You need something bland

And as the ocean washes over me, I have more nothing to deal with.

Such as my car's service. Driving the 9km, and walking back. Walking the 9km to retrieve said car and driving back. Such was the day of ritual suncream application and highway walking.

I completely bailed on my diet. Come 4pm, I'd had enough. A slice of cake, with lots of sugar later and I was indulging in things like a peanut butter sandwich and some rice pudding. Point is, I blew it. Point is I just have nothing to control at the moment. Point is my brain hurts from the intake of sugar as I grab a muffin.

Walking down the highway, talking on my phone to Glen, I actually lowered my phone by instinct when a cop car was approaching on the opposite side of the road. Stupidly I realised I wasn't behind the wheel.

I made Mum and Dad a traditional Lamb Pie for their dinner. Complete with all the trimmings like lard pastry, rosemary lamb gravy and all. It took all day to make (well to slow cook anyhew). They seemed to love it. All was well I guess? Cooking has become the last thing I'm holding onto.

Fruit of the Moment: 100's and 1000's

scottoholic

With not much in mind for the day, I got to run a fair few errands.

Groceries ranked up bit of a bill, mostly because of my recent fascination with cookies. I bought a new biscuit tray you see. Also, nuts and flours.

Anyhew, in sorting out my situation with centrelink, I have now signed an agreement agreeing to find work while on the looking-for-work doll... duh.

I organised a trip to Thai tonight with Louise and hoped mum could come along on the ride. Drama followed as it often does with families and mum didn't make it. Also, the Thai restaurant was closed. Also, the one we went to served an okay ginger stir-fry, but I ate about 80% of it.

I've reached that critical stage of the diet plan I'm following. Where eating too much of a meal is considered 'bad'. Its what led to my demise back at the conclusion of my last attempt. Also, it's pretty shit that I "cheated" on something that i really didn't want in the first place. But was it cheating? Eating a plate a stir fried vegies.. I mean how lame is that?

Shopping in Coles after dinner, I found some caramel cookie dough ice-cream. This was a genuine crave. It was like I needed to become one with the caramel cookie dough with its caramel fudge chunk swirls. That would have been some mighty fine cheating. Alas, we could not be together. Not tonight. Besides, I would be cheating on my current husband.

Mum's unhappy, and I don't know what to do about it.

Fruit of the moment: Garlic breath

and involves no driving and parking

The drawback of running after sun up is the application of greasy sunscreen.

Making sugar cookies this morning reminded me of eating nothing but sugar cookies in Disneyworld. They now are the property of one Aneesa Kruyer, after being rejected by my lovely sister.

My mother's mood today mirrored by that of mine yesterday. So, I made every effort to cheer the mood. We had one of those rare conversations that didn't mention the failures of my existence and ways to fix them. Also, peanut butter toast may have been involved.

I hadn't washed up or taken the bins out by the time my father walked through the door. This generated a storm cloud that followed him around the rest of the night, despite the subsequent cleaning I undertook.

Bed will soon be mine. That and Scott Pilgrim 5.

Fruit of the Moment: Chicken Nuggets

She was worried about your cryptic message

My first thought today as morning crept into Double Bay was I feel dead.

Not tired, not in pain or anything like that. Just dead. Gone. Pointless. Without meaning or need to continue. And with such a fun thought in my mind, I did not run around Double Bay like I should have.

Gen didn't quite know what to say when she asked how I was either.

We had a morning coffee at Yellow after some leet reverse parking in Elizabeth Bay. Paul Keating was there reading his newspaper. He didn't look dead like me. Also, I spilt a bottle of water. In front of the former prime minister.

"Making up" for my lack of running had me walking from Elizabeth Bay to David Jones in the city and back. It was closed.

After a doctor's appointment in Newtown, the M5 had gridlocked due to a bad accident. I went home via Heathcote Road.

I cut myself shaving this afternoon and let my face bleed profusely.

Tonight, we all surprised Tuneil with a surprise birthday party. She was surprised. Without missing a beat, she asked me if there was something wrong. I told her I felt dead. She wasn't happy about that, but content that I had eaten today.

The kitchen kept putting salad dressing on my lame0-ass-salad. Three times it took for no salad dressing. And even then, I watched them make it. And it tasted like cardboard.

I made an inappropriate asian joke and the waiter broke a table in two. The two were not related incidences.

Fruit of the Moment: Red Ears

un. Believable. Oh. My. God.

Having woken again to some kind of evil early sun themed weekend, I got to marvel at the bay window views of Mosman's water front property.

Then, I realised I had no way of going for a run. I mean I had all my gear, just no idea about the area or traffic. So instead, I sat by the bay window and waited for someone to wake up.

Gen was first to and she seemed quite motivated to get coffee down the street. Soon it became apparent that what she really craved was McDonald's hotcakes. So, we all missed out on a trio breakfast in a local cafe somewhere.

Leila took us to a beautiful grand old fashioned style cinema complex in Cermorne: The Orpheum. It was a one final wave to childhood as we saw the fitting coming of age independent film: Boy.

I was so anxious to stay with Leila, while Gen was so anxious to start her mother's 60th birthday book that I felt a little stretched. Eventually, Gen and I left Leila alone so that I could go and watch Gen buy a cup of noodles from the Double Bay Woolworths before starting the dramatic 5 hour adventure that was editing, cropping and arranging photos. Now, complete we had dinner at a Japanese place up the street. With room for afterwards gelato down the road for both Gen and Tomas.

Fruit of the Moment: Aloe Vera Sunscreen

Sometimes, I wish i'd been a stripper

Saturday, and who really knows without a calendar? 2010.

A vibrant and powerful sun pierced my consciousness earlier than I would have liked this morning. The troubles with having a bedroom facing east is the wake up calls.

Not really knowing what to do when the main television was taken by dad watching old Ma & Pa Kettle movies; I stole my mother's laptop, updated her software, cleaned up the hard-drive and put a whole bunch of photos from Louise's 21st up there.

Then, with the hours I had left with my morning I made Leila some farewell-to-your-childhood baked goods. I had wanted to make Monte Carlos. But when I realised I don't really have any interest in fighting Pam for the Monte Carlo crown, I decided to try something along the same vein but different. My mother tested the misshapen biscuit of the batch. Her 20 minute passionate moaning that followed led me to believe the cookies were great.

Anyway, I had teenagers to meet up with. Having not seen Sean and Anessa since getting back 2 weeks ago, it was time for a coffee. Or so I thought. Maybe coffee was a mistake. Bondi Ben and Jerry's would have been a much better idea me thinks. The coffee at Mondo's was a little lame says I. Also, it probably would have made me feel better if Louise was there as well. Good thing she called and made me feel bad about it.

My NAVMAN decided when it was time, to take me on a circular tour of North Sydney before heading to Mosman. Making me 15 minutes late to the house and providing a short window of traveling time to Enopizzaria: the evening's restaurant.

Italian restaurants are pretty lameo for people with crazy low calorie diets such as myself. Pastas, Pizzas, Creams, Meats, Breads... all dripping in oil. Salad with dressing on the side was my choice. Surprisingly it was really tasty, just not cheese pizza.

The waiter was a bit of a prick tho. Our second waiter of the evening up the road for coffee at Maisy's 24hour Cafe redeemed the shitty first waiter with his veiny arms.

Leila, Gen and I stayed up all night with our doonas, overlooking the Mosman Bay ocean views. Also, we watched I Love You, Philip Morris.

Also, we talked about our husbands (my husband is my diet).

Fruit of the Moment: Braised Fig(s)

Do you wanna talk to Terry?

There's nothing better than being woken up by the tap tap tappings on my room's door from a man celebrating his 2nd year wedding anniversary, then spending the morning at Lee and Me with his wife of two years enjoying the most delicious breakfast.

Actually, it was a great atmosphere. I asked for a half portion of the house blend coffee & honey granola while the waitress looked a little sour in retort to our supposed tardiness in ordering. Anyhew when it arrived, in fear of my crazy diet I only ate half of the half but it was really good.

In getting home, Mum and I of course had an argument... I mean "discussion" about why I should or should not hang out with the friends I keep. Ah, no thanks.

I spent the afternoon writing up a storm for my proposal in directing Avenue Q for Rockdale Musical Society in September 2011. I'm pretty happy with the end result. The pdf kept screwing up while exporting it, so it took about 40 minutes just to make into a pdf... grr... Hope to hear back from them soonish.

Fruit of the Moment: Rotaiv

Make it Monday

I was unusually tired again today. Perhaps, I muse it is from a lack of eating.

I worked at Claymore Public School today, which was fun because all the teachers there were sheltering me from the apparent horrid behaviour of the students. I'm not going to sit here and type that it's a well behaved school, but it's a walk in the park comparatively to some others. Anyhew, the moral is I had a pretty cruisey day.

Made my drive down to Wollongong extra sleepy. So I had a few naps along the way.

Glen was using cement and mortar in the backyard when I got there to install a new brick pathway. It made me feel a little useless as a man. But then again, I do things that he can't like not eat bacon.

Leila had a super awful horrible day at work. It made me not feel good.

After my dinner, it was useless to resist staying awake.

Note: I'm blogging in secret from my room on their wireless dial up.

Fruit of the Moment: Supermarket Floor Strawberry

Mine's different coz i'm not straight

I ran this morning. Only the 3 miles. But more importantly, my knee wasn't hurting as much. Which is good-ish. Also, I wasn't limping everywhere all day. Which I feel is a positive step; (badomtish).

I had another teaching day at Ruse Public. My reward for two days of uncooperative children? A bunch of charmingly innocent infants who were only too happy to pay attention for every second of the day. Their reward? An afternoon of chaos, running around and pushing with Cutthroat Island; a game designed to inspire backstabbing, manipulation and competitiveness. They had lots of fun.

While at the shops gathering my yearly supply in yogurt (on special btw), I ran into KYRSTIE an old work mate from my days at KFC. She had two munchkins with her and we had a short chat before I realised she was wearing a Davenport singlet I had designed! Totally a spin out. From me to China and back, it was made and available. Glee!

I had planned to cook some cookies this evening in preparation for my trip to Wollongong tomorrow evening. However when I got home with the shopping, my mother had of course used enough of the peanut butter I had placed aside for the recipe to force another trip down the road. S'oh well. A second shopping expedition later, they turned out perfecto. (Get ready Leila)

Fruit of the Moment: Rotted Lemon

It's pretty much just entertaining my voyeurism

Today was set aside to visit both Work Solutions and Centrelink in attempts to completely settle my unemployment situation.

Of course, when I turned up for my compulsory interview with Work Solutions, it was decreed that since I had already filled in their paperwork last year, I was not required for a second interview process. So, thats fun.

Luckily the 1:30pm appointment at centrelink went smoothly and paperwork was stamped and signed.

In between I updated my credit card details at my bank, which of course turned into a 40 minute interview about my future financial goals. I also walked up to my sister's house to try and find Gossip Girl season 1 for my mother. Not being successful, I left with one of my original I'm-feeling-fatter-today t shirts in case I needed it tomorrow.

This arvo, the energy just went from 10 to zero while eating my latish lunch. So I didn't get any further resume wise. However, I did manage to pack away my clothes and belongings in a new temporary room. Which is rather neater than my things being sprawled out over the living room corner lounge.

Fruit of the moment: SOUP!

It was like BURNS!

Seeing as though I have all the time in the world to spare, it was uplifting to spend the majority of my day "discussing" the flaws of my existence with my mother.

I of course drew upon the time honoured literacy device of sarcasm in the construction of the statement above because it was neither uplifting, nor do I have time on my side.

Astonishingly, the issues I am debating within myself are the same observations raised in said discussion.

Once again, sarcasm was heavily used here as I am no longer astonished when my mother instinctively understands or appreciates my fears and anxieties, while I use the term discussion lightly.

Not surprisingly, issues with the continued diet and exercise regime plague me at every corner. The same knee I injured in New Milford is again causing enormous pain after a mere week of daily running. And everywhere I turn, my limited eating plan causes arguments or works against me.

Mum and I did the shopping down at the local IGA today. I also wrote a semi resume. Louise and Brendan came around for dinner and for the first time in history Dad didn't leave the table after dinner when we were talking nor did he complain about there being no meat in the meal. We later inducted our parents to CATAN, which was a lengthy process. Mum won because Louise cheated.

Fruit of the Moment: Maraschino cherry

True changes begins on the inside

There is currently a level of dissatisfaction and anarchy with my whole situation at the moment that will have resolve, but not in the immediate future. Small distractions presently hold a danger to me, and obsessions can become disastrous.

Today was a blur of nothing. Of surfing the internet and wasting my time and watching TV and typing to people online when the conversation would have lent itself better to words. I continue to feel more and more estranged from people and I want it to stop.

Fruit of the Moment: Hilarious Tea Cake

No more Wilfred, go home (it's late)

Packed and ready, it was an easy endeavour to prepare for an adventure.

Still consumed by what I eat, I prepared my meals for the day and found the combination of mushroom and tomato on rye to be amazingly awesome come lunchtime.

I received a call from Rockdale Musical Society President Walter. Walter is without a doubt the salt of the earth. A towering colossus of a man with endless drive, creativity and passion. In anycase, Walter was short 2 men backstage for Beauty and the Beast today and asked if I could fill in at short notice. Not a problem. Unless you call leaving my sister without a ride into the city tonight a "problem".

In their panic they over-catered on the extra backstage people, so I instead filled the short supply of ushers. Not wanting to watch the musical for a second time, I stayed out the front guarding the precious alcohol from random walk in Rockdale locals using the facilities in the lobby.

It seems important to mention here that I kept avoiding to acknowledge a specific person involved in the production (as in trying to avoid being in the same room with and such). They too were like-wise avoiding me. It seems important to note because I can't tell anymore who's being more childish as we haven't spoken to each other for about 2 years now, ever since a dramatic and emotionally draining set of circumstances. We passed each other after all this dodging and avoiding, in the car park after the show and it was like we had never met.

I then traversed to Newtown. The young one was turning older than a quarter century and to celebrate we were headed to an Italian restaurant Spigolo. It was pretty cool. An old man playing classic Sammy Davis and Frank Sinatra numbers in Italian was chugging away incoherently in the corner. Also all the waiters were men and they had their stereotypical italian tight black shirts on, which was fun.

The loosely laid plans were to eat and then bar. Not being a bar person, and having no concrete way of returning to my car in Erskineville, I was hesitant to continue on. However my curiosity in meeting a man named Lloyd, killed the cat allowing me to go the the bar.

Good thing the cat died instead of me. I had a pretty cool time. Birthday boy Justin had lots of alcoholic fuel, and the rest of us remained pleasantly in the land of moderation. Highlights of the evening included a trip through Oxford street to get to Lloyd's car who had very kindly offered a lift back to my car and being criticised for wearing this along with a candid opinion about the socially inappropriate company I keep.

Fruit of the Moment: Green Cochineal with-a-Monkey-in-it :)

The comedic wit of shaun micallef can never be surpassed

100g butter

300g peanut butter

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups self raising flour

When you cream the butter, PB and sugars together until light and fluffy, just add the egg and vanilla beating them in too. Then mix in the four. Chill the mixture for 2 hours in the fridge, then with a soup spoon, scoop out the mixture and roll into roughly 33 balls. Press them with a fork and cook in a preheated 190°C oven for 13 minutes. They will be squishy when you take them out, so carefully slide each cookie on a cooling tray.

While waiting for the cookie dough to chill, wash up the dishes that you had neglected the night before. Also it would be a great idea to generally tidy up the house for when your parents get home tomorrow.

When it is too late to go visit your grandfather, pack your bags as if you were going to be out all weekend and head to Bargo and visit your Aunt Maureen.

If time permits, catch up over tea or coffee, sample the Peanut Butter Cookies and talk about your recent trip to America.

Over a hot stove, steam some fresh vegetables from your aunt's garden as dinner and proceed with more conversation about family, spirits and the future.

Then play Bananagrams on repeat after putting on a second jumper to avoid the Bargo chill.

While driving home because it is too late to go anywhere else, try to get rid of the excess PB cookies by informing the local youth in the area of their existence. If no luck in free distribution, keep for tomorrow.

Fruit of the Moment: Poached? Egg

Mind me platypus duck, Bill

Surprised to feel a ping in my knee while running along the daily run, I was forced to stop and walk back to camp. Now I don't want to sound like a wuss, but from that point on, bending my knee caused excruciating pain. Like cry out loud pain. Not so fun.

Being cautious about moving around all day allowed the joint to subside into normality by the early evening. I could get into a car without sharp jabs and jolts running up and down my leg.

This started me thinking about what I would do if I couldn't exercise. It is quite a worrisome thing. I'll get back to you on a solution.

What was less worrisome was the level of cooperation I got from the composite 3/4 class at Ruse Public School today. Equally as uncooperative as they were yesterday, but easily getting through double the work. Which supports the train of thought that continuity and structure aids in productivity for 9 year olds.

While Maths is legitimately my favourite subject to teach, I was too physically exhausted and cold to enjoy a double tax return submission evening with my sister. That is until I had a bowl of the tofu stir-fry Louise put on for us. It woke me up a little, but only having 7 hours sleep last night took it out of me. Yay low calorie diets!

Fruit of the Moment: Floor Bok Choy

Yay for not being poor soon

Apparently, when the NSW Institute of Teachers informs you no longer can teach, it is an empty threat of lies. Today and the 27 9-year-olds I taught proved this.

When driving to work, it frightened me that I would be teaching people who have not seen a time outside this millennium. A generation of children plugged into technology from their very birth. This concerns and frightens me on many levels. Mainly due to how dependent we are on technology, partly because it makes me old.

So the class was predictably bad behaved. Granted, it was a windy day which seems to stir up children more so than non windy days and that they had been without their real teacher for over 3 weeks. But other than this there was the general shit you have to deal with when a new face comes into the room. This is the part of teaching I hate. The establishing shop part.

Sometimes it would be nice to provide, say an instruction without having to back it up with behaviour management strategies.

This class had 5 boys and 4 girls who found every opportunity they could to interrupt, argue and blame others. Why bother putting in time to solve the problem when you're gone tomorrow? Basically they're all bananas because their stable learning environment has been invaded every day for three weeks. How would you like it if you got a new boss every day for 15 days straight? They'd all run things differently enough to piss you off no doubt.

Anyway, I manage to with much pomp and circumstance reschedule my 2pm resume appointment tomorrow with the work solutions mob centerlink had placed me with, allowing me to attend a fourth viewing of Scott Pilgrim Versus the World tonight at Wollongong Uni.

PILGRIM was amazing with a crowd of 600 people. Especially when you have the company of your sister to talk to on the ride there and keep you awake on the drive home. That movie is slowly cementing its way to my top movie spot.

Fruit of the Moment: Burning Tofu

You won this item on eBay: Singer Knitting Machine 322 260659931425

There was an unsettling cloud bank drifting serenely as the drizzling rain mirrored my spirits for the future.

My morning run, unhindered by rain save for a few moments went better that my previous two attempts. While still out of breath in reaching the end I felt it wasn't beyond me to have run the 3 miles.

The president of the Arcadians notified me via email this morning that my application for A NEW BRAIN had been unsuccessful as all the other applicants came with a full production team. And as mine lacked an MD, they were cautious. Which is disappointing but not unexpected.

I had conversations with a few centrelink representatives, which resulted in some modest payments headed my way until I find my feet in the working world. Which you know, helps.

I tried to find productive things to do today, yet there were too many procrastinating options to choose from. So alas, there was no work achieved. I'm currently trying to watch Braveheart, but in my boredom I began to write this at the same time. So you know, it's not working out.

Tomorrow I start 2 days at Ruse Public School on a 3/4 class. Which may or may not result in difficulties when it comes to payment. Let us all hope my return to my 2nd prac school goes well.

Fruit of the Moment: Kiwi

Kissing an older woman

It really concerns me how legitimately hard it is to run for 3 miles. My foot blisters are a little worse after today's run, so I hope they level out shortly.

Marking day one: a period of calculated food intake (otherwise known as a diet), I'm feeling good about eating food that is well, actually food and not made from corn. This novelty of fresh food will most likely wear off after a few weeks.

Today the task was to prepare for this evening's Arcadian proposal to Direct a 2011 musical for the company. Which wasn't easy given no printing from my laptop. Also, finding a MD who will work for free and travel to Wollongong two nights a week is difficult. More than difficult.

Thankfully Gen was there to help calm my submission nerves with a pre musical submission coffee from the local newsagent (seeing as though everything in Austinmer closes at 3pm on a Monday). We had ourselves a great catch up, although she failed to mention the potential move to Canberra.

Submission wise, I had prepared several hand painted mind map posters for the Arcadian Committee to enjoy. It was hard to read how they liked the application, given the company do not generally undertake contemporary shows. But I remain satisfied that I clearly communicated my philosophies as a director and the direction I would take A NEW BRAIN if produced with the Arcadians. Given that, I also believe that I do not have a favourable chance at a successful application, given the complexity of the score coupled with the lack of Musical Director and contemporary themes.

So, it was a good thing I got to play Bananagrams with Leila, Glen and Gen after the meeting. I surprisingly won a word game while opposing Leila for three rounds. No joke. It's pretty much a near impossible feat.

Fruit of the Moment: White Raspberry

Four, no five year plan. Yeah.

This morning I stepped out into the sunshine and rebooted my daily exercise. It was a shock how difficult it was to run such a short distance. I managed to run for 3 miles before I had no more in me. My feet ached, my chest was sore and there were blisters somewhere on my toes.

This is what happens to someone who could comfortably run 8 miles after a 2 month break.

It's going to be fun, but I'll get back to those 8 mile Sundays.

In other news, its always fun to be a sponge. Which is what I'm going to be for the next three months. As I kept saying today when people asked why I was feeling stressed out; I was without three things:

A Home

Money and

A Job

Greg Jones asked if I at least had sex to compensate for the lack of the other three. He advised me to prioritise that before any other goal listed above. A truly wise man.

I joined the front of house staff for Rockdale Musical Society's Beauty and the Beast today. Basically, this meant a free ticket to the show in exchange of selling raffle tickets to strangers. Which I made a fairly awesome crack at. Most people gave me a fiver, only two giving a $2 coin. The show was lavish, but awful. It was Beauty and The Beast after all and no matter how good the performances are (and they were darn good too), the stage show stinks.

There, I ran into less familiar faces than I thought I would but still became reunited with people I hadn't seen since I cut my ties with Shire Music Theatre last September. More importantly, I discovered that Rockdale are producing Avenue Q next September. So, I met the new president of the society and vouched for my awesomeness as they most likely will be needing a director.

Meanwhile, i'm trying to put together a production team for my submission of A NEW BRAIN to the Arcadians tomorrow night. As of this moment, I have only a Producer on board. The MD and CHOREOGRAPHER elude me. Mainly because the Arcadians are not financially able to pay their production teams like the majority of Sydney Theatre Companies. Which leaves all my music contacts out. I would desperately love to give three young first timers a go at the production team seat. I fear the committee however would not approve of such philosophy.

Also it was awesome to have good coffee in Newtown this afternoon. I had forgotten what good coffee tasted like and had been for the past 3 days foolishly worshiping real coffee without taste due to it being simply that; real. Real good coffee has since put an end to this false worship. I also felt so embarrassed when I was unable to pay as the notes in my wallet were still American dollars despite having been in the country for 4 days now.

This evening I saw Ryan Kwanten in Dead Silence. Being in 98% of the film, he was pretty much responsible for focusing my attention span. I kept admiring how the clothes he wore fit his frame, highlighting that slim athletic build of his. Given my current state of mind it wasn't a stretch for me to think I'd never be able to look like that, given how old I currently am compared to the young actor. I found it comforting to discover after a little wiki-stalking that he was 4 years older than I am now when he made the film. Today, Ryan is 6 years older than me and looking mighty fine.

Fruit of the Moment: Pumpkin Soup

So, lets go through her shit

Its great to be waking up in Wollongong.

Since the end of Buck's Rock, I have not been sleeping well. It may be because I spent the last two weeks there sleeping less than 4 hours a day. Or not. In anycase, I now find it difficult to get to sleep and more importantly, find rest within said sleep. Even when sleeping for 9 or 10 hours, I'm awaking unrested. And this morning was no exception.

Coffee was provided by a swanky new cafe press of Leila's and it was coffeetastic. As their car would not be repaired until after the weekend, I drove Leila and Glen to pick up another car for driving towards their weekend-family-reunion-getaway thingy.

At home, I had time to watch Interview with a Vampire, which was basically a romantic gay romp between Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. I also baked a batch of sugar cookies which I suspected were less than awesome, despite how amazingly solid the pre-bake cookie dough was. Louise said they were too floury. Which is a cookie fail in my book.

Meanwhile, I had a great pre-race warm up to my new diet which will take effect on Monday (lasting until my Birthday). Having consumed nothing but disgusting tasting crap in America, I now plan to reinstate the calorie controlled methods I gleaned from my last diet. I seemed pretty okay with my lack of excessive eating today. Just me and the nutrients I need without the massive quantities of addictive corn syrup. I'm sure the road will get bumpy soon.

Tonight, a great gang gathered gayly while grouped together at Tuneil's house. Aside from excessive use of alliteration, we had Thai food to celebrate the welcoming home of me. Which was awesome. I got to distribute some souvenirs and wish Noah a happy birthday. I especially had fun face-stalking with the uni gang. Also, I assume Brendan appreciated Noah chasing him around the house to play with his belt buckle. He was after all wearing a NES controller.

What was strange about today was that I was anxious all day. I was being irrational and stupid, but anxious none the less. On reflection, I needn't have been anxious at all. Funny how we can be worried about stupid things.

Fruit of the Moment: Invading Chicken

There are nothing in these, can you solve this?

Once again I find myself unsure and exposed to the elements.

Not really having a purpose to be alive, the next few months can go either way. The horrible truth about not having a job, not having a home and not having any money is that the freedom you derive from it is limited by your lack of means.

Today, instead of looking for a new job or a new home or cleaning things that needed cleaning, I watched television, ate a fair few biscuits that I had sworn against along with a decent sized chunk of fruit cake.

Last year, when I came home from America I fell into the pattern of sitting around all day upset eating cookie dough and custard. I said to myself that this was not happening this time around. And yet here I was, once again alone and eating things because I was bored. And not only were they full of sugar, but completely void of protein (something my diet has been distinctly lacking over the past 5 months due to my bakery/cookie binge that followed my diet and the lack of food available in America).

I had made arrangements with Leila that Glen would pick me up after school this afternoon and take me down to Wollongong to reunite me with my car and my phone. Sadly, this ended pretty poorly for Glen. Their car's gear box decided to drop and now the car is stuck in a permanent 4th
gear. Which means their planned weekend trip to central NSW tomorrow is shot to shit.

Leila ended up driving my car up after work, picking me up, finding Glen and then finding a restaurant to eat at. Sadly my obsession with eating things while bored prevented me from having an appetite or joining them. I was content however to drink coffee; something I know to be extraordinarily healthy.

An amazingly good time followed this. A little because I was in the company of people. Mainly because it was Leila and Glen. Also because I finally was amazed by her knitting machine.

Fruit of the Moment: Cherry Stone Fail

I can't have two on my own

Customs this morning took it out of me.

My bags had apparently traveled around the turnstile and been shoved off in a confusing grab at the opposite end to where I had started waiting. Thus, I grew anxious for my bags that never turned up. Distressed they hadn't left LA as of yet, I called for the attention of the nearest person with a security badge. Thankfully on cue, a man with a 6 foot high pile of bags on a trolley came past with my bags secure on top of the pile.

Following this came a labyrinth of waiting in lines obviously put in place to prevent me from contact with my sister waiting on the other side.

Eventually, we were reunited and I spent the better part of my last three months driving around with someone to talk to. Eating at Indigo in Double Bay and Mondos in Campbelltown. Taking forever in determining where Tuneil worked and how to get there so as to surprise her. Playing with Link who had grown a mile long. And watching a movie Louise rented CASE 39 with a bowl of fruit salad.

Being exhausted is what I am right now. Dam Jet Lag.

Fruit of the Moment: Long Black

Im just sitting here because

What really is 26 hours of airtime? Can you say you experienced anything during those lost hours? The minutes you skipped forward in time? The seconds you lost due to sleep?

The flight today saw me through the first two volumes of the scott pilgrim series. In between volumes I really had to pee. Like one of those peeing emergencies. Painfully, even after 30 minutes of stable airtime, the seatbelt sign was still on. So, stupidly I awaited it to switch off, dutifully obeying the laws of the pilot. Fifteen minutes of agonising pain forced me to abandon all need for following rules and I leapt for the bathrooms; seatbelt sign or not.

After my near death experience, I started the first half of Mr Peanut by Adam Ross. Given there were no televisions on the connecting flight to LA, I had entertained myself pretty well.

After a jarring Australian accented welcome aboard the QANTAS flight that would take me home, I felt the need to switch my reading tactic to a movie affair. By take off, it was 4am orlando time (11pm LA time) and a struggle to stay awake for the brand new dinner served. SHREK 4 got me through dinner, but M Night Shyamalan's latest film couldn't sustain a second of my time.

In the "morning" there was time for DIARY OF A WHIMPY KID, a hideously awful tasting vegan meal and a few episodes of TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION. There, I escaped into a shameful fantasy involving myself and its gen-y host Josh Thomas. In said fantasy, there was lots of holding hands and cardigan wearing.

Needless to say, there was a touch down. Also, the plane landed Sydney time 7:15am.

Fruit of the Moment: Grilled Vegetable Flatbread

Damn Yankees... well, used to be a teacher.

Okay, so here we enter the weird time travel zone of no return. Where I magically lose 24 hours and defy the laws of physics.

Currently, I'm sponging off the free internet servers at the Orlando International Airport terminal. Which is to my liking and free.

Today has had it's share of near costly experiences. For instance, I had a few postcards to send off this morning. Rather than finding a vendor who sold stamps, I was directed left right and centre until I had to enter the Islands of Adventure theme parks. Once inside, I found the gift shop did not sell them, but had a stamp vending machine. The drawback of corse was that each 98c stamp cost me $1.50. So with a few postcards up my sleeve and a brand new roll of quarters, I grumbled about the 2 hours I had been walking around the resorts and paid the extra amount.

While in the park, I thought it best to have one more ride on Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. Unfortunately, the ride must run on Windows because it completely halted the minute I reached the front. Work lights came on, staff members started to run around angrily, and the people not stuck inside the ride were asked to rejoin the line. Americans get intensely angry at inconveniences btw.

Anyhew, long story short it took around an hour to fix the ride because not only did the whole thing need to be reset, but people stuck on the ride needed to disembark. Also, 3 technicians needed to ride once through each solo to confirm everything was in working order. So the ride took a long time to reboot with its many complicated and intricate working systems. Lucky there weren't any Velocirapors stalking near the system reboot buttons.

Picking me up at 3pm, my shuttle from the resort asked me for the ticket they had issued me. This turned out to be problematic when they in-fact had not issued me a ticket. Good thing the driver was friendly and accommodating. None the less, I will be double checking I wasn't charged again.

Checking in at the airport also became a nightmare when the flight STA had booked and swapped twice for me was not paid for according to the Orlando system. Which was a bit of nightmare because I really wasn't in the mood to pay for an airline ticket.

The first swap was because STA had originally booked me on a flight that got in 20 minutes after my connecting flight in LA departed. The second swap was because I was bumped to a flight that had me waiting in LA for over 12 hours.

Given that the current Australian time was 5am at check in, no one from the travel agency would be able to answer for this panic attack. My wonderful check-in-airport-thingy-person made it all go away with a (close to) 30 minute phone call to DELTA international relations in (I believe she said Chicago). Lucky that I had arrived when there were absolutely nobody waiting to check in otherwise my credit card would have cried itself to sleep.

Fruit of the Moment: Venti Extra Coffee Caramel Frappachino

She lied to you darling.

I had planned to sleep in today.

Waking up at 8am, confused the shit out of me. I had hardly shut my eyes. Why was I waking up? The next time I looked at the clock, it read 2pm. Much better was the though I had at this junction.

I had 2 hours then, to get to the bank and deposit an American cheque I received from someone at camp. So I walked the three miles in blazing sunlight to BANK OF AMERICA, Orlando. It was there that I discovered today was Labour Day. I went to Wikipedia to read about it, but it was too boring to read. The point is, the bank was of course closed and I couldn't deposit the cheque. Or could I? The ATM outside the bank said it accepted cheques. I inserted the cheque and like magic, the machine actually read how much it was worth! Rather than burn it at the stake for magics frightening and unknown, I just thanked how convenient it was.

On the way home, it poured with rain.

Room service was enjoyed with a re-watching of Toy Story 3. From the second viewing I merely observed how predominantly they featured the toddler Bonnie. Also while at camp, awesome man Andrew Marathas gave me the film PRIMER to watch. It's pretty slick. Especially for a first film. And for a budget of less than 7 grand. Also, now my head hurts.

Fruit of the Moment: 4 carrot glass

You have a good night Mr or Mrs Ogilvie

And with my final day of theme park visits on my 2011 tour of America came a lame array of bullshit. Smelling familiar, it just took longer to recognise because of the cosmetic surgery.

I was not ready to wake up at 7am today. Grumpy and tired, I headed into the arms of an expresso before Universal. The park itself was kinda lame. Also, it sucked big time. There was one decent roller coaster which lasted for a longer than expected time. But thats it. The Simpsons ride was hilarious, but threw me around so much it hurt my back. The ET ride was concerning in how much it vomited all over the movie. And the Jaws boat ride was not only pathetic, but the flames from the water singed my facial hair. Also, half the park wasn't open until 2 hours after the front gates opened. I mean what kind of Willy Wonka establishment is this?

I was done with the park by Midday. And home before room service had changed my bedsheets. I spent the remainder of the day catching up on some cinema including Splice, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, The A Team and Predators.

Fruit of the Moment: Peanut Butter Cake Batter

So, you were the first to greet me.

Fresh from an in hotel triple movie experience of Iron Man 2, Tooth fairy and Nightmare on Elm Street, comes todays epic positing of KenneyBlogg:

Being my first day at Universal, I had breakfast reservations at the Three Broomsticks. And given my excitement, I had expected something better than what I was presented with.

Taking the boat from My hotel room dock, I arrived at Islands of Adventure and set about in search of the Harry Potter island. With it, I found massive quantities of meat (save for the "traditional english porridge" which happened to be very lump oatmeal in worse shape than Buck's Rock take on the traditional breakfast food).

It was another great start to a depressingly disappointing holiday. I left breakfast asap and headed up to Hogwarts for the Forbidden Journey ride inside. There was this girl who loved my t-shirt standing behind me in the line. So while waiting, I established a smalltalk based bond with her family. This enabled me to not only feel overwhelmed at the level of detailUniversal had gone to with building Hogwarts, but also name all of them spotted to the family behind me like a real life Potter Trivia Safari Bingo thing. By the time I found the corridor housing the Sorting Hat, I couldn't contain myself and started crying in public. Like, not privately when I cried at the Disney fireworks but real open tears of overwhelment. Lucky it was dark in the corridor. And in the ride. I had transcended into this fantasy they created and became genuinely frightened at all the ghouls they sent my way on the most thrilling ride this trip has had to offer. It was magical.

The remainder of the day sucked big time. Especially the Dudley Doo Right water log ride, which both saturated you with water after every decent as well as pouring a bucket of water on top of you (just in case) while you were waiting in line to disembark. I mean, that was fucking rude. It wasn't even part of the ride. It was while you were trapped waiting, soaked and getting all your gear out to take with you. Thats just plain stupid. I hope my disposable camera survived.

Of course, the Olivander's line was an hour long. And when I got in, I discovered the wands they were selling were made from resin moulds, not wood. Bleh.

But of course none of this mattered in comparison to how amazing Hogwarts actually was. I'm scared to go back now. Because from my experience, when you go somewhere you thought was amazing, the second time turns out to be awful. I'm looking at you, summer camps of Connecticut.

Happy Birthday Noah.

Fruit of the Moment: Rainbow Sprinkles

a maaassive kerfuful about the whole thing

Breakfast this morning, straight from the imagination of Mary Poppins. An all you can eat buffet, but with chefs preparing what you wanted. Plus there was oodles of Disney characters swarming everywhere. I got attacked by Tigger like 5 times. Mary Poppins herself asked if I would like to hold her arm! And Alice along with the Hatter had this formal debate at my table about the lack of a second chair being available to change places with at my leisure. RIOT!

I spent a few final hours in the Magic Kingdom before finally departing. I took my final ride on Space Mountain, neatly bookending my Disney experience.

It was a meer cab ride away and I was rudely avoiding to tip bell boys at Lowes Royal Pacific, while checking in across the road from The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. And let me tell you, its a palace compared to Disney. And the food is amazing. I actually had vegetables for dinner. VEGETABLES!? And got to watch the surprisingly entertaining Clash of the Titans via my massive HD television that came with the room. AH, comfy bed time!

Fruit of the Moment: final frozen caffeinated coffee flavoured sugar drink

hey i'm not a slut... he wasn't a random

My last day of Disneyworld. Well, last full day anyway.

Today was to be a day of dining reservations. So much food, so little person. Not enough time.

We kickstart the day at Hollywood and Vine. An all you can eat (plus a whole chicken) breakfast buffet at Hollywood Studios. Only I was told it was in Epcot. So it was kinda embarrassing for me to rock up at Epcot for early admission and be told I was in the wrong theme park. More importantly, it was a great breakfast. Not because of the food mind you but because of my waitress Teresa who actually sat down at my table and staring talking with me. You know, like I wasn't alone in Disneyworld. Also, she made sure all the Little Einsteins characters who were greeting all the kiddies came over and meet me as well. It was super awesome.

So I go home after that and start packing. You know, because Im leaving tomorrow. I also had to do laundry, which I did between fitting everything into my bags again.

Lunch was at The Coral Reef Restaurant. Which was a giant fishbowl this time in Epcot for real. With a 67 year old giant turtle floating around. And a crazy mexican waiter named Art who would sneak up on you and whisper next to you in attempt to give you a shock. The food was amazing. Beyond amazing. The best food I had in Disney full-stop, period. Also, there was this mother daughter couple from Connecticut lunching next to me. I sent them Buck's Rock way for camp next year. They thought the camp sounded amazing (And cheap? So woah; cos, you know 9 grand is cheap apparently).

Finished packing after lunch and got to speak with buddy Justin over the internets. He was... rushed seeing as though it was morning and he was jutting off to work against his will.

Dinner was, (not surprisingly) awful in comparison to lunch and breakfast. I waited 40 minutes past my reservation to be seated and the food was meh at best. The 40 minute wait time wouldn't have been as bad if it applied to everyone. But walk-ins who arrived after I checked in got to go in before me. That freakin got my goat.

Anyhew, I finished Disney with Fantasmic! which, wasn't as good as I remember it being from Disneyland when I saw it there in 1995. But still pretty.

Tonight before showering, I noticed something entirely depressing. Remember how I was on a crazy diet for three months and lost all that weight? Well. Now, I found it again. And it's all back. I had that moment where I suddenly noticed it and It was sad. I have no one to blame but myself of course, with special thanks to:

• out of control sugar craziness binge post diet (you know how in refusing sugar and butter for 3 months, I went insane and a tad overboard with the muffins when it was over?)
• 2 months of shitty camp food
• breaking my exercise cycle at camp when I stopped going to bed at night due to insane working conditions / twisted my knee due to lack of protein in said diet
• having shitty, shitty DNA that makes it so incredibly hard to be anything other than pudgy without extreme efforts.

So yeah. I look forward to some more dieting upon return to Australia.

Fruit of the moment: Nopalitos

I'd rather pay them than say, Telstra

Waking up JUST in time to rush around my hotel room in order to clear out for housekeeping, I neglected to shower this morning but chose to rush down to "breakfast" at midday.

There, I managed to watch Steamboat Willie on the dining room cinema screen while eating my rather unhealthy american collection of breakfast items i.e. muffin and yogurt (trust me on the unhealthy part; its shameless). Anyway, in watching the first ever Mickey Mouse 'Talkie' for the first time, I realised just how much of a bastard he really is. That is one enormous prick everyone is worshipping. Check it out.

So, the plan today was to make as many dining reservations as possible. Being on the Deluxe Dining Plan, I had 3 meal points and 2 snack points for every day I was booked into the park. I currently have 16 Deluxe Dining points left and only 7 occasions to use them in. So, I needed to find 7 restaurants that used 2 dining points (the swanky ones use 2 points instead of 1) for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I've accumulated so many points, because I've been skipping meals due to sleeping or running around eating snacks instead. (I have 4 snack points left)

Long story short, hotel reception was useless and couldn't find a single reservation save breakfast tomorrow. Having then telephoned "Dining Options" from my room, I spent half an hour with a woman sprinkling fairy-dust every time we checked to see if a reservation spot was open. The fairy-dust thing must have worked because I'm now set for the remainder of my trip.

Appart from that exhilarating activity, I saw Scott Pilgrim for the third time. And there's so much crazy shit going on in the background that Its worth another viewing incase I missed anything. This viewing I mainly noticed how awesome Young Neil was for all his background appearances.

Tonight, after my second night at Tony's restaurant (which sucked this time unfortunately) I found a good seat for the Wishes fireworks display with my Make-Up-For-The-Horrible-Meal-At-Tony's Frozen Latte.

Half way through, I started to cry. Don't ask me why; I found it as irrational then as I do now. Maybe it was due to my loneliness being amplified standing amongst a sea of people in the dark watching a fireworks display with the theme of 'dreams come true'. Maybe. But I'm not sure.

Fruit of the Moment: Sewer Water

bequeathed is a fancy way to say gave right?

AH ha! Behold my cleverness. Falling asleep at 6pm, and waking up at 12:30am without the ability to eat anything because things are shut, yo.

Visiting Disney's Hollywood Studios today was a little bit of a wank. I mean really, some of the "rides" were completely unnecessary. Like the Journey into Narnia ride? You stand in a room for 11 minutes watching a recap of Prince Caspian. Thats it. And thats how the rest of the theme park went. Basically.

We got a really obnoxious tour guide for yet another journey through hollywood films. He was a little smarmy, but clear and easy to follow. Halfway through the tour, he was replaced with a woman who had "escaped" a gangster film and she mumbled the entire way. So, it was lame from start to finish.

The positive aspect of the park was the 1950's atmosphere and the food. I went to a diner where the waitress called me "scooter". The food was massive. I couldn't finish any dish, and after the entrée and main, I passed on dessert. Which made me sad because it was cheesecake.

So. Thats it. I have now finished Disney. And there are two more nights. Eeek. And I'm awake when I should be sleeping. Maybe, i'll watch a movie.

Fruit of the Moment: Vanilla Malt