You need something bland

And as the ocean washes over me, I have more nothing to deal with.

Such as my car's service. Driving the 9km, and walking back. Walking the 9km to retrieve said car and driving back. Such was the day of ritual suncream application and highway walking.

I completely bailed on my diet. Come 4pm, I'd had enough. A slice of cake, with lots of sugar later and I was indulging in things like a peanut butter sandwich and some rice pudding. Point is, I blew it. Point is I just have nothing to control at the moment. Point is my brain hurts from the intake of sugar as I grab a muffin.

Walking down the highway, talking on my phone to Glen, I actually lowered my phone by instinct when a cop car was approaching on the opposite side of the road. Stupidly I realised I wasn't behind the wheel.

I made Mum and Dad a traditional Lamb Pie for their dinner. Complete with all the trimmings like lard pastry, rosemary lamb gravy and all. It took all day to make (well to slow cook anyhew). They seemed to love it. All was well I guess? Cooking has become the last thing I'm holding onto.

Fruit of the Moment: 100's and 1000's

scottoholic

With not much in mind for the day, I got to run a fair few errands.

Groceries ranked up bit of a bill, mostly because of my recent fascination with cookies. I bought a new biscuit tray you see. Also, nuts and flours.

Anyhew, in sorting out my situation with centrelink, I have now signed an agreement agreeing to find work while on the looking-for-work doll... duh.

I organised a trip to Thai tonight with Louise and hoped mum could come along on the ride. Drama followed as it often does with families and mum didn't make it. Also, the Thai restaurant was closed. Also, the one we went to served an okay ginger stir-fry, but I ate about 80% of it.

I've reached that critical stage of the diet plan I'm following. Where eating too much of a meal is considered 'bad'. Its what led to my demise back at the conclusion of my last attempt. Also, it's pretty shit that I "cheated" on something that i really didn't want in the first place. But was it cheating? Eating a plate a stir fried vegies.. I mean how lame is that?

Shopping in Coles after dinner, I found some caramel cookie dough ice-cream. This was a genuine crave. It was like I needed to become one with the caramel cookie dough with its caramel fudge chunk swirls. That would have been some mighty fine cheating. Alas, we could not be together. Not tonight. Besides, I would be cheating on my current husband.

Mum's unhappy, and I don't know what to do about it.

Fruit of the moment: Garlic breath

and involves no driving and parking

The drawback of running after sun up is the application of greasy sunscreen.

Making sugar cookies this morning reminded me of eating nothing but sugar cookies in Disneyworld. They now are the property of one Aneesa Kruyer, after being rejected by my lovely sister.

My mother's mood today mirrored by that of mine yesterday. So, I made every effort to cheer the mood. We had one of those rare conversations that didn't mention the failures of my existence and ways to fix them. Also, peanut butter toast may have been involved.

I hadn't washed up or taken the bins out by the time my father walked through the door. This generated a storm cloud that followed him around the rest of the night, despite the subsequent cleaning I undertook.

Bed will soon be mine. That and Scott Pilgrim 5.

Fruit of the Moment: Chicken Nuggets

She was worried about your cryptic message

My first thought today as morning crept into Double Bay was I feel dead.

Not tired, not in pain or anything like that. Just dead. Gone. Pointless. Without meaning or need to continue. And with such a fun thought in my mind, I did not run around Double Bay like I should have.

Gen didn't quite know what to say when she asked how I was either.

We had a morning coffee at Yellow after some leet reverse parking in Elizabeth Bay. Paul Keating was there reading his newspaper. He didn't look dead like me. Also, I spilt a bottle of water. In front of the former prime minister.

"Making up" for my lack of running had me walking from Elizabeth Bay to David Jones in the city and back. It was closed.

After a doctor's appointment in Newtown, the M5 had gridlocked due to a bad accident. I went home via Heathcote Road.

I cut myself shaving this afternoon and let my face bleed profusely.

Tonight, we all surprised Tuneil with a surprise birthday party. She was surprised. Without missing a beat, she asked me if there was something wrong. I told her I felt dead. She wasn't happy about that, but content that I had eaten today.

The kitchen kept putting salad dressing on my lame0-ass-salad. Three times it took for no salad dressing. And even then, I watched them make it. And it tasted like cardboard.

I made an inappropriate asian joke and the waiter broke a table in two. The two were not related incidences.

Fruit of the Moment: Red Ears

un. Believable. Oh. My. God.

Having woken again to some kind of evil early sun themed weekend, I got to marvel at the bay window views of Mosman's water front property.

Then, I realised I had no way of going for a run. I mean I had all my gear, just no idea about the area or traffic. So instead, I sat by the bay window and waited for someone to wake up.

Gen was first to and she seemed quite motivated to get coffee down the street. Soon it became apparent that what she really craved was McDonald's hotcakes. So, we all missed out on a trio breakfast in a local cafe somewhere.

Leila took us to a beautiful grand old fashioned style cinema complex in Cermorne: The Orpheum. It was a one final wave to childhood as we saw the fitting coming of age independent film: Boy.

I was so anxious to stay with Leila, while Gen was so anxious to start her mother's 60th birthday book that I felt a little stretched. Eventually, Gen and I left Leila alone so that I could go and watch Gen buy a cup of noodles from the Double Bay Woolworths before starting the dramatic 5 hour adventure that was editing, cropping and arranging photos. Now, complete we had dinner at a Japanese place up the street. With room for afterwards gelato down the road for both Gen and Tomas.

Fruit of the Moment: Aloe Vera Sunscreen

Sometimes, I wish i'd been a stripper

Saturday, and who really knows without a calendar? 2010.

A vibrant and powerful sun pierced my consciousness earlier than I would have liked this morning. The troubles with having a bedroom facing east is the wake up calls.

Not really knowing what to do when the main television was taken by dad watching old Ma & Pa Kettle movies; I stole my mother's laptop, updated her software, cleaned up the hard-drive and put a whole bunch of photos from Louise's 21st up there.

Then, with the hours I had left with my morning I made Leila some farewell-to-your-childhood baked goods. I had wanted to make Monte Carlos. But when I realised I don't really have any interest in fighting Pam for the Monte Carlo crown, I decided to try something along the same vein but different. My mother tested the misshapen biscuit of the batch. Her 20 minute passionate moaning that followed led me to believe the cookies were great.

Anyway, I had teenagers to meet up with. Having not seen Sean and Anessa since getting back 2 weeks ago, it was time for a coffee. Or so I thought. Maybe coffee was a mistake. Bondi Ben and Jerry's would have been a much better idea me thinks. The coffee at Mondo's was a little lame says I. Also, it probably would have made me feel better if Louise was there as well. Good thing she called and made me feel bad about it.

My NAVMAN decided when it was time, to take me on a circular tour of North Sydney before heading to Mosman. Making me 15 minutes late to the house and providing a short window of traveling time to Enopizzaria: the evening's restaurant.

Italian restaurants are pretty lameo for people with crazy low calorie diets such as myself. Pastas, Pizzas, Creams, Meats, Breads... all dripping in oil. Salad with dressing on the side was my choice. Surprisingly it was really tasty, just not cheese pizza.

The waiter was a bit of a prick tho. Our second waiter of the evening up the road for coffee at Maisy's 24hour Cafe redeemed the shitty first waiter with his veiny arms.

Leila, Gen and I stayed up all night with our doonas, overlooking the Mosman Bay ocean views. Also, we watched I Love You, Philip Morris.

Also, we talked about our husbands (my husband is my diet).

Fruit of the Moment: Braised Fig(s)

Do you wanna talk to Terry?

There's nothing better than being woken up by the tap tap tappings on my room's door from a man celebrating his 2nd year wedding anniversary, then spending the morning at Lee and Me with his wife of two years enjoying the most delicious breakfast.

Actually, it was a great atmosphere. I asked for a half portion of the house blend coffee & honey granola while the waitress looked a little sour in retort to our supposed tardiness in ordering. Anyhew when it arrived, in fear of my crazy diet I only ate half of the half but it was really good.

In getting home, Mum and I of course had an argument... I mean "discussion" about why I should or should not hang out with the friends I keep. Ah, no thanks.

I spent the afternoon writing up a storm for my proposal in directing Avenue Q for Rockdale Musical Society in September 2011. I'm pretty happy with the end result. The pdf kept screwing up while exporting it, so it took about 40 minutes just to make into a pdf... grr... Hope to hear back from them soonish.

Fruit of the Moment: Rotaiv