Fruit of the Moment: Vegetarian Sprinkles

It just burns, it's nice.

2010-12-27T21:50:00.002+11:00

A tornado of cleaning, tidying and washing spread a devastating trail of happiness through the house I am sitting for the summer. No real scrubbing was involved. But a lack of food I found. So, I gallantly lead a solo expedition to the local Woolworths for supplies.

The Scooby Gang were assembling for some beach fun. However the weather decided to force us into watching Anchorman and Tomorrow When The War Began when a cold snap shook our bones into crying.

This guy was being a snobbish critical bitch during the latter movie. I've taught him well.

Later, I was confused out of my brain when everyone started switching phones and posting on other people's facebook walls. A big thank you to Pammy who straightened it out for me over a phone call from an apparently unbearable 40th birthday celebration... ladedadeda...

Fruit of the Moment: Boxing Day Car Parks

always rushing to be on schedule

2010-12-26T20:47:00.003+11:00

Completely bummed out from the sugar hangover, my morning was a little headachey. Good to see the weather was on my side. From cold winds to sweltering heat to fierce winds- I know someone up there had enjoyed a bit too much egg nog last night.

So I pack up my bag of tricks and head out of town. Eight bags of strings and things and my little blue car was calmly working it's way down to Wollongong. Calmly as in doing a little bit under the speed limit, enraging the other drivers when they couldn't pass.

Styx was elated to see me. And we celebrated that night with Dr Who's Christmas Carol. Bravo Moffat! Bravo! Dreamy Dreamy Matt Smith shall indeed be dreamt about this evening.

Fruit of the Moment: 45-day-old-ice-cream

big girl rings

2010-12-25T23:58:00.000+11:00

When a Muslim strokes a Buddha to celebrate a Christian holiday, you know the true spirit of Christmas is alive and well. Even when starving children in Africa are, according to older generations in the family, rich enough to look after themselves.

Mum put on a breakfast of sweets and treats and cheese and crackers and such. And for the first time in our family history, we did not have volovants nor did we open presents inside the living room. It was new, and different, and lacking in tradition somewhat. But we are in tradition transition and soon, everything will be different.

Louise hosted the luncheon after I jotted around to the Kruyer's house for a pre-xmas-luncheon-visit. Louise put on a marvellous day. And made me a marvellous Catan quilt.

Later, I slept and grew merry on egg nog. Mostly the nog part. Soon, everything will be different.

Fruit of the Moment: Shirtless Rob

MADE OF IRON

2010-12-24T22:50:00.004+11:00

Christmas Eve is a day for cooking. For preparing foods. For working in the kitchen. For making grub. For composing cuisine. And so on. Also, for visiting the coolest person I know while waiting for the bread to rise.

I cooked pretty much from the time I woke up until around 6:30pm when I dished up. And the day was so involved only because of everything being made from scratch. I chose the theme of humbly simple for the three course meal and I think I nailed it, if not everyone's taste.

The pre dinner cheese board included ash brie, red square and New Zealand blue. And a few glasses of egg nog to liven things up.

The entrée was a tomato-less ratatouille, served with oven baked baby roma tomatoes on the side and a crispy onion & goats cheese garnish. Severed with a loaf of herbed bread, which also was made from scratch.

The main meal was a double mushroom pie with thick butter flake pastry and vegetable stock gravy. Served with a helping of boiled green beans.

Finally after a short movie interlude of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, which had interrupted A Very Specky Christmas, we brought out the dessert.

A Christmas Pudding Ice-Cream Bomb with brandied caramel sauce layers and custard butter cream. Which turned out richer than I had imagined. I thought when everything got mixed together, it looked really runny and I feared it wouldn't set in time. But the 12 hours It waited in the freezer did it well.

Shame that through all the preparation and labour and hard work, the magic of Christmas Eve sort of dispersed when my Nana was picked up. And given that the conversation fell pretty much flat on all rounds, and that Dad complained to no end about there not being any meat, and Louise being sick from lunch, and that I was up and down every three shakes of the hand... it wasn't the evening of positivity that it should have been.

I guess i'm in for a lot of this in 2011. As I have painted the town beige with my lack of enthusiasm recently, I'm sure that bitch Karma will be seeing to that anything positive coming my way will be repaid in kind.

Fruit of the Moment: gingerbread house

A park somewhere; in Minto

2010-12-23T23:57:00.001+11:00

This isn't fun anymore. Like this. All this. And by all this I mean my failures. They just keep piling on top of each other, and this duck's back absorbs water like a sponge.

I managed to scrape through the day. There was laundry to keep me pre-occupied along with christmas presents to wrap in pretentious wrapping paper. Also, I once again showed the road to Wollongong how to successfully fall asleep at the wheel while driving without inducing death.

I met up with a friend for dinner at my favourite restaurant Lorenzo's Diner. We apparently scraped in to the last day of their 2010 calendar. Lucky thing too, I haven't graced their doors this year for dinner, so it was a surprise that I was also treated to the meal.

Later, I couldn't keep myself away from the toilet having drunk about 4 flasks of their table water at dinner. I feel I could have sunk a ship with the amount of peeing going on.

Fruit of the Moment: brian's comfort candy

Managing Casual Teachers Who Are Experiencing Difficulties With Their Teaching Performance

2010-12-22T22:13:00.005+11:00

This guy was both stupid enough to leave his phone in my car and not be awake when he said he would be. As he neglected to be awake, the only thing preventing my death from a small dog with serious intimacy issues was a seriously thin pane of glass.*

Given my lack of sleep, it was easy to snooze my way through a 2 hour car trip up to the Blue Mountains with my mum, her sister and my mum's sister's mum (who is also my mum's mum) to visit my mum's sister's mum's brother Rob, whose last name isn't Patterson but boasts more attractiveness anyhew.

My mission to track down an old boss' mobile phone number this evening through proxy failed, so we all forgot our troubles with a big bowl of fake roasted meat. Which turned out to be a major mistake, as are most fake meats.

Fruit of the Moment: Malted New Zealand

*Apologies to Ros who had to answer the door in her pyjamas.

These "twitter" things they do on TV

2010-12-21T23:59:00.001+11:00

After this guy nearly hit a car on a short trip to acquire rolls, I got up to speed with the Jones. Who are very hard to keep up with intellectually it seems. By which, I mean they're pretty smart.

Today Angus (not Clarence) invited me round for picnic, movies, and pizza, which turned out to be brutal as we made a picnic detour in Park Central, pre Mondos visit. And by brutal, I mean awesome. Ruby and Aneesa both turned up fashionably late, both enjoying our time with The Russian.

After educating everyone in the ways of the 1980's cult flick Clue, I enjoyed an old-persons-nap during Shaun Of The Dead.

Later, we picked up Scott Pilgrim, I Love You Man, and Fight Club at the video store. Father Jones made it clear that the Christmas spirit was alive and well, in the form of pizza. And most everyone it seemed had never tried egg nog. Most preferring to drink Mountain Dew, despite its urinal colouring. We only had time to watch I Love You Man.

I now have Sean's phone as it fell out of his pocket and into my car due to his legs being too skinny. We shall later go fishing. By which I mean, we won't.

Fruit of the Moment: Cookies and bubble-wrap!

You're the only gay thing that doesn't suck

2010-12-20T22:06:00.003+11:00

Jolted awake by rose tea infused with vanilla, I jot around preparing a trip down to Wollongong. Shortly after, the wind strong enough to send my Yarris off to Oz, I was headed towards a day of Photoshop tuition.

Glen's new hobby in kite surfing has encouraged him to enter a t-shirt designing competition. So today, we delved into the complicated world of Photoshop Elements. Complicated because the reduced features and limitations complicate the learning process.

Needless to say, he astutely picked up the basics and independently realised his design digitally.

Later, I found that Trade Secret was selling the underwear I designed all the way back in April. The had finally been sold, realised and were proudly on sale at the front of the store. It was amazing. Especially since I had previously thought that they had all been rejected by the buyers. I bought three pairs with a handy GAZAL discount.

Fruit of the Moment: Punishment Pasta

You'd be hard pressed to find a lesbian who likes John Laws

2010-12-19T23:14:00.000+11:00

Sometimes, you really only need one good day to restore your faith in the future. Today was such a day.

I was chauffeured around the greater Sydney region today. Down to Wollongong, up to the Blue Mountains, across to Campbelltown. Basically I was backseat mambo.

Special thanks go to Brendan, Morgan, Justin, Tuneil, Noah, Brendan, Louise, this guy, Aneesa, Emma, Leila and Glen who all turned up at Lee & Me for a birthday brunch of awesomeness. Good times, noodle salad and a whole stack of buttermilk hotcakes. Monopolising the entire downstairs foyer, we ate up a storm.

Afterwards at the shopping complex up the road, Sean and I established that the surf shop stocked neither of our sizes in board shorts. Fucking pretentious 30inch waisted men. We celebrated our lack of spending money by eating lemon meringue tart.

Then, as if my day couldn't get any better, Leila and Glen took me upto the Blue Mountains to see Greg and Pam for Christmas. Mostly to give Pam the panorama we've all put together.

As always with Greg and Pam, there was dinner. A sneaking suspicion tells me that they catered exclusively for me. Post amazing cheese board, we indulged in a (Greek?) variant on ratatouille. Which was beyond amazing. Leila didn't much care for it, but the dessert of chocolate mouse really won her over I suspect.

To pass the time on the way home after several rounds of Bananagrams, we declared our love for the Northern Road in turns. Our love was declared in sarcasm.

Fruit of the Moment: Bakara

... should i refrigerate the money then?

2010-12-18T23:05:00.000+11:00

It's not often that I see or spend time with my grandmother. So last night I suggested we go out, just the two of us for a breakfast or a coffee or something to eat. We ended up at the Campbelltown Art Gallery. Which turned out to be so good that we also had breakfast dessert, which is just like regular dessert but at breakfast time.

Later, we picked up a speaker system for mum at Dick Smith Electronics and moseyed around Campbelltown Mall before having what Donut King called an "ice coffee" but what I called ice-cream in a cup.

When we got home, we prepared for the party that evening by making sure the food was cut and ready for serving. Then the guests started to arrive. It was one of those parties where everyone had partners. Everyone had their husband or their boyfriend with them.

Parties often make me feel anxious about not having a partner. It's like there's another thing in your life you're not good at on display for all the other people who have managed to get it together and perform in the couples olympics.

Not having much Christmas spirit, I disengaged with most of the event, preferring to spar with this guy over a gingerbread tardis and cryptic sentences that made several obscure pop culture references but made little sense.

Even after everyone had gone home, I managed to clean up most of the garbage, wash up and attend to my blog wile the four remaining party animals loudly drank their remaining cups away.

Fruit of the Moment: Sweet Potato Fries

There's something in his ear

2010-12-17T22:52:00.003+11:00

A bathroom scrubbed and a few tables errected, I head into Macarthur Square for some coffee with Tuneil, her sisters and one very awesome five year old supporting a loose tooth. We had coffee. I spilt mine on my shirt. I rule.

Later, I am buying an array of bathroom cleaning products and three muffins for me, mum and Nanny Tess as I anticipated her arrival for the Christmas holidays. However, instead of arriving home to an afternoon tea, I arrive home to an empty cake holder to wash up. Indeed it had been that Maureen, mum and Nanna had eaten the last of my birthday cake. And I am left with three muffins.

So after resolving that next year I could make a birthday cake I would have more than one slice of, I go out to buy 5 chickens, and 2 tins of sliced pineapple with Dad.

I check up on how Pammy Kay and this guy are doing since they no longer are having the world's most awesome Friday night ever. Apparently, they both are doing homework. They are so cool.

Louise having canceled this evening's surprise birthday party yesterday morning as I was not worth spending money on, came over. And we talked about what was wrong and why things are not okay at the moment. Things must have improved, as I felt my appetite return* after a sit down. And we played Bananagrams.

Fruit of the Moment: 150 bags

*No really, I felt so duck feathers** all day

**by that I mean 'down' ***

***joke © Sean O'Gorman 2010

I come from Canadian

2010-12-16T22:55:00.003+11:00

For the first time in my whole life, my sister told me that I wasn't part of her real family.

Truly dejected, I escape to both Devil and TRON: Legacy with a side of The Great American Trailer Park Musical. By myself. I also randomly park next to Tuneil's car in Newtown. She is not in the car.

Fruit of the Moment: Garrett Hedlund

this guy fell asleep on me

2010-12-15T23:27:00.004+11:00

This morning, I was hard pressed to think of anything except that $1400 piece of machinery I was an "ungrateful little shit" over. So, I started researching the interwebz for solutions on how to return the unreturnable note pad.

It came down to being engraved. Had it not been engraved, the return would have been simpler and smoother. My first caller advised that the only way I can return an engraved iPad, is if I buy another iPad of equal or higher value to replace it.

The second caller advised that I could return the engraved iPad, replacing it with a lesser valued iPad and then returning that one at a later date. This plan turned to when-sales-go-bad faster than a tap-dancing hummingbird eats a lemon. Apparently, the "helpful" Chin had lied about this, just in order for me to buy another iPad. A call to his supervisor helped with the cancelation of the 2nd iPad I had bought under false pretences.

A final call to Catrina apparently made some kind of this-customer-wont-go-away-until-we-refund-him statement. And all was settled. Well, financially that is. I feel this is not an easily forgotten statement of mine, regardless if I refuse to accept money in its place or not. Which is shit, in essence. Because emotionally, it is a richer situation.

We had the end of year Seussical rehearsal tonight. No one ate a single banana muffin I had made. Not one. Someone took three of them home. And I ended up eating two. But apart from that, bupkis.

Fruit of the Moment: Code I-Think-We're-Good-Guys-Now

Transaction Failed - Insufficient funds

2010-12-14T23:48:00.000+11:00

Things may be glossy and peachy somewhere else in the world, but not this corner of the kingdom. Not around me turning 27.

I got so many phone calls today. Nanny Tess, Brendan, Dad, Justin, Marion, Tuneil, Noah, Leila and Glen all called me to wish me a happy birthday. Facebook and SMS world were also plentiful.

My day really was no different from yesterday, or the day before.

Did it matter that mum had bought me my first mango of the season yesterday? I wasn't too invested in eating one for breakfast this morning. And I waited 2 hours before eating. Likewise, I didn't feel much like eating come lunchtime. Nor did eating serve me well this evening.

I had debated that it was strange to bake your own birthday cake. Like, anything anyone else did wasn't good enough. However, I managed somehow to be cutting up spongecake and spreading lemon toffee come the afternoon. Milk was a bad choice.

I also made my own dinner. Like, anything anyone else could do wasn't good enough. I'd like to appreciate the fortunate situation that has smiled upon me in the original plan of chicken and salad. Millions of people go days, weeks even without food. But my fortune, class and diet tell me otherwise. It sometimes feels too much to be catered for as a vegetarian.

These uphill battles I set myself are exhausting, expecting to keep finding rewards at the end. Really, I'm just being difficult or moody or angry or self important or pig headed.

For instance, my parents bought me an iPad for my birthday. Thats over one thousand dollars* of investment in a useless device. For an unemployed scum of the earth sponger like myself, I think I hardly deserve such a pointless luxury. There are so many things I need before this pointless gift. Things that I don't want to be handed to me by my parents on my birthday. Things I need to acquire by earning them. Louise is getting it instead as I stupidly opened it in panic.

I'm completely surrounded by darkened clouds in a boarded up room, jobless, homeless and alone. Meanwhile my parents spend a ridiculous amount of money with nothing but good intentions and well meanings on me. Now, the room is filled with guilt and anxiousness. Guilt for the pointlessness with which my parents spent money. Anxiousness for the copious amounts of things they could have spent it on, or I could have spent it on. And here I am, black hearted and unappreciative. Frustration.

I am Ugly. And Selfish. And Not Worth Your Time.

Fruit of the Moment: Those things Brendan made for me

*by my calculations at the online apple store $1,400

This is my funeral t-shirt

2010-12-13T22:58:00.002+11:00

And today's Mundane Hard Working Achievement Of The Hour Award goes to Kenney Ogilvie for not only cleaning his parent's 2nd bathroom, but having the foresight to use sugar soap on the glass and mirrors first to remove grime and scum before getting out the Windex.

Later, I watched Easy A as a means to bask in the glory of my trophy. And it's an impressive dive into teen sarcasm and word play with nostalgic throw backs to the high school teen films of the 1980's. Not to mention shirtless Penn Badgley to sweeten the deal.

Tonight, Seussical rehearsals had us moving around to the opening number once more. Although since it got fast and energetic, the singing was (as always at the beginning of such things) a gigantic effort that left me huffing and sweating. One of the 16 year old smokers in the cast was beside himself, coughing and spluttering all night.

Fruit of the Moment: Betty Crocker's Ready Made Frosting Tub

You've had enough Mondos

2010-12-12T22:50:00.002+11:00

This morning, the troupes were on the move by the time I emerged from my tent. I had secured the chairs the night before so that no frost became of them. As a result, everyone was without a seat for 30 minutes. But soon enough everyone was busy packing away their gear and in talks of heading away.

Being ushered out of the park, as it were, I take Louise and head to the nearby town of Taralga where we find the Lion's Sunday markets.

A dust cloud or two later, we arrive back in the heat; the actual hotness of Campbelltown. And i'm busy washing the dirt and grime off my poor Beybalu. He was sparkling and new by the time we had arranged a picnic dinner with Tuneil and Noah. Other Scooby Gang members such as Justin, this guy and Aneesa were invited. But Justin was at the end of a long weekend, this guy was doing homework*, and Aneesa was working in lay-by.

We had good times and noodle salad in Park Central. Later, Noah kicked Uncle Brendan in the balls** and refused to listen to me when I was scolding him: demanding an apology on behalf of the incapacitated Uncle Brendan. Tuneil, with a mere flicker of an eyelash, had her son appreciating the situation on a scale larger than himself.

Fruit of the Moment: red-eyed-buldging-flies

*when you are working on homework for the 2nd last day of the school year, you deserve a $20,000 University grant. Just sayin'

** HARD

Will my camera melt?

2010-12-11T22:31:00.000+11:00

This morning, as I waited for the sun to creep over the tall trees lining my tent to thaw the bitter cold from the previous night, I read more from Stephen King's Cell.

When I finally emerge thanks to heat, my first encounter was a teenager muttering to himself in gibberish, walking in a circle outside my tent. This freaked the shit outa me. Mostly because 'Cell' was about teenage zombies that mutter to themselves and walk around in circles. It took a few moments to register reality. Thankfully, he wasn't a zombie. He was a mentally retarded kid on holiday with his folks for the weekend. His name was Brendan and he talked to anyone who came within a 20m radius of him. Including myself.

Louise, Brendan and special guest star Chris arrived around midday like I had predicted over a breakfast of blueberry muffins and we promptly struggled with the second larger tent they bought with them.

Such days of worriless relaxation I have not seen in a long time. As we read and talked and Catan-ed and made french toast, I felt like things were once again possible.

Bear Grylls, aka Chris made not only a makeshift fridge in the river, but a roaring fire* to cook our tins of spaghetti. And with a Bananagrams game under our belt, Louise and I were fire dancing to the songs of Glee; much to the amusement (or bemusement) of Brendan, I felt.

Fruit of the Moment: Bedazzled Jumpers

*Brendan, also made the fire

Hang on, I just have to tell the dogs to stay outside

2010-12-10T21:59:00.000+11:00

I wake up real early, maybe it's 5am? I don't know. In anycase, i've slept for an unusually long amount of time. First, I'm angry that I didn't pack for camping last night. Then I remember why I went to bed.

Feeling cheated out of this week's gossip girl, and in a better mood to start the day with, I give the go ahead with the episode and enjoy the awesome gossip girl goodness.

Ultimately, I am awaiting mum getting out of bed. Unresolved arguments have become second-hand nature to us now. Which is unfortunate. I feel that since returning from America, my grasp on standing up for myself has slid back into old patterns of letting small things insidiously wrap their way around my patience until it snaps like an exploding balloon in a Michael Bay film. The point is, i'm letting issues I have with my parents, among others, slide when I shouldn't.

As predicted, mum wakes up before I leave but we barely say two sentences to each other. I would have left much earlier had I of done my washing last night, but sleep it seemed, won me over earlier that anticipated.

Not really knowing who was turning up this weekend for sure, I head across country to Wombeyan Caves. To my knowledge, Glen and Leila were arriving this afternoon, while Louise and Brendan were joining us tomorrow. My phone reception ran out at around 3pm, and since no-one is here, I guess for some reason or other Glen and Leila were deterred. My clue to their absence was a single voice message I received from Glen earlier having doubts about joining.

I arrived to a deserted camping grounds. Ghostly really. It took a few hours before anyone started to arrive and even then, they were all headed to the opposite side of the park. So I get my chair, once the tent was erected and start devouring Stephen King's 'Cell'.

When it got cold, I relocated to my sleeping bag. When it got too dark, I wished I had bought a candle.

It is a bitter cold and restless night.

Fruit of the Moment: Veggie Pastie

You're not going to tell anyone about that weird black woman are you?

2010-12-09T20:36:00.000+11:00

When you get a call from Casual Direct and they ask if you would LIKE to work at a specific school, you know something is up. Usually, they just ask if you are free to work and then place you. But this morning, I was asked if I would like to work at Sarah Redfern Primary on year 6. Not seeing this as much as a problem, I kept calm and carried on.

It was excellent to therefore, have my confidence tested when executive after executive kept wishing me luck with the day. One even when as far as telling me I wouldn't be able to handle it and promptly rearranged my schedule to take a kindergarten class instead.

Not that I'm complaining. I just scored the world's easiest casual day ever. Kindergarten team teaching with 50% of kids away. Yes please.

After work, I managed to travel around Campbelltown on various errands.

Which wore me out something fierce.

I was looking forward to watching Gossip Girl, but a serious row about what I wanted for my birthday* with mum left me in a foul mood. So I watched The Event instead.

And went promptly to bed at 7:40pm for a nap, or what observers would later call a 10 hour rest session. Apologies for everyone who sent me a txt last night.

Fruit of the Moment: Vanilla Malt

*This is why I didn't want anything for my birthday. My ideas are always too complicated or poor in timing or too expensive. If I want complicated, expensive or difficult and you're not prepared, able or in the financial position to do that, then I don't want a substitute. The gesture is insulting.

work was so shifty!!

2010-12-08T23:22:00.002+11:00

I realised as I crashed into the wall this morning that doing nothing all day really takes it toll on you. Of course, it helps cement the metaphor when you literally are hitting a wall with your body.

I am not too sure how this whole holiday season is going to pan out. Mostly because things are really not worth celebrating. Regardless, December plods along.

In taking mum into town for shopping, the day went quicker than usual. Also, having rehearsals for Seussical helped. Heathcote Rd being closed, didn't help however. Especially since I had to drive halfway into the city to turn back.

I once again did practically nothing. But i'm getting to know all the people doing nothing. So it makes time pass in a good way.

Fruit of the Moment: Vanilla Yo Yo

I like a fresh Kenney to lean on

2010-12-07T22:42:00.003+11:00

Work keeps me going.

Today, I had work. Pointless, no brainer work. And it put my spirits higher than they have been for a few days now. Which is super awesome. And so is everything. And soon, I will get paid in moneys.

Had coffee with the girls* this afternoon. No matter how many times we go to Coffee Club, I never seem to recall how awful their food is. The coffee this afternoon was surprisingly decent.

Dad and I put up the rope lighting for next weekend's Christmas shindig. And the silver tinsel. It was nice weather to do it in.

I tried to test the waters on going to Lorenzo's for dinner on my birthday next week. Its shit that it just wont work. Dad and/or Louise just wouldn't make it there from the city. Also, they have to work the next day.

Not to worry, it's not like I wanted anything special or anything. I'm not really deserving of accolade anyway at the moment. Not when compared to this chap.

Fruit of the Moment: guessing potato when it's clearly wrong

* I count Justin and Noah to be honorary girls in this instance.

accentuate the ranga

2010-12-06T22:13:00.002+11:00

I woke up at what felt like 11am, but was really 7am. And today, like the many weeks before it was a desert wasteland of TV watching, resume submitting and tea making.

I'm a few episodes into a really bland TV series called The Event. It's possibly the most mediocre show on television at the moment. But it makes for making my day more interesting.

Seussical rehearsals were also redundant*. We learnt 'Biggest Blame Fool', a song which my character stands silently embarrassed by everyone laughing at him. So I got to watch everyone learn the 5 part harmony and then, go home.

I managed to however post a whole bundle of thingos... letters. AND returned a library book. AND I managed to avoid a car crash when Jen gave me an early mark to go home.

Fruit of the Moment: frypan cake

*for me

Aboriginal for lightning

2010-12-05T22:39:00.003+11:00

I felt so heavy today. Like my brained weighed a lot more than it already did and everything was really dizzy. In the positive, I got to sit down a lot. After a fair few cups of water and a few episodes from season 6 of Weeds, I strode confidently down the beach front for an hour with Glen and Leila.

I'm fearing that people are starting to get sick of me and my latest "I'm so depressed cos I'm broke, unemployed and boyfriend-less" routine. I mean, I listen to myself 24/7 and I'm out of tomatoes to throw. It's a whole other floor of depression that I've descended.

Amongst the rock pools, fish eggs and crabs on the beach front, Glen assured me that I needed not worry about him getting sick of hearing it. Which was good to hear. It's simultaneously awesome and frustrating that the people around me are so supportive. Mostly because they can't really do anything for me besides listen to me whine.

Bottom line, I don't want to start 2011 on the fires of 2010. Id rather be standing on ashes by then.

I drove the 4 hours back home, which was shorter this time around, even after stopping for petrol.

Fruit of the Moment: Buttermilk Pancakes stolen from Angus & Robertson

A Dead Leaper's Underpants

2010-12-04T22:39:00.001+11:00

Glen is rocking back and my fork to mouth project FAILED and i'm hungry and my hickups are back. Wait trying food again

Success!

like this on facebook

Leila got more and we are waiting for more stuff.

I wanted a redskin awhen Gen wanted one.

But she gave my lickorice and glen's face is hot.

I couldn't look away and then I DID its so important that I did. I'm rice. I'm spelling free WRONG.

FREE

thats so funny Kenney fails at alllllllllll things.

Its so funny and I make noises.

Don't take the book....

hen

I'm CALM now.

So Im swirling the cookie in my mouth 50% straterGy it was so good and my head it warm.

I can feel the texture in my mouth of the cooooookie!

Glen samed/

shaved/

SAVED me from my finger in my ear. Im rewarding ME with a cooookie..

nom nom nom

everyones the same as noone.

No it isn't thats not true.

Gen does not know about religeous neibourhoods.

The meaning of life is 42nd street.

time can move and be still.

Genevieve ruined it but she didn't stop time.

The people inside the cookie as I am eating it... insane insanity

Glen is doing the signal dance.

There was five minutes of straight chip eating and Then five more minutes of gay chip eating

Scientific discovery.

peer reviewed

padietry

and feet-lower feet no tickleish

Fruit of the Moment: We were eating uncooked potatoe chips

Jeffrey Snarkbutter

2010-12-03T22:39:00.000+11:00

I don't know were I was going when I woke up, but I knew it was near a beach and it was a house of some kind.

So after watching 2 episodes of The Walking Dead with some interjections from mother talking about the brain and how it works, I thought it was best to get going.

Four hours of driving later, I find Batemans Bay and Genevieve waiting at the door to stroke my shaved head for the first time. Gen, Leila and Glen were to share a weekend away with me at the beach-house.

For pasta supplies, Gen preferred Coles over Woolworths, which was fine before I discovered their lack of sticky date caramel cookies. Gen assured me that the suburb being what it was, I was not to expect too much from even chain stores.

When Leila and Glen arrived later due to an impromptu kite-surf on Glen's behalf, we all enjoyed the pasta. And given the state of everyone 2 hours later, I was sent as the only sober member out for the snacks Gen and I had neglected to acquire earlier.

The dire need of liquorice, coke, lemonade, chocolate, and strawberry sundae life savers was momentarily put on hold when everything was closed down the street. I replaced most of it with dominos pizza, although found a helping hand from the blasé counter bitch when he told me the location of the service station up the road.

Ice-cream and liquorice in hand, I drove the wrong way down main street to pick up the pizza as passers by called me by my apparent new alias: roper stomper.

Everyone was really happy I was back, as I was told they missed me while I was out. This seemed more important somehow than the food I brought back; which everyone ate with pleasure.

Fruit of the Moment: Glum Pie

patoodie?

2010-12-02T23:08:00.002+11:00

Bless my soul. I really love that rock and roll.

I got myself a day of teaching at Justin and Tuneil's school. Which was great for my bank account. But golly gosh, was it a trial and a half. The kids, while not difficult at all were just so childish. The day was more than a little frustrating with kids crying over not being able to tie up their own shoe laces. Really. And these are 9 year olds. Not a kid stayed still for 30 seconds the entire day. It was a little too much really. Not that it wasn't a walk in the park as a casual day, just so god dam tedious with their relentless refusal to act as a class unit.

Highlight of the day is when in the staffroom I told Justin I had something to tell him.*

The lights dim film noir style, he lowers his voice, and Jerry Bruckheimer's it up with a cloak and dagger "is it okay to talk about here?" response. There was even an OTT dramatic score on top of a tracked zoom shot and everything! Or maybe that was the movie in my head.

No more on that. Tonight was christmas tree night. Dad and I put up the tree and there it stays. We haven't put a single decoration on any branch. But it's standing tall and straight. Good enough for me to continue with the abundance of television i've acquired.

Fruit of the Moment: watch battery

*which for the purposes of suspense will remain a MacGuffin

go.photograph an emo. Orgy

2010-12-01T23:26:00.002+11:00

Today I failed at another attempt of controlled eating. I thought I could hold off on eating excessively and it turns out I can't for now. Every time I try this, I seem to fail in even more miserable ways. In anycase, I feel a job is the best way to set me back on routine again.

This is why I applied for the deputy dean of creative arts today at Wollongong University. Which, while ambitious is not a stretch for someone with my background to eventually end up as. Currently, I am certainly not prepared to undertake such a task alone, so the dual position was an encouraging factor in my application. A Generation Y applicant may yet prove fascinating to the employment officer.

I found a whole bunch of television shows I hadn't caught up on and as a result have a fair few more to spend the remainder of my week on. Unfortunately, this means the internet is now capped, however only for one day before a new cycle starts on Friday.

Louise came over tonight to watch The Silence of the Lambs. She didn't really like it.

Fruit of the Moment: Almond Marzipan

Can't leave the room

2010-11-30T23:32:00.003+11:00

I drove around in my tiny blue girly car today, posting and shopping and hurrying home to introduce mum to Scott Pilgrim.

I had a pretty slow moving day. Apart from season 2 of Glee and episode 10 of Gossip Girl's forth season, not much was done. And from this, I have learned that the characters in Glee often stand alone outside a room looking in when it would be dramatic for them to be observing the events. Only this mostly comes off as creepy and stalkerish.

I had a long conversation with mum which didn't end in an argument. Which was refreshing. But it was mostly because we were talking about other people rather than our own lives. I imagined the people we were talking about were standing at the window, unnoticed in the rain. And to them I say stop being creepy and go back to work.

My thoughts are on Tuneil, Justin and Glen and the mountains of reports they are currently swamped by. Along with Sean who seams to be able to express just how equally stressed out students are at this time of year as well.

Fruit of the Moment: Not having children

now I feel a little ashamed

2010-11-29T23:14:00.000+11:00

I found 18 jobs to apply for today. I got through 8 and deleted 4 by the end of the day. I deleted 4 due to them ultimately being highly unsuited to my skills but having "graphic" in the title. And I did this all at my sister's house while waiting for chairs to be picked up.

I was anxious today about someone not replying to a message I sent them. It bugged me that I had bugged them, which is annoying and completely immature of me. I also ignored a post on facebook by Friday's child (loving and giving? Pu-lease) he's not making this easy on himself.

Plus, I watched the second half of Glee's first season. Stupid and bubblegum, it was perfect for a getaway.

I was late for tonight's fourth Seussical rehearsal. But just in time to learn my opening number. Which was taught at a noticeably slower pace than the CD. Along with a syncopated backing piano score, it was extremely difficult to sing the timing I already knew.

My hair is already furry.

Fruit of the Moment: Reheated Toast

Question: Would that be detected by breathalisers if I were driving today?

2010-11-28T23:26:00.003+11:00

Brendan Curtain just turned 21. It's a stated fact.

Today, I got to share some time with the new born after I completely shut down shop from 10-2 by passing out on the floor, and then, later a bed. I slept through Aneesa dropping off a dress and through a thousand flies attacking my face.

The very fine layer of hair sprouting over my scalp is acting like velcro. I was so cold this morning, I needed a beanie. But the beanie wouldn't slide on. It just stuck to whatever part of my head it was pressed against. Took some effort to get on and off, I can tell you.

I finally grew acquainted with Super Meat Boy. And it made me comfortable in my decision to be a vegetarian.

I failed miserably at making Brendan a chocolate cake, but succeeded in refining my volcano-eque exploding cake mixture. Louise's oven is to blame I say. Yes. That's my story and i'm sticking to it, like the burnt mixture currently attached to the heating element.

Tonight we had 2 games of bowling. I was on team TUEN/LOU/NOAH/KENNE... My first game brought me my personal best in bowling. A juicy score of 110. It was super fun to game with Noah who ended up throwing the ball onto the lane, rather than rolling it down a track.

Dinner was served at this Italian place i've only been to once before, at Mac Sqaure, and it was pretty darn awful. The pizza was drenched in oil and the basil pesto "Pasta of the Day" must have been made from a bitter batch of basil because it was so bad. Lucky there was so much food available elsewhere.

I have climbed back into the normal car in order to drive into the new week after my recent trip on the S.S.Insane.

Fruit of the Moment: Gigantic Entree

That's commitment

2010-11-27T23:24:00.001+11:00

Stil feeling anxious, I tried watching Scott Pilgrim to take the edge off.

Not really working, I didn't feel calm enough to leave the house for Brendan's 21st. Although I had time to prepare myself to do so. And this helped enormously.

I did the Cyanide and Happiness for a comic themed party. The result of which I have a very cold head now. I mean, seriously freezing. I feel the need to invest in a beanie. Also, I had make up smeared across my eyes which made me look both crazy and like Uncle Fester.

Brendan's 21st had fun plastered all over it. And by plastered I mean drinking. And by drinking I mean driving my parents home at 2am. And by driving home at 2am I mean cleaning up after the party.

Highlights included iPhone stalking, impromptu Pillowman performance, chillin' with the captains & Tuneil and Howcansheslap?

Fruit of the Moment: What do you want?

Good to get out of your comfort zone

2010-11-26T23:58:00.000+11:00

Dropping my mother off at Mac Square train station, I walked the length of the shopping centre three times in search of some really delicious looking muffins. With muffins in hand and a coffee to wake me from my state of bland awakeness, I could face a day of cleaning out my old room.

I open every door and window, turn on all the fans and open all the blinds in preparation for today's scorcher at Louise's. I begin by editing together the remains of Brendan's 21st video, after having my iPod speaker station explode on me.

From then on, I tore apart the fabrics of my old room. Papers, pens, pictures and pirates... all going into 13 new Woolies bags or the bin. I attacked my closet and drawers. I found a bunch of stuff other peeps would love and at one point actually find time to deliver some items. Which was fun. But the room if far from packed away.

Now, so far the day has been swell. Not amazing, but I was happy. I felt safe. And no one was jumping out of bushes giving me the heebie-jeebies. This all changed tonight when I drove into the city to meet up with a guy I met online for coffee.

To start with, he had me on edge when calling me this afternoon to request I park in his street as "we'll end up at mine anyway". This was clearly not the original plan.

When I get to the city, late thanks to a gridlocked M5, he's with 2 other mates at a pub of some sort. Which is okay-ish, but threw me a little. So they smoke and carry on until 2 more people turn up, and then 2 more people turn up and then two people ring other people complaining they weren't there and suddenly theres a whole gang of people I don't know.

Then the guy doesn't really talk to me. Which was kinda the point of meeting up I thought. Also, there was no coffee.

Then I start to get anxious as we move on. Before I knew it we were in some kind of nightclub with obscenely loud music and dark confined spaces. I can't hear anyone speak and am now getting anxious to the point of not being able to pretend i'm not.

Then, I was trapped. It was panic beyond actually feeling panicked. By the time we left the nightclub and walked for 30 minutes to a high rise club with a "restaurant" on the roof I was loosing my shit on the inside and could do nothing about it.

Of course other people ordered the "table" (a bench with a small ottoman next to it) a whole lot of food. Which all had meat. But I really didn't mind. I felt so out of control, I didn't want to eat or drink or breath. I was scared. And then I started feeling anxious about being so irrationally frightened. Which multiplied everything by 2.

Eventually, I freak out one of the girls by not taking a glass of water she's forcing into my hand. The guy I was meeting originally makes some bullshit excuse that he has to leave and takes me with him.

We're out on the street and I'm cold and hungry, but with no intentions of eating. He offers to take me to this great cafe he knows to have a sit down and calm down. And I can't pin point when he changed his mind but we end up walking all the way back to Newtown to my car.

And the walk had done me well, but I'm still really anxious about the whole night.

In trying to drive home, I am so worked up I need to stop. So I call Justin, who is thankfully home to visit for a breather. And here's the killer. He asked if this stuff happens all the time.

And it does.

Fruit of the Moment: In a coconut

And we all know how gay your iPod is

2010-11-25T23:55:00.006+11:00

Everybody celebrate, for today I found casual employment with a multistage class at Ruse. They have "enjoyed" a casual teacher all week, seeing as though their attractive usual teacher has been suffering from a smite-you-down virus. So, plus points for job. Negative points for not seeing attractive usual teacher (here by known as AUT). The class was quite unsettled due to the lack of regularity, but I soon had then working no sweat.

School was okay. I didn't get a duty. Which was nice. Nicer would have been to talk to AUT.

This evening, Tuneil, her sisters and Noah all treated me to a Mondos dinner, followed by a walk in the park. Noah has so much energy.

Later, I got my Glee on with an auto tune iPhone app Louise had bought before we then went to see a movie about giant vaginas gorging on human brains. It was called SKYLINE. The acting was unforgivable.

Today, I enjoyed having NEWSIES stuck in my head all day. Newsies is a Musical written in the 1980's by Alan Menken, directed and choreographed by High School Musical's Kenny Ortega, and starring Christian Bale. I'd say it doesn't get more epic than that.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Fruit of the Moment: double cookie showdown

Yes, i'm not

2010-11-24T23:24:00.001+11:00

Third rehearsal for Seussical had me standing around doing jack all night save for a few odds and ends in the opening choreography. Interesting to note that I still had a good time. There seems to be a wide age range in the show and the tiny tots are coping really well. I feel very positive about the production.

Stuff that rocked my world today:

The pop in faceboook chat was replaced by the ba-ling chime from the N64 ZELDA pause menu.

Gwaine and Merlin enjoying an all too obvious bromance in season 3 of MERLIN.

Tanya's steamed vegetables.

Stuff that did not rock my world:

Charlie St Cloud

Fruit of the Moment: Caesar Egg

slight romantic interests

2010-11-23T23:21:00.000+11:00

Leila wakes me up via text message at early hour not to be mentioned here. Then she wakes Mum up when she calls the house phone after lunch. And its sharp, shrill siren song pierces the empty house and reverberates off the cold stone floors like a dump tuck exploding in a hailstorm.

Pretty soon after, i'm agitated by the call and the lack of conversation. So i'm taking it out on my mother by being moody and precious when she fetches an extension chord I say I don't want. Pretty soon we're raising voices and i'm running around cleaning up the house. We have a blue. And the same arguments we always stand for, stand up. And I'm done. So we go out for coffee. And just like that we are different people who really can't live together anymore but love each other just the same.

Later, having a rare night with Dad, Mum and I all under one roof for the evening, we eat salad at the table like some Leave It To Beaver tribute.

Fruit of the Moment: Caramel Banana Cheesecake

They never hired me. Took it as a compliment.

2010-11-22T23:28:00.000+11:00

Louise woke me this morning. Via mobile. I feel a trend of family members in a bidding war to keep me from rest. I place bets on Mum tomorrow being the lucky recipient of Mr Grump.

So, heres the thing. I applied for ten whole jobs today. It was a whole lotta jobs. Also, I finished work on a panorama for Leila.

Amongst the job selection was a position at the ABC, which sounded pretty awesome.

I guess I was so motivated to plod forward today after having read the most amazing play last night before bed. John Logan wrote the 2010 Tony award winning Best Play 'RED'. And I read it. Now I want to do it. So I applied to the NEWTOWN THEATRE while watching Stanley Kubrick's THE SHINING.

RED takes the idea of Art; its process and its labour and lays the artist's soul bare for the audience to scrutinise. His actions, his motivations, his faults and his accomplishments. And through it all, you see beauty in simplicity and consideration. Such a powerful read.

This evening was the second rehearsal for Seussical. It was pretty much an extension of rehearsal one, but we actually completed work on OH THE THINGS YOU CAN THINK. I suck real hard at all the difficult harmonies. But I feel I have around 30% of the song down.

We were dismissed early again, and I wondered why I drove in for an 80 minute rehearsal.

Fruit of the Moment: Gingerbread drops.

That better not be your blog title

2010-11-21T23:21:00.002+11:00

Woken by a lawnmower, drumming against my useless skull, I contemplate what i'm not going to eat today.

The contents of my stomach currently would be:

Three cookies

4 slices of pizza

and a scoop of gelato

I don't know whats gotten me so lull in non-hungriness at the moment, but I'm sure it has something to do with my unemployment - which my mother was so helpful in pointing out a mere 20 minutes after her arrival home from the cruise.

I don't want to be unemployed. And I don't want a job I hate. So, I really detest the suggestion that I really should be teaching instead of trying out this graphic design thing. Because a) I was breathing underwater in a classroom and b) everyone I know that hates their job won't leave it to pursue something better.

I feel past my use by date. Just like the soy milk I rescued from almost extinction, I'm turning sour. And I still cant find my christmas cake recipe. I need to loose weight again. And for that I need a physiotherapist, a weekly salary, my own apartment and more self control.

Fruit of the Moment: The Russian

we kinda..kissed..And stuff.

2010-11-20T23:00:00.000+11:00

I slipped into, say, 4 hours of sleep before alertly waking myself at 8am.

Which was kinda funny given that I had nothing to do today besides bum around.

I tried cleaning the study, merely managing to turf a whole load of equipment I never use.

I had me some skype chat with Marion and Justin.

I put together some artwork for the 2010 christmas card list.

But what I found surreal was the lack of eating accomplished today. I got through a shit load of photoshopping without much a second glance at the fridge. Also, I was in dire need for a nap come 4pm.

I tried calling people today to see if they wanted to play, but mostly I got answering machines.

Fruit of the Moment: Pear and Vanilla

Totes devo

2010-11-19T23:06:00.001+11:00

"Is this painful for you?" asks Genevieve 10 minutes into tonight's performance of Urinetown at the ANU Arts Centre in Canberra...

Today I was to drive to our nations capital, catch up with Avatar Alex from Buck's Rock, and see Urinetown with sworn enemy of the musical genre; Genevieve Tait.

First off, I woke up real late. About midday. And I was supposed to leave at 1pm. So there was panicking, ironing and shaving before I raced to the petrol station 20 minutes late. From there, the 263km to Avatar Alex's house was a breeze.

Basically what followed was a dating-Kenney-Ogilvie experience, only we were not on a date, and one of us wasn't gay.

We had coffee and dinner at Milk and Honey which is located at this district called "The Civic". Which is, I was assured by Alex, the place to be on a Friday evening. And followed dinner with more coffee at a cafe across the street. And followed after dinner coffee and cake with a trip to the theatre. This entire experience involved me drinking copious amounts of cafe water, the result of which was not surprisingly, logical. Especially when the subject matter of tonight's performance involved urination. I visited the men's room approximately seven times from the time I left Milk and Honey.

Meeting Gen at the theatre, I was a little hesitant about the performance given her distaste in musicals. Unfortunately, within 30 seconds of Officer Lockstock opening his mouth, I dismissed the entire show as sub-bland, without a sent of humour the script undulates. The timing was appalling, the characterisations were ordinary and the subtle undertones of Brecht were completely dismissed. What I can say is the orchestra were amazing. Not creative or impulsive with any of the music, but beautifully correct. Which is more than I can say for some Sydney based musical theatre. Also, the chorus harmonies were good. Not as good as some other Urinetowns I have seen, but above average none the less. Caldwell was the best performance by far (pictured above with Hope).

Genevieve's review of the evening was "What did you expect for a show in Canberra?".

Disappointed by the underwhelming performance, I drove the three hours home to Sydney.

Fruit of the Moment: Truckstop coffees

Thats what you get for buying an ice-cream truck

2010-11-18T23:59:00.000+11:00

It was with no sleep that I drove my father to the station this morning, only to be woken upon my return, a mere 3 hours later by Leila checking in on the panorama progress.

I was very grumpy at this. And it took me 10 minutes to wake up, and 10 minutes to fix food for breakfast. Then I was less grumpy and able to talk. But I was still sleepy.

The panorama I am doing for Leila is taking up an exuberant amount of time. The file, which is generally larger than 1 gigabyte takes a lot of juice away from my computer. Each modification chews up some hard drive space and makes the computer run slower. So it took a considerable amount of rendering time to get it to where it currently is. And even then, I've had to remake the image three times when the files wont open due to massive file sizes. It needs more work. I shall finnish it soon.

Tonight, I left the panorama behind for a trip into the city with Louise to see Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part One... Gosh. So darn awesome. Harry gets his kit off in several British country side locations and almost every actor spanning across the franchise makes at least a small cameo. I loved it very very very much; and not because Harry takes his kit off all the time. Well, maybe.

Fruit of the Moment: Vegetable pesto pasta thingy

I think that's Horton's line

2010-11-17T23:15:00.004+11:00

Today I designed. And waited in line for Centrelink's paycheque. Well, by waited in line I really mean 'lodged over the internet' but petato/petarto.

Above is an image I did for this chap. He's got a great sense of humour including the cheeky use of the Disneyland-eqsue font for the PIRATE title as a nod to Caribbean.

I also did some work on a cheerleading logo, which I shall endeavour to complete tomorrow.

Tonight was the first Seussical The Musical rehearsal. I was uber excited. Needless to say, I went straight into I-wouldn't-do-that-as-a-director critique mode in the first five minutes of the read through. When I realised what I was doing, I backed off and gave that snobbish behaviour of mine a speaking to. It should not be a problem. As a director, it's so difficult trying to deal with actors who want to oppose what you think is best. I feel I owe it to any director's artistic integrity to seldom disagree with their direction unless I strongly oppose it.

Until of course that time in say, 4 months time when the "traditional" small group of cast members start quietly bitching about how the whole thing's gone to the dogs. I shall endeavour not to join in on the negativity.

Fruit of the Moment: BP snack

Weren't you going out tonight?

2010-11-16T23:22:00.003+11:00

Today I am a boring man.

I drank water and continued to eat like shit and watched Merlin season 2.

I should have done some work on logos and artwork or maybe even looked at finding work. I should have done those things, but it occurred to me that I ran out of motivation to do so like three weeks ago and have been merely pretending to care ever since.

Select highlights of my day include being interrupted in my tv watching by 30-40 minute telephone conversations with people I know. And I wouldn't say interrupted in a pissed off way, but in a legitimate all-I-did-besides-was-watch-tv way.

I have also decided to sever all communications with the Super Secret Project. I believe it is for the best. I'm still trying to decide if I should tell anyone involved or not, as it is a current goal of mine to act more like a 17-year-old*.

Fruit of the Moment: Scott Pilgrim's Hero's Journey

*which, shouldn't be too hard because i'm unemployed, broke and currently living with my parents.

in vietnam waiting to be executed

2010-11-15T23:38:00.002+11:00

Today I feel shitty, like the rain and like the bathroom I scrubbed until it was as slippery as an eel in an oil well.

I awoke from a nightmare. A nightmare about hallucinating at the hands of an occupation I couldn't identity. I would think I was awake, but noticing small inconsistencies would awaken me to a confined room sealed in foam. A small tomb with big brother on its back, complete with sickening sexually perverted machines and the very vices I fear in each corner. In a raging panic, I tore my way through the foam and tape and wood and materials, only to find a hotel room where people I knew waited for me. Each time handing me excuses as to why I was now safe. It was a nightmare and it was not the first time I had endured it.

The day was slow, sluggish and filled with eating crap. I made myself sick and I lay down in pain not having full control over my own actions. I want balance and direction. I clearly have neither.

Fruit of the Moment: Gossip

He may have found God, let's hope he found deodorant

2010-11-14T23:21:00.001+11:00

Ninety-eight-and-three-quarters percent guaranteed!

I remember feeling hopelessness this morning. I remember not having enough sleep and thought it would be easy just to skip my 10am Seussical audition, ditch big bands in the park with Brendan, and stay put in Wollongong (and more importantly, bed).

However, I drove into the city. I tossed and turned over three audition songs, deciding finally on the song I felt best about. My throat however, was a sore muthafuker after not warming it up properly. So I stopped in at the local petrol station and purchased 3L of bottled water.

Not such a great idea to consume before an audition, but whatever. I had a few toilet breaks.

The audition went poorly. Mostly due to the complicated timing in the song; and the pianist, (not having seen it before) had a little trouble playing it which in turn, made me stumble the words. Also the dance audition was a little full on. Also I was given all the wrong readings to practice and had to perform cold reads when everyone else had time to prepare. The audition hall was nightmareishly hot as well.

I then met up with Brendan and Morgan in a random North Sydney park. There, we all sat listening to Big Bands swing their awesomeness on centre stage and watching a crazy woman with a scarf dancing in the middle of a clearing to the more lively numbers such as zoot suit riot.

We went back to Brendan's with Ettia and Isaac post big band musics. I met their bunny and played Scattergories. Shame the 2 tubs of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream they bought on the way home had chocolate in them.

Soon, I get a text from Tanya implying my audition was successful. And in checking the website, I got me the lead role. Of Horton the Elephant. For Seussical the Musical. Boo fucking yeah.

Fruit of the Moment: crabby

Heard you can't climb or get it up

2010-11-13T23:08:00.000+11:00

I've been having trouble resting, recently. Same goes for last night. I woke up tired but couldn't get back to sleep. And I was going to have breakfast at Lee and Me with Gen and Leila at around 11ish, so there was a long wait to eat.

But once there, it was a nice droll of a day. It was distracting in anycase from how upset I was yesterday and how not-willing I am in dealing with it today.

Gen is moving to Canberra. Did you know? I didn't.

We had a roving tour of woman's intimates in Wollongong, hoping to catch glimpses of work I had done while at GAZAL. We mostly found all my basic spot and stripe patterns. And mostly in Trade Secret.

What really got my goat was seeing work I had laboured months over cast away in favour of different designs. People wouldn't think a lot of design goes into a single garment, but when you think about it, everything from care labels to coat hangers are also talked about, designed, criticised, re-designed, cast away, and restarted several times. It was just frustrating to see how shit my work actually looked on the shelf when I knew it would look shit when made with shitty, cheap materials. Or worse, having it all replaced with hideous artwork. And it's frustrating because I tried to design with the end product in mind but was shot for it.

Tonight I started the West Wing with pizza. One disc down. Seven seasons to go.

Fruit of the Moment: petrol reneging

Extemporaneous Speaking

2010-11-12T23:53:00.002+11:00

Lets begin here by contextualising how shit I feel about myself today. And it's pretty shit. More shit than usual in anycase.

Aside from my ordinary day of nothing, where nothing was accomplished, I sat and did nothing.

I felt tired all day. I felt dizzy and sweaty and drained of all energy.

Infact, when I miraculously arrived safely at Leila's house this afternoon to start some film work I was so exhausted that I sat down and cried.

When Leila came home I was talking on the phone so had ceased tears for 10 minutes. But she promptly left and I went promptly back to crying by myself. Glen found me in this state some 40 minutes later.

I just feel so inadequate as a person. Useless and ugly.

Also, I wrote a story about a turtle.

Fruit of the moment: Participle

Hocus Pocus

2010-11-11T21:53:00.003+11:00

Today, I tasted celebrity* like the moist blueberry muffin it is. Working at local school Thomas Acres, I joined pals Justin and Tuneil at their posts. And quite literally. I took Justin's class for 2 hours of RFF during which we sat silently for a minute at the 11th hour.

I have no idea what Remembrance Day is about. All I know is since Kindergarten, I stand still for a minute at 11am on the 11th of November. And there's red flowers involved. Called Poppies.

In any case, this morning when Justin told me to go through what it was all about, I was like err... okay? And made a quick stop at Wikipedia to "thoroughly" research the topic. Then, it was easy to provide a generic overall feel of the ceremony, talking of war and treaties and poetry and symbolism. I feel, just like it went over my head at 11 years old, the same applied here.

I always feel like I never know anything, which is strange because so much of what I know is so unobtainable to others. I feel this way because I pretty much choose to stay ignorant of all current events and politics and fill up on cinema, design and cupcakes. Should I be different? Should I choose to ignore Pop culture and focus on what Julia Gillard is up to? I don't really feel I want to, but is that bad?

In anycase, I fumble through. Intellectually inferior to you all, save for a few minor details which are in some cases even trumped by my close friends. Just sayin'.

I had coffee with Tuneil and Justin after school today. I can't for the life of me remember when it was "just-us-girls" ya know? It was real good just us three (and Noah of course). Afterwards Justin put his blinkers on to race around for a pink shirt, given that tomorrow he was attending a breast cancer event. I was struggling on my own as Noah continued to push his way around me. It took a lot of talking to get an apology out of him after he punched me in the eyes while riding my shoulders. Just sayin'. It just tells me how much I'd screw up raising any child on my own. I'm too soft.

Tonight I visited me mate for his 17th. He got a Mac worth like a gagillion bagillion dollars off his parents. I'm pretty much jealous as all heck. Also, he was wearing tracksuit pants like five times too big for him. You know, the ones that dancers wear when they need to move around a lot? Yeah them. I also suspect they were ironed but didn't inquire (enquire? Whatever).

Fruit of the Moment: Front Loader Washing Powder

*Tuneil had made sure that everyone in the school knew who I was from head to toe. It was a welcoming I never expected.

i actually think everyone in grade is a blindless tawt

2010-11-10T22:22:00.003+11:00

Thinking I had a Centrelink appointment at 10am, I wake up to an alarm at 9:30 only to leap to my diary and realise it is a 4pm appointment. Fark.

Well, that was that. I was up now. I managed to apply for two jobs. Which is great. Both were perfectly suited to me. Although one was a junior position, they were otherwise comfortable gloves.

Aside from entertaining metaphors, I watched the next episode of Gossip Girl! I also went shopping in the middle of the day and against better judgement bought a tub of mango sorbet which tasted healthy and foul.

At Centrelink, it may be my imagination running away with me but I really got the impression that my interviewer (who was checking that I was applying for jobs each week) was flirting with me. He was real nice and friendly and there was a slight twang to the way he asked "is there anything else you'd like to ask me?"at the conclusion of our interview. But you know, things being the way they were I wasn't really at liberty to ask where his favourite coffee place is.

I didn't really feel like going to the Super Secret project this evening either. I felt after last week's work It wasn't worth my time. But after a while, things picked up and I felt better for being there.

Clue number 5 is that I really should stop telling people about the Super Secret project because now, more that double the people from last week know what it is. Also, I can safely report that I do not choose to empathise with strangers.

Fruit of the Moment: Giant Burnt Cookie

google says yes

2010-11-09T23:59:00.000+11:00

Today was one of those days where it would have been better to stay in bed. Halfway through not eating anything for breakfast and answering job applications by sending in wrong cover letters to wrong organisations, I stop.

Soon will mark the time that I began work at GAZAL last year. Soon this will mean I am an unemployed bum leaching off the government and all those around me. Soon I will give into boredom and make a bowl of buttercream frosting to eat by itself. Oh wait, that was today.

Yes, all those things and more can be yours for the one small payment of NOT HAVING ANYTHING TO DO OR LOOK FORWARD TO. So, you finish watching The Blind Side and cry a little bit at the ending. So, you make yourself a pizza for lunch and overcook it so the edges taste burnt because they are. So, Dad asks you to clean the bathroom.

Maureen and I went into the city this evening to watch the extended edition of AVATAR at Imax. It still bugged me that the logo's font was Papyrus. However, pointing this out launched an entirely satisfying conversation about the history of Helvetica.

When the M5 was once again, closed, I had to drive home via Beverly Hills. I almost fell asleep. I was that tired. I still am that tired. Goodnight 'yall.

Fruit of the Moment: Over-Scooped Apple Pie Gelato

James Millar is going to send a letter to Oprah telling her that she's not invited to a dinner party he is going to throw while she's here.

2010-11-08T22:06:00.004+11:00

I woke up this morning with a strong sense of 'this is too early to be awake'. Mum confirmed this. I feel I had gotten a phone call waking me up, but I never picked up. I also feel I may have missed out on some work today, but my phone doesn't say I have a missed call. So I don't know. Moral of the story is to be awake for phone calls in the morning I guess.

So, I decided it was time to complete the artwork you now see above. Pity however that on completing the design, I was told that I had agreed to make it for free. Which is of corse scandalous! I have no time to be doing free work. The confusion came from me agreeing to work without payment until the company recognised the need for an external artist to design their media for them. A fair few impersonal emails later, it was clear I had upset the apple cart by not supplying the high resolution files tonight.

I started the project because I thought it was a challenge worthy of my tackling. The plan was simple. Make awesome artwork. Sell awesome artwork to people who didn't think they needed it. It was a challenge.

In anycase, this was not the case and now I have no case of money. Nuf said.

The window that opened for me in this situation was opened by fellow thespian Tommy Bradson commissioning a poster/flyer combo for his upcoming one man cabaret involving one legged sailors and mermaids. Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief meets RENT meets Mickey Mouse with a gun to his head. Sounds awesome.

Also, in missing a call this afternoon from a guy I'd been procrastinating on facebook all day with, I feel I had missed out on what the teenagers call 'the call of booty'. No matter, he seems like the chap who isn't short of people to call. I shall ask him what he caught tonight, tomorrow.

Fruit of the Moment: Granmanier

and you're gonna do my waxing for me :D

2010-11-07T23:34:00.004+11:00

This morning, after a marathon text effort that cleared this kid out of all his phone credit, we laid plans out for this evenings entertainment of The Social Network at Dumaresq Street Cinema.

It was then that a facebook friend of mine posted a comment about the film, and I gave my two cents worth as a reply. Soon, another chap was also posting and before long I had made a new cyber pal on the social networking site, talking about the social network movie.

Even more surprising was how famous this chap turned out to be. An actor/writer/performer/whatever. Incredible. We talked of iced vovos and how ANZAC cookies are better. Then I made said anzac cookies. Then he went off to work on a comedy someone had commissioned him to write due to his new whimsical mood.

Then I spent the day on reworking that knife and cheese artwork for The Mousetrap. Above is my favourite of the day. Unfortunately, it just didn't appeal to the producer who'd like at least 5 people to buy tickets. After several more reworkings...

... (which looked like demented christmas cards) the producer asked for an old fashioned snow globe with a scary old mansion inside. This is now a task for tomorrow.

Okay so by this time, it was time to get outside of the house and inside of a theatre. So zooming past Ingleburn, we got to the theatre in time for me to watch the awesome film that awaited (and this time on a cinema screen).

Later, Louise and Tuneil met up with us at Mondos for fun times and Russian waiter ogling. Louise had said she was only getting one scoop of gelato. So I got one scoop. Then SHE got two scoops and I was upset that I only had one. Also, Sean wouldn't stop flattening his "frizzy" hair.

Fruit of the Moment: Overnight Teapot

Even monster trucks have these

2010-11-06T20:37:00.002+11:00

You wake up early, having gone to bed in anticipation of a Leura day trip. But in the first 5 minutes of being awake, the anticipation is shot down and rained on by rain.

Mum and Maureen didn't want to take a trip to Leura (if there was rain) and the light downfall had them convinced it was a bad idea.

Louise quickly phoned up Tuneil and grumpy pants Noah to come down to cafe-of-the-season Lee and Me with us instead. And down we travelled for an amazing late breakfast. My long black came out as a double short black and so with the intensity of A THOUSAND SUNS, the breakfast was beyond awesome.

Louise's camera had ran out of batteries, so we were unable to take some happy snaps of the delicious morsels that delighted our table. But rest assured, we were so impressed that we wanted dessert as well. We walked off breakfast browsing the aisles of David Jones before surprising our breakfast waitress for round two.

I was supposed to see The Glass Menagerie in the city tonight, but when home time came from Louise's place I felt super tired and just down right unmotivated. Especially since I had seen a play last night. So I did the exceedingly boring grocery shopping and talked online.

Following a short call I made on Wednesday, I sent a follow up text to that Hunky Guy I met last week. In such text I requested some hanging out, but haven't gotten a reply yet. I'm not sure how much further I can proceed here. Suggestions are welcome for advice in treading lightly.

Fruit of the Moment: Vanilla Nervana

exile in the bathroom

2010-11-05T22:42:00.003+11:00

Feeling cheated out of sleep by my 5:30am alarm, I drove back to Campbelltown from Wollongong, narrowly missing Dad as he drove out of the driveway on his way to work. Quickly getting ready, I had RFF to attend to at the local primary school.

What seriously sucks about casual teaching is being given an assignment like Relief from Face-to-Face teaching (where you have a new class every 40 minutes) but arriving and being told you have the IO (Intellectually Moderate) class instead. I mean, its really annoying. Especially when all your gear for that type of class is at home and you've brought a truck of RFF gear along. Same goes for being given Kindy on the day when you were originally told year 6 over the phone the night before. Also, RFF is my favourite type of casual day.

Oh well, the class was only a little bit shitty. And mainly because I had to do a whole day without stencils. Even then I wasn't fussed by the shittyness.

At one point I overheard one of the boys turn to his mate and loudly whisper "*lol* our teacher's gay!" And it was funny, because it was the only thing he got right all day. It was especially hilarious and ironic however, that he was using the word gay in its negative connotation and not in the context of "By gosh! I recognise that adult as being homosexual".

Tonight, I saw A Dream Play with the final year UOW acting students performing at the PACT theatre (which if blog buddies may remember, was the venue for Lovesong).

Now let me get this out of the way first. It was severely fucked up. Like I mean totally screwed and weird and nonsensical but AWESOME. Also, everyone stripped down to their skimpy black underwear. Thats like 12ish super fit final year acting uni students parading around in the nudie. Kinda cool. Afterwards however, I was told that in comparison the "partial nudity" was tame for a UOW production. Well, shit.

Fruit of the Moment: Tub-would-melt-on-the-way

He's the male Genevieve

2010-11-04T22:26:00.003+11:00

I got that real nice feeling you get when you wake up comfortable from the get go. You know that feeling where you wake up and don't have to wriggle around to make your back better or adjust your shirt or whatnot? This was me. Hells yes.

Minus three points for having to wake up straight away to an alarm.

Had me a meeting with Chloe Madigan, the nutritionist down in Keiraville. We talked about nutrition and such. Later on, she sent me a document containing a "suggested meal plan" It was much like the one I got from my insane diet from February, only it actually contains food. And there seems to be much more of it. And

Today was another write off food wise. Because I've been at home doing shit-all, my boredom has encouraged more eating from sugary things like icing and peanut butter cookies. Thus, it's a bonanza of shite on the menu!

I had a nap with the godson Styx this afternoon on the same lounge chair I read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in. Glen woke me up, and from that point on it rained until I bought this really discussing tasting White Christmas Coles ice-cream. Then it stopped raining. But I had really awful ice-cream to show for it.

Then Leila and I played EX-y Box on the television. We fought some chick with way too much cleavage and two massive demon creatures.

Fruit of the Moment: Pam's Amazing Monte Carlos

It's such a common thing to do

2010-11-03T22:24:00.003+11:00

I woke in a sweat thins morning. Was it because I was dreaming violently? Was it due to heat? These things I know not for sure. But what I do know is that my day was pretty much a write off.

Besides working at watching Eddie Izzard's new stand up show Sexie (which I found a little disappointing at times) and applying for 2 new jobs I had little to celebrate for the fourth round of the Super Secret Project.

The Super Secret Project being of course super secret, not much can be disclosed here. However, things were a little heated today when my opinion wasn't accepted by everyone as a reasonable option to apply to the situation at hand. In turn, forcing me to be forceful and condescending. So, I guess my next clue is that the Super Secret Project involves more than me. Although I doubt anyone involved knows I write this blog.

I hate not being listened to. But then if I dress like a five year old; having shoes without laces and brightly coloured tee-shirts, why should I expect to be treated differently? Fair point Kenney. Fair point.

Tonight, I ducked into Newtown Franklins for a few supplies before driving home. I wanted something to eat, but nothing seemed worth it. Not even something full of preservatives and crap like ice-cream. ¿ʌ_¿ʌ

Fruit of the Moment: White Icing

its kenney fucking ogilvie

2010-11-02T23:34:00.002+11:00

The rain bucketed down, insisting that the world be wetted. Cold, the wind blew a gale as I drove dad to the station this morning. I thought of reasons why to stay away when I got home at 7am, but I just lay in bed waiting for the phone to ring.

I dreamed of the Slender Man. Watching me at night from his post just outside the property fence. He was silhouetted against the red/black night sky along with the blackened spindles of trees twisting together. Waiting for me to think of him. Waiting to take me.

The day was frightfully dull after that. I applied for the remaining jobs on offer and found not many more, but applied for them as well. Busying myself with a vector based project, I worked for hours re-creating an old logo from a [CENSORED]. It turned out pretty darn awesome. I was very happy with it.

This afternoon, I cried my way through Up again. There's something so beautifully poetic about the film. A heightened romantic notion buried in overwhelming sentiment and set to a ripper of a score.

The nation may have stopped for the Melbourne Cup today, but I was too busy re-constucting my art project to notice.

Fruit of the Moment: Use By May 2010

George Clooney likes butterflies?

2010-11-01T21:43:00.002+11:00

This morning I tried the 5 links for Seek job listings I saved to my desktop stickies over a week ago. Apparently, they no longer existed in the either.

So, todays challenge was pushing past the procrastinating long enough to apply for 9 new jobs I found. I made it through 4 applications before getting rid of 2, leaving three for me to do either after this or tomorrow. I'm assuming it will be the later option.

Had me an early dinner with Buck's Rock Emma O'Pub in Chinatown. Originally I had planned to be in the city today, so it wouldn't have been so obtrusive having to drive in for a dinner. In anycase, tables turned and I had to drive in just for dinner. Not that I wouldn't have done so, just the rain and bad traffic were bothersome. And there were ample of both to be bothered by.

We will all pretend that the eggplant thingy I had in Chinatown was the healthiest option. Agreed? In anycase, its good to see Emma back in the country and healthily continuing her extra-curricular pole-dancing classes.

I for one have sleep to attend to.

Fruit of the Moment: His Face All Red

Alpha Male

2010-10-31T19:25:00.003+11:00

Last night, was pretty sleepless on the cold floor of the hostel. I knew it would have made more sense to drive home and drive back into the city. Not that the floor was uncomfortable. The floor was great. The lack of soap and towels and other random things that come with home living were sorely missed, particularly after having traversed half of Newtown in search of a cab the night previous. And using other people for charity was irksome, reminding me of my current lack of employment.

When trying to solve the riddle of what to have for breakfast, the gang galloped into a comic book store. Brendan and Noah became attached at the hip, while Tuneil scoured the shelves for... (perhaps Firefly?) Having a fairly sick Louise on my hands, I pulled her away from the comics, heading towards a nearby cafe where much food was ordered to quench their hangover pains. The rest joined us shortly thereafter and the breakfast feast for 5 totalled around $90.

We headed off from there to Sculptures by the Sea; a collaborative art installation along the Bondi coast walk. It was less than inspiring really. A few quirky pieces but all in all, too crowded, windy, and noisy to be considered a real cultural delight.

I had hoped to visit Manly for the Ben and Jerry's scoop shop. But by the time 2pm came around, it wasn't really on the cards anymore and we settled to visit another time.

It became apparent too late that we had missed out on lunch. So, Tuneil and Louise thought a late Newtown lunch with a possible cameo of No-Show-Justin would be a fine plan to execute. Trouble was, No-Show-Justin remained true to his name. Also, the cafe on Louise's mind had closed their kitchen with only coffee and cake on the menu after 3pm.

Being therefore all tired and grumpy from no food, we all lost interest in having fun. I was looking forward to a cafe for "lunch" because I was feeling a little sick myself and only really wanted something small. Perhaps a cookie. Perhaps a muffin. Louise was however in need of something more substantial to settle her stomach pains.

I suggest Tart Cafe and felt alive enough to walk the 1.5kms to Erskineville. But once again, I prove too egocentric for others who didn't feel up-to the hike. And then, when we got there, they had only JUST stopped food service to tables. Bastards. So across the road was a pizza parlour that intrigued a few people. Sadly, pasta and pizza and potatoes all looked too heavy for me, especially being 4pm and close to dinner. (Also on the way there, I found a tiny 100ml tub of creamy creamy Ben and Jerry's Vanilla ice-cream at a random cafe. Eating that rich cream on an empty stomach made me real queazy.)

Anyway, I ditched my planned Spring Awakening audition in North Sydney, and came home to update mum's iPhone with new software.

Fruit of the Moment: caramelised banana with dusted cinnamon

I just got this guitar a while ago and I don't know what all the switches do yet.

2010-10-30T23:35:00.002+11:00

Imagine light, blinding you at 6am when you're trying to sleep. Imagine me waking up despite all odds and starting to bake cookies, with a glorious mop of bed hair and a fashionable summer-esque Van Heusen night shirt. Then you'll have a pretty good idea of my morning.

Then imagine coffee, in the afternoon sun. Erskineville, dusk and windy with the sun bright enough to give bite but soft enough to tolerate. And a conversation with someone who ultimately reminds you of an ex flatmate with their tone, posture and mannerisms.

Then, if you will, a new band of epic epicness The Wild Frontier with lead drummer Leon. You know, the sexy guy from Lovesong who composed the swanky soundtrack? Yeah, him and his band. It was a pretty sweet gig. Charity venue Curiousworks gave the band a free ride for their launch and what a ride! The Surry Hills based New Yorkish loft apartment overlooking Central Station was completely fabulous. I'm working overtime in developing a new theatrical use for the space.

Last but not least, find a hunky guy amongst the friends of friends in the crowd. He may or may not be flirting with you, so you ask if he digs dudes*. His endearing embarrassment in conformation signals that he's with mates who don't know yet. So, treading lightly you acquire his number to utilise at a later date. (Seriously guys, pretty darn hunky).

I felt like partying on post 2am, but instead fell asleep on the floor of a hostel post 3 cookies in preparation for tomorrow's Sydney morning breakfast.

Fruit of the Moment: Stood up for a nap

*that is, after you text a common friend for a wiki update on the subject, only to find that no one really knows.

You're not the boss of the Kangaroos!

2010-10-29T23:40:00.003+11:00

And today was the combined year 1 / kindergarten class from short attention span hell. Hands on head knew no boundaries. The teacher had left like this intense lesson plan thingy on her desk with no way of following it. Everyone teaches differently. If I went up to you and told you how to do your job for a day you'd be like... 'er.. fuck off Kenney, imabe doing my own thang'.

Tonight was all about the cupcake-bake-a-thon. I picked up rolled oats for cookies I was never going to make and started beating butter and eggs like the filthy whores they are. And pretty soon... all 115 babies were born, iced and topped with Jaffas.

I don't know how I'm getting them into the city tomorrow, but i'll think of something when the fumes from the rum buttercream stop addling my brain. Also, I had two cupcakes. So i'm pretty far gone. Because I'm a light weight when it comes to plonk. I get a hangover from christmas pudding.

Fruit of the Moment: Bum Ruttercream

I read your blog.

2010-10-28T22:30:00.003+11:00

When the highlight of you Kindy experience includes kids coming up to you all day and hugging your leg to say hello, and having to deal with a little boy crying because a girl in the class had told him he was going to marry a girl, you know you have a pretty sweet deal.

I was of course really tired because when I got home last night, I watched Whatever Works and didn't make bed until 11:30pm. So, by the time the afternoon came, the 3pm home bell was welcomed.

Louise picked me up early to jott off to Ingleburn High School's "Platinum" Music Night. We attempted rice paper rolls. But having enjoyed some last night for dinner, these home made variety were a little lack lustre. Good thing I had a stir fry pre-packed to replace it, insulting Louise's cooking while I was at it.

The talent night was pretty decent. I went to watch Sean make a fool of himself singing in front of a live audience. I stayed when he did a great job. A really good job. His brother was also part of several bands. Typical high school muso stuff really- the bland ordinary splattered among the extremely talented. Also, typical high school audience with their obnoxious talking over every performance attitude. *shakes head in pointlessness*

Along the lines of Epic circumstances, I got to meet Angus finally as well. He wasn't the 12 foot robot from space I had expected. Shame. But he was pretty decent. Brendan even drove him home when the Aneesa had forgotten her driver's licence.

I skyped the Sean before bed to arrange future rewards of pancakes. The day is coming. Watch out world.

Fruit of the Moment: Realising pesto contains oil

nanna was right

2010-10-27T22:04:00.002+11:00

Another day of repetition.

See what I did there? It was funny. I hope to think i'm occasionally humorous. But I've come to realise that more often than humorous, I come off as having little to no emotions in favour for being rational.

The simple explanation is that I'm a rational person I guess. Somewhat over rational perhaps, but in broad terms a Black-And-While-Person.

The unfortunate thing is that most of the world sees the greys I can never fathom.

Along with a beige day of kindergarten, I sewed a hole in my pants, washed my mother's hair and continued on with the super secret project. Which is, like most things I do, of more benefit to those I don't know than to people I do.

Fruit of the Moment: Rum Buttercream

Who doesn't like comic sans?

2010-10-26T19:43:00.003+11:00

When a man has got a deadline, its amazing how organised his week can become. Take for instance this week. I have work every day- hard work at that. Kindergarten may be lower end on the content, but the management more than makes up for it. Up! UP! UP!! All day long, just positives and reinforcing ideas and repetition and re-reading and the same instruction over and over again.

In anycase, I had no time this week (expect this afternoon) to meet a friday deadline for some artwork that is now "complete" and above. And the timing frustrated me a great deal because Leila went to see that owl movie tonight and it would have been awesome to have gone too. Alas, instead I had to buy cheese for the photo-shoot and ingredients to fuel the 100 cupcakes i'm preparing come Friday evening for this.

It seems the mastermind of all cunning trickery has coerced me into aiding his weird cult. So soon, they all can enjoy the tasty little cakes while Halloweening it up, Sydney harbour cruise style. Expect an update in a special* Friday-Night-At-Home-Edition of Kenney Blog, coming this Friday.

In any case, I dusted off my camera Arthur and together, we shot cheese like it was a slutty shank of man meat with a knife stuck in it's side. And a few hours later with the aide of a delightful font Lane, the flyer was born. Now to see if the producers like it.

Another early night for Kenney. This could be the start of a beautiful sleeping trend.

Fruit of the Moment: Canadian Bacon

*special? pfft!

Justin Bieber has Cancer in Jail

2010-10-25T19:50:00.002+11:00

To begin the week with a heavy helping of scheduling is a comforting thought. Securing a gig at Ruse for a week, working my way through their entire Kindergarten department has given me a slight boost in funds to say the least and a concrete approach to diet and sleep.

Today was exhausting. By 2pm I just wanted a nap. Maybe it was the prospect of spending so much time this week working in regular working hours. In anycase it has given some stability in what I eat, when I sleep, and how I view time-off.

This afternoon, I had the last in a series of 4 needles starting way back in March? May? It was for Hepatitis B or A or something like that. I don't remember. I just remember the needle sticking into my arm, causing discomfort and dizziness.

I hate needles. They are so jabby jabby. I decided to reward my bravery with 3 episodes of The Big Bang Theory, an episode of The IT Crowd and a can of Wholegrain Vegetable Soup with Barley. And don't let the heart foundation tick of approval fool you... it's really quite tasty. For soup.

Fruit of the Moment: Multiple offerings of Banana Pancakes.

without attracting unwanted comparisons to lady bits

2010-10-24T21:31:00.002+11:00

I called up my decision to not join the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels cast this morning on my way over to Louise's house. Being a little sad about not getting in to either DRS (in the part I auditioned for), or the playwriting festival (or Arcadian's 2011 season, or as a Director at Buck's Rock this year) my sister thought it would be nice day to chill out.

I spent the morning pretty much uselessly watching Tuneil, Brendan and Louise be garderners in the rain while I made myself a cup of tea and watched my mac burn a DVD for dad.

When that had come to a close, Tuneil, my sister and I went to see sexy sexy Ryan Reynolds in Buried. For a film about a guy trapped in a wooden coffin for 90 minutes, it was not only engaging but well shot. The lighting had me marvelling at the DOP's genius. In anycase, it was entertaining enough to warrant a second helping of movie goodness. So, we saw dreamy dreamy Josh Duhamel in Life As We Know It, which stuck pretty much to the formula you would expect from that-kind-of-thing and was better for it. Crying and laughing all the way through was just what the doctor ordered.

The new eating plan looks like it is on the rocks. I made a pizza for dinner tonight because I was craving a piece of carrot cake all day. So it seems I'm not yet eating right for the right reasons. Not that the pizza I made could have been considered unhealthy by a long shot. We'll see how it pans out with a structured five days of Kindergarten ahead of me this week.

Fruit of the Moment: Wet Dog

I never say no to a banana

2010-10-23T22:53:00.003+11:00

Preempting my alarm by 2 minutes this morning was once again an awesome display of skill that nobody saw. I had an hour to get around to Louise's for her garden party. We were to drive upto Tim's Garden Centre at 9am to find all the pretty flowers and trees to plant for today.

Unfortunately when I arrived, not a single mouse was in the house. Save of course, the washing up. So I buried myself in cleaning the dining room and kitchen while I waited for her to come home. Also in setting up all the cupcakes I made, I decided to make additional banana bread with the over ripe bananas from her fruit bowl.

And when the masses arrived for the day of garden labor, I was pretty much done from all the cleaning and cooking and washing etc that I didn't feel like doing much gardening at all. It was just as well too. I am pretty much useless with a shovel.

All day, I marvelled at how may people turned up to turn up the backyard soil.

One low point was director Jay from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels ringing to confirm that I didn't have the part I auditioned for. Which didn't really call for a stop press or anything, but you know. I was asked to be in the ensemble, but am not feeling that anything positive could come of it.

Later, it was great to be rescued by Leila for some coffee and chat before she continued onto the Blue Mountains for the evening.

Later than that, it was great to watch bucket loads of water pour from the sky to cement the gardening.

Later than even that, I found it hilarious that the ratio of straight to gays at my sister's house was 50/50.

Much later than even that, we had Mondos for dinner and didn't get to see Ryan Reynolds in Buried.

And... At-The-End-Of-All-Things, my play was not selected for the Macarthur Playwriting Festival. This is not a good year for theatre. Nor am I going to sleep happy.

Fruit of the Moment: gingersnap crumble gelato

You throw like a woman on drugs

2010-10-22T20:42:00.002+11:00

So I have another day teaching the same charming class at Ruse. Only this time there's grade sport involved and I am thrusted into taking the senior cricket team. Talk about clueless.

I have no idea how or why people play cricket. And here I was spending an hour with foul mouthed 11 year olds, all competing to be the next batter.

Eventually, when the "bowling practice" got lame after 25 minutes, they begged for a game. I was petrified. How was I to settle anything if I had no clue how things worked? Lucky, I cooly collected my thoughts and said the game would run on one condition; that the team captain would be the umpire. Genius.

After school, it pours down in buckets. And I visit Centrelink for the fortnightly reporting thingy.

After Centrelink, came baking cupcakes. I made 24 of the little buggers and they took me the better part of 4 hours. Bake, wash, dry, ice, whip, chop, bake, mix, clean, wipe, wash, repeat... Urgh. You know life is pretty shitty when friday nights are spent baking cupcakes and you're in bed by 9pm.

Fruit of the Moment: Invitation insincere

Like it's literally... I don't know, I don't know. Woteva.

2010-10-21T23:37:00.002+11:00

The sun woke me up at a delightful 6am this morning. And as the warmth of the room slowly seeped into my awakeness, I pleasantly lay in comfort until 6:40am where I got up 20 minutes earlier than I had set my alarm for.

Off to school and to discover I had a morning playground duty. Which I was 5 minutes late for. The staff it seems were having a meeting, so they thought it would be wise placing me on playground. Wish I had known. As a result, I got no photocopying done so the day was spent on improvisation mode.

In the delightful 2/3 class at Ruse, we tore through the following:

Reading 2 chapters of boom! by Mark Haddon.
Playing detective with a Jack and Jill murder mystery.
Appropriating a poem called The Blob by Wes MaGee
Bizz Buzzing through Math
And shouting at over 100 noisy children when they didn't stop for a whistle in fitness.

Also finding time after school to catch up with Tuneil and Noah for a coffee, we celebrated Noah's first day of "Big School" with chocolate milks and banana bread. I of course, had the long black.

Dad complained about not being in the blog for a while after being picked up from the station. So, yeah.

Louise rang me afterwards and we ended up shopping for her Halloween costume before watching the (not surprisingly) disappointing Paranormal Activity 2. We ended up also buying swanky new 1950's style swimmers for Louise at Pretty & Twisted. We also found a dress that no one other than Tuneil could ever wear. She must buy it.

Dad, (or rather what I assume to have been Dad) just made an eerie high pitch sound in his sleep. As his bedroom door is shut, it freaked me out a little. Stupid crappy scary movies making me hear things.

Fruit of the Moment: Raw Egg Drizzle

I'm ok with kissing a guy lol

2010-10-20T22:17:00.003+11:00

When you spend your morning sharing delicious pancakes with Leila at Lee and Me, only to discover upon your return home that they have put out a cattle call for a graphic designer, it kind of gets you excited. Well, excited and scared.

The pancakes were delicious and I spoke with a "Ben" who was happy to take my resume. Fingers crossed!

That dusted, I was clear to accomplish other things today. Like try to fit into new pants that I can no longer fit into because I bought them when I was anorexic and it now makes me sad. I did that. Also, I got really down about my weight rising.

I seemed to be really depressed after coming home from America. And eating like a caveman wasn't helping the matter. So, stopping the diet after three weeks and eating foods out of comfort for the next three temporarily made me feel content with the world. I felt excited about joining in with people when they ordered pizza, and such.

But I look at myself now in the mirror. And I feel so unfulfilled. I don't have delusions of career hopping into a CK modelling agency, but from where I stand I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. And I need some kind of balance. Some kind of happiness within myself that says "if-you-don't-like-this-then-fuck-off-you-superficial-bitch". That would be good.

But I just don't know what to do about it. I resolved today to start up a diet or sorts again. I just can't see the longevity. I am implementing the 80/20 rule of eating overly sensibly for 80% of the time, while eating what I crave 20% of the time. Essentially, It gives me three meals a weeks to live it up. So, I'm trailing it until my birthday which is 2 months away. What can I accomplish If I eat without indulgences bar three meals a week? Lets hope the happiness detailed above.

I also continued the top secret project that nobody knows about due to its secretness. Although, today the muggles really got me real down. It was pretty harsh and I got all moody about it. Clue #2 of the super secret project is that one person I know, knows about it.

Fruit of the Moment: Park bench dinner spot

Faculty of Infomatics

2010-10-19T23:35:00.002+11:00

The inconvenient sun decided not to wake me up at a respectable hour today and left me sleeping until 11am. Which was inconvenient (of course) because I wanted to be down in Wollongong by this time being busy on my swanky new website.

So instead, I left at 12:30 which was 30 minutes after my mother got up. I felt it was significantly difficult spending time with her this morning, particularly after she had decided to stop talking with me yesterday. We said maybe a few words before I left.

Louis had offered to help set up a new website for me, which included using the less than stressful Wordpress website format. I haven't gotten very far, but it looks as if I can handle most of the tricky bits and pieces by just treading through some how-tos on Google.

Mostly it was cool to hang out with Louis in his swankily wallpapered office. We also took a trip to Wollongong University where he was meeting an client of his. Louis makes iPhone applications. Strange as it was to revisit the university of my youth, I was rewarded with a cookie.

Unfortunately after setting up the initial stages of the website, some kind of internet technical link problems occurred and rendered me without the ability to edit anything. For like 2 days! Also, while figuring this out, a flatmate of Louis' came home and I decided I rather pointlessly fancied him and his american drawl. But seeing as though I spot attractive men whom I consider to be straight on a daily basis, I thought nothing of it.

The weird thing about spending time at the uni was seeing so many young people. They were everywhere being all young in their 18-23 year old age brackets. And by the time I left Gwynneville to head off for dinner at Leila's, I had time to spot spunky men out for their evening runs on every corner. Tens of them all running in their taunting We-Have-Stronger-Knees-Than-You ways. Stupid fit guys and their exercising tauntingness.

Breakfast at Lee and Me tomorrow. Huzzah!

Fruit of the moment: Forgotten Vodka Pasta

of-frickin-course they do

2010-10-18T23:22:00.001+11:00

When I woke up this morning, I deliberately turned off my phone at 8am. Having not received a call from casual direct by 8, I somehow rationalised cheating the last 20 minutes I could have been rung for a job today. I celebrated this with a little nap while my phone continued to be silent.

My task today was to apply for more jobs and write down some ideas for this picture book I was musing over yesterday while waiting for Tuneil at Mac Square. Somehow, this turned into watching an episode of Gossip Girl while anxiously waiting to hear back from Rockdale Musical Society in regards to my audition on Saturday (said phone call never happened but rehearsals begin on Nov 22 anyway). It is just annoying how pressing it feels to me.

Later, this turned into watching episodes of The Big Bang Theory. And eventually, this turned into being interrupted while watching The Big Bang Theory when Mum got up and had finished her recreational computer time.

I really don't know my place yet under her roof. At the moment, I'm completely obligated to at any time do whatever I am asked of due to the free rent situation. And this has really bugged me since I got back from America. Things like cleaning and moving furniture around and other can-you-help-me-with-this-now moments (which I am happy to do, but feel obligated into at the same time).

So, today when Mum once again asked what job I would get if this "Graphic Design Thing" doesn't work out, I harshly told her I would be jobless until I had the job I wanted. This of course raised how I can't live forever with a free ride (rent and bill free) for "much longer". And after a heated argument, I was told to have a job by Christmas or look for different work.

Which is (by the way) completely un-fucking-acceptable.

So, the alternate was to start paying a third of the bills and rent after this Christmas Deadline. Which, if it comes to that, I'll just move out over because it would be $50-$100 more to live independently and who wouldn't find that more worth while?

In anycase, this translated to "I-Don't-Love-You-Mother". Which is utter tripe.

I was then (rightly) criticised for watching The Big Bang theory all day in place of looking for a decent job. So I made it clear that I make my own decisions about what I do and when, including what career I chose to have regardless of whatever degree I was pushed into. Mum, emotionally hurt couldn't take looking at me any more. So, she stopped speaking to me mid sentence and left the room.

I tried to make pancakes for dinner but it was a fucking disaster. My fault for being so blunt with my Mother I suppose. Curse you kitchen gods.

Fruit of the Moment: Sandwich smell

God dam it people, let's do something... Let's look at televisions

2010-10-17T23:32:00.000+11:00

Sometimes, it's really difficult to blog about your emotional state. The lines of who and what to talk about are blurred when people involved may end up reading about it. And that's never a fun picnic. But it sometimes leaves me with a lot to say without being able to responsibly publish it.

Today is not such a day, but I have been recently dwelling on issues unable to report to you all. Whoever you may be.

This "morning" at 11am, I leaped out of bed to stop my phone from continuing its loud noise making and really strained my neck. It was, my mother ringing. Later at 2pm I rang back to see if anything was urgent, only to discover the call was just a 'hi; how are you' sort of call.

My neck continued to be strained (up until now actually) as I tagged along with Leila and Glen in their quest of nesting. It seems, when you have a house you also like to make things (like the garden) super fantastically awesome.

Met up with Tuneil and Noah for Sushi Train dinner, which should have been my full dinner. But when we met up with my sister and her Brendan at Mondos for dessert, she ordered a pizza for her dinner and I had 3 slices. Along with a 2 scoop gelato bowl.

It's always great to hang out with Noah. He's a really charming 5 year old. Enough monkey to be spunky and enough manners to be controlled. He was just as charming this evening too. Especially when hero Uncle Brendan turned up.

Louise and I went to see LET ME IN tonight at the cinema. It was so good. It was delicious cinema. It was 'discuss the themes of evil' for year 11 English good.

Fruit of the Moment: Detergent in a fountain

It's for my penis reduction surgery

2010-10-16T23:43:00.000+11:00

I get up at like what? 6am this morning just to work up levels of nervousness not yet thought up by mankind in preparation for my Dirty Rotten Scoundrels audition at 9am. To distract myself I brewed a shit load of tea and made Anzac cookies. I guessed the committee members sitting outside the audition room could use a few snacky snacks during their long day of waiting.

Anyhew, I drive to Rockdale with a new singalong mix tape of the two songs I was auditioning with, plus an interlude of a Dirty Rotten Scoundrels song to give my voice a 4 minute rest between songs. It worked well, and I got the songs pretty much down.

Then the audition with its short shortness, my bland okay singing and the lack of needing two songs in the first place. It was okay though. Jay, the director got me to read like half a script for the character, and then got me to continue with the rest of the scene without direction or change. Must have meant there was something okay. Dancing was a little girly. But I was the only dude in a group of eight. Go testosterone!

The best I can legitimately hope for at the moment is a callback. What I am expecting after a really enthusiastic "Thanks for coming in Ken" is a lack of success in obtaining the part.

So, that done and the wind blowing a mighty vengeance against the world, I visit Leila for a Lee and Me luncheon. Glen tagged along, but he left as we continued onto such amazingly interesting shopping locales as bead shops and such.

This evening after much browsing for new televisions, we joined forces with Jonathan and his wife Naomi for CATAN NIGHT 2010; including Thai approved by Leila and ice-cream selected by myself.

I won the Catan game. Mostly because everyone was focused on the IT crowd.

Fruit of the Moment: French Earl Grey

let me fight my gag reflex first

2010-10-15T20:27:00.002+11:00

An excerpt from my cover letter dated October 15th, 2010:

"This opportunity would provide a challenging and satisfying work environment, combining my skills across several career paths. I am a dedicated hard worker with a keen eye for detail and a passion for colour theory. I am familiar with the pre-press process, and have worked on all facets of design from conception, photography through to print or distribution. Not to mention being an avid fan of the Nigella Lawson series. With my education and experience, I feel I can make a valuable contribution to your publishing firm."

Fairly satisfying to submit my first few resumes of the job hunting season. Especially when it's for jobs I'm actually excited about.

For the rest of the day however, I made sure I was watching videos of Josh Thomas on Youtube.

Tomorrow, I have an audition for Rockdale Musical Society's Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Since seeing the show in America last year, I've been a big fan. Hence, I'm more than nervous about the success of tomorrow's audition. The odds are definitely against my favour.

I'm never good at auditions. I get all jittery and spluttery and usually screw up lyrics. Opening night? I'm cool as a cucumber. Speaking in front of a group of people? Nerves of steel. But put me at the mercy of three smiling people there to judge if they can work with you for three months in rehearsals to resemble something not unsimilar to the character you audition for and... I crumble. Plus, you give your music to a poor piano player who's a) never heard of the song before and b) forced to sight read on the spot. It just makes you more nervous when the timing is not what you have in your head.

Enter the other reasons why tomorrow will be nerve-wracking...

1.There are other talented people audition. People I would cast in the role I want if I were directing.

2. The MD (musical director) reminds me that I sing off key. This sprawls back to CATS rehearsals when I sang the wrong harmony. Loudly. Since, he hasn't let me forget it. I can never tell if he's just fucking with me or really believes it.

3. Mix this in with knowing half the casting committee and you have sad pandas in your stomach.

So, I'll be psyching up in the car tomorrow morning driving to Wollongong. Lets see how many words I'll forget this time eh? I will be channeling a very talented actor by the name of Matt Smith tomorrow. Hopefully, this will help me focus the character of FREDDY more.

Fingers crossed. I WANT THIS. lol.

Fruit of the Moment: Dim Sim

Hang in there, we'll be with you really soon.

2010-10-14T20:59:00.005+11:00

I had a few more pages of work to get through this morning. The play was shaping up nicely and the characters were coming together.

The trouble was I was writing myself into introducing a 6th character on the last page if I continued the trend of the narrative. Luckily, my 3rd grade teacher had in her wisdom invented editing. With some last minute adjustments, I had me a published work. And with no parallels to certain vampire teen dramas I entitled the play "Phawkes" (with an alternate title of "Leila II").

Roomie Rob helped out on facebook chat this morning with the line "I basically know you better than you know yourself". It's always great to speak with my ex Buck's Rock roomie. He's such a shameless flirt that I always feel good about myself while talking to him. In anycase, the line he provided negated the need for a 6th character. So yeah, awesome.

I had been instructed to motivate Mum into clean mode at 10am sharp, when in fact I left to post the play at 10am sharp. Actually, I also had to go into Centrelink to print the darn thing as well. Seeing it jet out of the printer was a satisfying feeling. I had a small twinge of fear handing it over to the post office not 10 minutes later to await it's journey to the judges' table. Mostly because I want it to be selected. Last year, my submission to the same competition wasn't as nerve-wracking for some reason.

The day dissolved quickly from creative tasks to domestic housework. There was dust and grime to be swept, sheets and towels to be washed (OMFG! The towels are still in the washing machine) and floors to be vacuumed. That by the end of it, my legs were telling me I needed sleep.

Not to be outdone, I baked the world's biggest ANZAC cookies (bigger than my fist) and encored preparing pizza for three. There was very little in the house leaning towards the definition of cheese, so I had to make do with 3 slices of Coon, a third of a packet of shaved parmesan and a tiny portion of tasty cheese.

Fruit of the Moment: Hyperbole

Your smile is captivating

2010-10-13T23:33:00.003+11:00

Waking up this morning with my two CODAPANE FORTE tablets made my day super dooper cruisy. I was pain free and a little shy of an aching neck. Also, an evening trip into Nurofen land was also helpful.

What was MOST important is that I could drive again. And to celebrate, I went to see Dr Philip for a follow up from yesterday's trip to the hospital. According to him, this neck muscle spasm thingo happens all the time. Ever twisted the wrong way and had a sore neck for like three-ish days? Well, that's what happened to me. Only it was really painful.

Good news is that this sort of thing, if repeated can be treated instantly with acupuncture. But it was a very good sign that I "recovered" in a day. If by "recovered" you mean being doped out by drugs and passing out in a hospital for three hours, then lets celebrate with a glass of OJ.

I also started a top secret project today. It's pretty top secret in its secrecy. So you're not allowed to know about it and I'm not allowed to tell you about it. But I will say I was advised not to tell you anything about it. So there. Enjoy whatever you got out of that for now.

I also was scheduled to finish my short play to submit to the Macarthur Playwriting Festival. But with all the dramatic doctors visits and secret projects and buying of groceries, I only had time to ALL BUT finish off the script.

It's coming along very nicely. All the characters are exactly where they need to be. Which actually worked out better than I had anticipated. I've got about 2 pages more to write and then I've got editing to iron out all the kinks. Should be fun for tomorrow.

Also, I'm starting to think about life and what it means. Why I hate Sydney and still live here. Why I never stand still for two seconds. Am I trying to subconsciously avoid growing up? Gee, I hope not. I need to start accepting responsibility in order to find a full time job, and a kitchen with my name engraved on its stone bench top.

Fruit of the Moment: Diggers

d'awwwwwww :3

2010-10-12T20:21:00.000+11:00

Okay, two things happened today.

Both intense, both dramatic.

First off, before getting ready for school, I got chatting online to a camper from Buck's Rock. America's timezones are super different to Australia's, so it would have been about 9pmish for him. Anyway, it turns out that recently he came out to his parents.

WOAH. Thats pretty darn extraordinary. I mean, I didn't know who I was at 16. It's an amazing thing for a young guy to be in a safe and confident enough place to be in the position where he feels the end of the world will not occur when he comes out of the closet.

Cos thats what it felt like for me. It took me over a year to tell everyone I knew. I didn't even figure it out until I was like 23 and even then it took me a month to tell Leila. When ever I would tell someone new it was like they suddenly were going to throw me to the wolves, or suddenly find me repulsive or worse hate me.

In anycase my point is, it's great that somewhere, out in that big world are teenagers who feel brave enough to admit to themselves and their family who they actually are.

Secondly, (and the tablets are starting to take effect so I'll be brief) I went to hospital.

It was 8am and I had developed some pain in my neck after a particularly hot shower. Getting dressed was a little painful, but I was used to daily aches and pains. You know how you would walk for 30kms the day before or do some weights and have sore legs or joints all day? That's generally what my body does all the time. So its natural for me to be working all day with a sore back or sore legs or sore arms.

I remember when I had a year 5 class in 2006, my personal trainer at the time had me really working my arms. And telling the kids the next day I had sore arms would result in many friendly jabs and slaps. They found this hilarious. Hah. Hilarious. I really do miss that class.

In anycase, putting on my jumper before heading out the door was like a thunderbolt awakening inside of me. In just a simpel action of raising my hands above my head followed with neck pain so excruciating, that freezing was unbearable and moving made it worse.

Panicing, I truly thought one wrong move would result in losing the ability to walk. It took me all my energy to slowly shuffle over to mum's door, a mere 10 meters from where I stood and talk to her while hunched over in a frozen curved shape.

2o minutes later I was in a car feeling every jolt and brake on the way to Camden hospital. Mum of course played doctor and was listing my medical history, which she felt compelled to repeat to several nurses and doctors. We got into a bed fairly quickly after checking in and within moments I had swallowed a cup of pills, received a surprise injection and collapsed after feeling a sudden cold chill pass through my entire body and passed out until midday.

Louise, my sister it seems was also sick from work today and came around to visit when Mum had brought me home. Even Maureen and Veronica came around. Everyone in the family was calling up and asking about me. My grandmother had told everyone it seemed, and It really made me feel I mattered when Mum's phone kept ringing off the hook to see if I was okay.

Since then and a lot of rest, the drugs have numbed the pain to being sore. And in the evening, when mum made me pumpkin, asparagus and mushroom pie the soreness had turned into a stiffness through sitting in the same chair for pretty much the whole day. Although it was still sore to move.

I hope tomorrow I'm able to drive into town.

Fruit of the Moment: Ice Cream Party

On the weekend, I went to the park and my brother went to jail.

2010-10-11T22:50:00.004+11:00

Back to school with the rest of NSW and I find myself with a few more days of Kindergarten to administer. Yay paycheck.

Seriously, I had the cutest bunch of 5 year olds this side of the Bridge. Not that they weren't a handful, just adorable while they were at it. I can tell you my energy levels just went from on to off when 4pm came.

What currently frustrates me is the urgency of applying for new jobs vs the coming school holidays. I've got about 5 jobs lined up to write cover letters for, but while Im taking care of classrooms I can't fathom giving that a real chance until later this week. Plus I have that playwriting competition I'm yet to finish my submission for. Hopefully the whole thing can sort itself out asap.

The waiting line at Centrelink was boring as all heck this afternoon but thankfully fast-ish.

I tried to return to some dieting habits today, but didn't really have the motivation to continue past 6pm. I watched Astro Boy this evening. It was kinda ordinary.

Fruit of the Moment: Candy Corn

RTFM

2010-10-10T23:52:00.004+11:00

Apparently, waking people up at 10:30am on a Sunday constitutes as a sleep-in. This fact, brought to you by the world of Glen Jackson. This was not my most favourable memory of the day, but it paved the way for a whole lot of fun in the sun.

Putting my Monopoly playing urges aside, I insisted that Glen and Leila use the last day of the school holidays to have a beach picnic. Glen chose the picnic location, Leila chose the yoghurt and I chose the car. Several layers of sunscreen later, we were all propped up on a blanket on a secluded Wingdang beach enjoying chicken, bread and (in my case) deep fried potato sticks.

Later, Leila needed to return home in preparation for her sister arriving. This both aggravated Styx the cat (he hissed at their arrival) and prevented people from playing Bananagrams. In the end however, I was running late to drive up to Double Bay to catch up with Gen. So I left.

In equal parts diagnostic and downloading, we exhaled our latest woes about the men or lack of men in our lives. Specifically my problems involved unexplored territory, brought upon through events which have made me reconsider how I feel in regards to things. Which, when diagnosed via Gen, had a logical and simplistic approach to plot the new grounds. I look forward to deciding weather or not her advice was suited.

We watched TRON. Also, her older brother found it necessary to strip to his underwear in front of us while the movie was playing. Which I didn't mind due to the tiny man-slut that lives inside my brain. TRON was great.

Fruit of the Moment: Vicarious Coconut

OH...

2010-10-09T11:31:00.002+11:00

Waking up at 6am on a Saturday has never felt so dam good :)

I spent the day with Louise and Brendan at Leura Fair; an annual event for Leura and collective of all jams and preserves known to man-kind. Plus a whole chicken. Louise had us candle shopping, and I had us boutique paper browsing. Brendan got some coke straw glasses at the toy store.

The rain didn't dampen the dapper mood I was in. In fact, it inspired me to buy a vest while in a second hand vintage store. I was looking through the racks of amazingly awesome clothes thinking they would look much better on someone else specifically, until I found a zany purple knit top. Then I bought it, no longer concerned that the rest of the store looked better elsewhere.

I managed to sleep all the way back from the mountains to Louise's house, giving me ample time to both upload Dollhouse for her before jotting off to Wollongong for a pizza adventure with Leila and Glen.

Polishing up on my dyslexia, I practiced the difference between saying 'Harry' and 'Hagrid' while reading chapter five from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (or for my American readers: Sorcerer's Stone).

Then, for dessert we laughed through CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS. I laughed once again at the England bashing and Leila laughed at the Rat-birds. There were many more things to laugh at, but you should watch for yourselves.

Fruit of the Moment: 1.2mb per second!?

You untagged yourself? Oh wait, no you didn't.

2010-10-08T23:26:00.003+11:00

It's a great feeling to have finally taken that first step towards a job. Now all that I need do is apply myself in piles of applications for the next month while I await my Prince Charming to recruit me in my dream job.

Prince Charming of course is not a romantic interest in this fantasy, although it would help matters if he were tall dark and handsome. No, I'm looking for a marriage of such to my new career and I'm going all the way with this one.

Never before have I set out to find a full time job. Any school or place I have earned a pay-check was the result of good timing, exclusive membership or random-hapenstance. Now, the tables have turned and this cow is looking to be sold.

In anycase, I took my sweet time to start. After breaking my long term relationship with my portable scanner and tidying up my old hard-drive files, I sat outside with my sister's Labradoodle Link and completed my resume/portfolio in one afternoon.

It was only therefore fitting to celebrate with Louise, Tuneil and her charming boy Noah (who demanded to ride on my shoulders after dinner at Mondos).

Fruit of the Moment: Blue Sky

You do what you need to

2010-10-07T21:07:00.005+11:00

My morning today was 2pm.

I made cookies today. And I washed up. And I watched Gossip Girl.

And thats it. I tried to navigate the Centrelink website, but found it too difficult to do.

Im not down or lazy or depressed or suicidal. I've just got nothing to look towards and need to refuel.

Fruit of the Moment: Burnt Wholegrain Mustard

My box hurts

2010-10-06T23:41:00.001+11:00

I got up so early and just remember thinking; why?

I did need to drive Mum to pick up her ex pets. But that about wraps it up for today. Nothing else was required of me. Oh yeah, except for my trip to the doctors. Big help that was. Apparently I can't run anymore, and I need to see a physiotherapist. I'm told they cost a butt-load of cash so its pretty hopeless at the moment. Oh, and also I should talk to my family and friends about being depressed because they all have university degrees in phycology.

I finished up Dollhouse. It was lame 'they' axed yet another good show.

Tonight possibly be the first night in a while that I sleep in a bed. I haven't deserved one lately and the floor reminds me of Buck's Rock. But I've developed a sore throat and shouldn't continue floor sleeping just in case it's making me sick as well.

Fruit of the Moment: Mango Cheesecake

4 shizle

2010-10-05T22:21:00.005+11:00

With very little sleep due to watching more Dollhouse episodes than planned last night, I drove into Sydney Domestic Airport. There, I found some really awful coffee along with two Wollongong residents returning home from their Melbourne holiday.

So, I took them home and watched more Dollhouse.

I just seem to have no reason to get working on a resume or a portfolio or any job hunting.

I've just got nothing to look towards. No one to answer for and no responsibilities. Getting a Job now will start me on the path to a mortgage and later, a prison of discontentment. How many days can I survive without having to face being locked in a prison of my own making? Not many.

Fruit of the Moment: Secret Coconut

Are you already here?

2010-10-04T23:48:00.000+11:00

The days are starting to melt together.

One day becomes another in a series of circumstances leading to nowhere.

Today for instance, I visited a Nan Tien Temple. Reportedly the largest Buddhist temple in the southern hemisphere. I was catching up with a friend from Wollongong, and rather than the standard coffee, he suggested the vegetarian cafe there for lunch.

I wasn't really in the mood for a debrief on my state of woe-is-me today, so I was surprised at spending the whole time answering questions about why America was so shit, and how much woe-is-me there is at the moment.

In anycase, this paved way for an evening alone with Dominos online delivery service and Snow Falling on Cedars. Unfortunately, it couldn't hold my interest for long, so I watched 6 episode of Dollhouse instead.

Fruit of the Moment: Stroll

it seems like it does happen to you alot

2010-10-03T23:05:00.003+11:00

When losing a wallet, it is rather important not to panic.

This is what I did today for two hours. I panicked and rummaged and ransacked and emptied contents of bins. I turned furniture upside down, frightened the cat and ran up the street in what I wore to bed hoping to find my brown leather wallet by the side of the road by some miracle.

Good thing that my sister had last night distracted me as I was getting out of my car in the rain. It seems my wallet slipped underneath my car jack on the passenger side, so it was pretty well hidden even for a thorough search of the car.

Fruit of the Moment: Rum and Raisin

I'm glad I wore underwear now

2010-10-02T23:18:00.000+10:00

The Coast track. Last year around this time(ish) we trekked down the east coast of Australia for 30kms. This year, we did it again. In the rain. And with more people.

My sister and her partner joined forces with his mate Chris and her bestie Diana. Also, even after all the goading and high heel references, Aneesa didn't make the hike. Sean and I both agreed she never would have made it anyway :)

Starting at Bundeena and ending at Otford was our 19 mile walking journey of funness.

This morning, having prepared no clothes for the trip I thought it would be okay to borrow a pair of Glen's shorts and this rain jacket thingy he had. I would have literally been soaked if I didn't. Also, pantless. Also, it was lucky I had a belt because the pants were a little too big.

The journey which was overcast, cold and rainy took a little over 8 hours. Not including driving time of course. I managed to ever scrape out an idea for the Macarthur Playwriting Festival, which I shall be writing soon.

Pity chucking out last night's junk didn't stop Coles from stocking more of the same stuff today tho.

Fruit of the Moment: Tuna by itself

The pirates hid the treasure on the spaceship

2010-10-01T22:30:00.004+10:00

You know you're a lucky guy when a 5 year old screams your name and runs towards you in a crowded room of strangers with reckless abandon and gives you the biggest hug known to mankind.

I happen to have dined with Tuneil today, both at lee and me & Diggies. We took Noah to the beach after Diggies and I enjoyed eating normal food for a day. Of course I went overboard, but I will get to that.

It was amazing to share a really calm day with two great people chatting about things so dramatically looming about our heads. Also, about sisters.

So, when I took a trip to the supermarket I went overboard with the "normal" food. With so much sugar and syrup and candy and ice-cream and deep fried spring rolls, it was near impossible to carry home. I made my self physically sick with stomach cramps, insane indigestion and a sugar headache that could rival the founder's of Baskin Robins. Even now, i'm just hold back on the verge of purging the contents of my stomach.

So I threw it all out. The candy and sugar and ice-cream and cereals and everything I bought for the ultimate sugar rush. Well, I kept the un opened packet of sprinkles and the opened toffee sauce, for Leila if she wanted.

What am I to do? I get so worked up about eating the right thing that the wrong thing becomes unavoidable. PEH! To blazes with the lot of it.

Also, I need to find me some happiness.

Fruit of the Moment: Passing the Time

You need something bland

2010-09-30T21:16:00.003+10:00

And as the ocean washes over me, I have more nothing to deal with.

Such as my car's service. Driving the 9km, and walking back. Walking the 9km to retrieve said car and driving back. Such was the day of ritual suncream application and highway walking.

I completely bailed on my diet. Come 4pm, I'd had enough. A slice of cake, with lots of sugar later and I was indulging in things like a peanut butter sandwich and some rice pudding. Point is, I blew it. Point is I just have nothing to control at the moment. Point is my brain hurts from the intake of sugar as I grab a muffin.

Walking down the highway, talking on my phone to Glen, I actually lowered my phone by instinct when a cop car was approaching on the opposite side of the road. Stupidly I realised I wasn't behind the wheel.

I made Mum and Dad a traditional Lamb Pie for their dinner. Complete with all the trimmings like lard pastry, rosemary lamb gravy and all. It took all day to make (well to slow cook anyhew). They seemed to love it. All was well I guess? Cooking has become the last thing I'm holding onto.

Fruit of the Moment: 100's and 1000's

scottoholic

2010-09-29T20:30:00.002+10:00

With not much in mind for the day, I got to run a fair few errands.

Groceries ranked up bit of a bill, mostly because of my recent fascination with cookies. I bought a new biscuit tray you see. Also, nuts and flours.

Anyhew, in sorting out my situation with centrelink, I have now signed an agreement agreeing to find work while on the looking-for-work doll... duh.

I organised a trip to Thai tonight with Louise and hoped mum could come along on the ride. Drama followed as it often does with families and mum didn't make it. Also, the Thai restaurant was closed. Also, the one we went to served an okay ginger stir-fry, but I ate about 80% of it.

I've reached that critical stage of the diet plan I'm following. Where eating too much of a meal is considered 'bad'. Its what led to my demise back at the conclusion of my last attempt. Also, it's pretty shit that I "cheated" on something that i really didn't want in the first place. But was it cheating? Eating a plate a stir fried vegies.. I mean how lame is that?

Shopping in Coles after dinner, I found some caramel cookie dough ice-cream. This was a genuine crave. It was like I needed to become one with the caramel cookie dough with its caramel fudge chunk swirls. That would have been some mighty fine cheating. Alas, we could not be together. Not tonight. Besides, I would be cheating on my current husband.

Mum's unhappy, and I don't know what to do about it.

Fruit of the moment: Garlic breath

and involves no driving and parking

2010-09-28T19:25:00.002+10:00

The drawback of running after sun up is the application of greasy sunscreen.

Making sugar cookies this morning reminded me of eating nothing but sugar cookies in Disneyworld. They now are the property of one Aneesa Kruyer, after being rejected by my lovely sister.

My mother's mood today mirrored by that of mine yesterday. So, I made every effort to cheer the mood. We had one of those rare conversations that didn't mention the failures of my existence and ways to fix them. Also, peanut butter toast may have been involved.

I hadn't washed up or taken the bins out by the time my father walked through the door. This generated a storm cloud that followed him around the rest of the night, despite the subsequent cleaning I undertook.

Bed will soon be mine. That and Scott Pilgrim 5.

Fruit of the Moment: Chicken Nuggets

She was worried about your cryptic message

2010-09-27T22:58:00.002+10:00

My first thought today as morning crept into Double Bay was I feel dead.

Not tired, not in pain or anything like that. Just dead. Gone. Pointless. Without meaning or need to continue. And with such a fun thought in my mind, I did not run around Double Bay like I should have.

Gen didn't quite know what to say when she asked how I was either.

We had a morning coffee at Yellow after some leet reverse parking in Elizabeth Bay. Paul Keating was there reading his newspaper. He didn't look dead like me. Also, I spilt a bottle of water. In front of the former prime minister.

"Making up" for my lack of running had me walking from Elizabeth Bay to David Jones in the city and back. It was closed.

After a doctor's appointment in Newtown, the M5 had gridlocked due to a bad accident. I went home via Heathcote Road.

I cut myself shaving this afternoon and let my face bleed profusely.

Tonight, we all surprised Tuneil with a surprise birthday party. She was surprised. Without missing a beat, she asked me if there was something wrong. I told her I felt dead. She wasn't happy about that, but content that I had eaten today.

The kitchen kept putting salad dressing on my lame0-ass-salad. Three times it took for no salad dressing. And even then, I watched them make it. And it tasted like cardboard.

I made an inappropriate asian joke and the waiter broke a table in two. The two were not related incidences.

Fruit of the Moment: Red Ears

un. Believable. Oh. My. God.

2010-09-26T23:10:00.000+10:00

Having woken again to some kind of evil early sun themed weekend, I got to marvel at the bay window views of Mosman's water front property.

Then, I realised I had no way of going for a run. I mean I had all my gear, just no idea about the area or traffic. So instead, I sat by the bay window and waited for someone to wake up.

Gen was first to and she seemed quite motivated to get coffee down the street. Soon it became apparent that what she really craved was McDonald's hotcakes. So, we all missed out on a trio breakfast in a local cafe somewhere.

Leila took us to a beautiful grand old fashioned style cinema complex in Cermorne: The Orpheum. It was a one final wave to childhood as we saw the fitting coming of age independent film: Boy.

I was so anxious to stay with Leila, while Gen was so anxious to start her mother's 60th birthday book that I felt a little stretched. Eventually, Gen and I left Leila alone so that I could go and watch Gen buy a cup of noodles from the Double Bay Woolworths before starting the dramatic 5 hour adventure that was editing, cropping and arranging photos. Now, complete we had dinner at a Japanese place up the street. With room for afterwards gelato down the road for both Gen and Tomas.

Fruit of the Moment: Aloe Vera Sunscreen