It's reliable. I read it on the internet.

Meeting mum and nan at Mac Square by 10am was what I set my alarm clock for last night. Seems that Coffee Club coffee is still serving the same quality of coffee they were last time I checked.

I spent some time with the family just walking around David Jones, asking if the massive signs that read 30% off all underwear meant 30% off all underwear. I found my official Davenport Australia Day wife beaters in Big W, and we settled down for a short lunch before melting in the extreme heat that wasn't the internal ice factory air-conditioning that was the Square.

Later, I found shelter in mum's kitchen preparing my tomato pasta dinner. Which doesn't seem more important than long time since-we-were-born, next-door-neighbour buddy Brendan proposing to his now fiancee Morgan. But it never-the-less appeared first in the paragraph. Congratulations guys. You need to talk to Vibrant.

Much later in the day, Mount Annan played host to my new year's evening. With an actual swim in Tuneil's pool. None of this i'm-too-self-conscious-about-my-weight crap to stop me.

Much later, after that, Louise misses her mouth when trying to eat a cup cake. The icing bounces off the cake, ricochets off her forehead and lands neatly on the grass below.

Louise's Brendan did not enjoy The Brady Bunch Movie after the 4-minutes-less-than-last-year's fireworks. I was fairly tired.

Fruit of the Moment: Strawberry Springs

Hang on, sorry. I'm just eating some chocolate.

I had a craving. And that craving was for Ratatouille. The pixar movie. And not ONE of my many hard-drives had it stored in the depths of their souls. Which, is a crying shame, as I had a craving.

Luckily, Aneesa solved this craving by getting me out of the house and down to the Wollongong CBD. Here we shopped for animal print clothes, grew concerned at inflatable-pool-chairs-in-pizza-boxes, and took our coffees at Lee and Me.

I also bought Ratatouille from Big W, (which I might add) had told myself I would do back when it first came out. I originally found the outlandish $34 dvd prices back in 2007; outlandish. So I told myself I'd eventually buy it when the price dropped. Then I had that year of not buying anything, then I was unemployed. It's all relative. Shut up.

Later, I told the flies inside Leila's kitchen what-not by hanging evil plastic devices of death everywhere for them to play with. Such joy in the mutilation of those annoying little buggers.

Fruit of the Moment: Onion Rings

by the end of your dreams

After entering a competition designed for women over a modest breakfast, I began facing the music. And the music played "you-better-get-working-on-that-portfolio-for-job-applications"*

After spending hours on the new document, with two less pages and a few additions to the commercial projects, I got me a new bundle of hope to apply with.

In other news, I applied to work at Apple today. Lets see them knock me back there via email in 3 weeks time. I'll keep 'yall posted.

Strangely, the highlight of the day was an episode of QI about cockney slang. I lead an exciting life, says I.

Fruit of the Moment: Beach Weather

*Now available on iTunes

SANTA, IM COMING FOR YOU

Okay, so while i'm being disinterested in the soft porn horror movie The Human Centipede, I thought i'd update you with my day.

Legend of The Guardians was the first movie to watch.

Followed by Knight and Day.

Then came Repo Men.

Next was Robin Hood.

And Rocket Science.

With Exit through the Gift Shop

I'd say Knight and Day was surprisingly the funnest film of the marathon. While Guardians was definitely the most breathtaking. Don't anyone watch Human Centipede, a vial graphic movie with bad acting and no plot and disturbing content. Exit was, i'd say the best film.

Styx and I just hung out all day. He was really happy with his tuna this evening. Lucky I Googled if cats could drink milk, Leila had left so much of it in the fridge that I thought Styx might like a bit before I threw it out. By the way, cats can't drink cow's milk. They are lactose intolerant. Fact.

Also, good thing I heard the bins being taken out, so thats handled as well. This house sitting business is hard stuff.

Fruit of the Moment: Vegetarian Sprinkles

It just burns, it's nice.

A tornado of cleaning, tidying and washing spread a devastating trail of happiness through the house I am sitting for the summer. No real scrubbing was involved. But a lack of food I found. So, I gallantly lead a solo expedition to the local Woolworths for supplies.

The Scooby Gang were assembling for some beach fun. However the weather decided to force us into watching Anchorman and Tomorrow When The War Began when a cold snap shook our bones into crying.

This guy was being a snobbish critical bitch during the latter movie. I've taught him well.

Later, I was confused out of my brain when everyone started switching phones and posting on other people's facebook walls. A big thank you to Pammy who straightened it out for me over a phone call from an apparently unbearable 40th birthday celebration... ladedadeda...

Fruit of the Moment: Boxing Day Car Parks

always rushing to be on schedule

Completely bummed out from the sugar hangover, my morning was a little headachey. Good to see the weather was on my side. From cold winds to sweltering heat to fierce winds- I know someone up there had enjoyed a bit too much egg nog last night.

So I pack up my bag of tricks and head out of town. Eight bags of strings and things and my little blue car was calmly working it's way down to Wollongong. Calmly as in doing a little bit under the speed limit, enraging the other drivers when they couldn't pass.

Styx was elated to see me. And we celebrated that night with Dr Who's Christmas Carol. Bravo Moffat! Bravo! Dreamy Dreamy Matt Smith shall indeed be dreamt about this evening.

Fruit of the Moment: 45-day-old-ice-cream

big girl rings

When a Muslim strokes a Buddha to celebrate a Christian holiday, you know the true spirit of Christmas is alive and well. Even when starving children in Africa are, according to older generations in the family, rich enough to look after themselves.

Mum put on a breakfast of sweets and treats and cheese and crackers and such. And for the first time in our family history, we did not have volovants nor did we open presents inside the living room. It was new, and different, and lacking in tradition somewhat. But we are in tradition transition and soon, everything will be different.

Louise hosted the luncheon after I jotted around to the Kruyer's house for a pre-xmas-luncheon-visit. Louise put on a marvellous day. And made me a marvellous Catan quilt.

Later, I slept and grew merry on egg nog. Mostly the nog part. Soon, everything will be different.

Fruit of the Moment: Shirtless Rob

MADE OF IRON

Christmas Eve is a day for cooking. For preparing foods. For working in the kitchen. For making grub. For composing cuisine. And so on. Also, for visiting the coolest person I know while waiting for the bread to rise.

I cooked pretty much from the time I woke up until around 6:30pm when I dished up. And the day was so involved only because of everything being made from scratch. I chose the theme of humbly simple for the three course meal and I think I nailed it, if not everyone's taste.

The pre dinner cheese board included ash brie, red square and New Zealand blue. And a few glasses of egg nog to liven things up.

The entrée was a tomato-less ratatouille, served with oven baked baby roma tomatoes on the side and a crispy onion & goats cheese garnish. Severed with a loaf of herbed bread, which also was made from scratch.

The main meal was a double mushroom pie with thick butter flake pastry and vegetable stock gravy. Served with a helping of boiled green beans.

Finally after a short movie interlude of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, which had interrupted A Very Specky Christmas, we brought out the dessert.

A Christmas Pudding Ice-Cream Bomb with brandied caramel sauce layers and custard butter cream. Which turned out richer than I had imagined. I thought when everything got mixed together, it looked really runny and I feared it wouldn't set in time. But the 12 hours It waited in the freezer did it well.

Shame that through all the preparation and labour and hard work, the magic of Christmas Eve sort of dispersed when my Nana was picked up. And given that the conversation fell pretty much flat on all rounds, and that Dad complained to no end about there not being any meat, and Louise being sick from lunch, and that I was up and down every three shakes of the hand... it wasn't the evening of positivity that it should have been.

I guess i'm in for a lot of this in 2011. As I have painted the town beige with my lack of enthusiasm recently, I'm sure that bitch Karma will be seeing to that anything positive coming my way will be repaid in kind.

Fruit of the Moment: gingerbread house

A park somewhere; in Minto

This isn't fun anymore. Like this. All this. And by all this I mean my failures. They just keep piling on top of each other, and this duck's back absorbs water like a sponge.

I managed to scrape through the day. There was laundry to keep me pre-occupied along with christmas presents to wrap in pretentious wrapping paper. Also, I once again showed the road to Wollongong how to successfully fall asleep at the wheel while driving without inducing death.

I met up with a friend for dinner at my favourite restaurant Lorenzo's Diner. We apparently scraped in to the last day of their 2010 calendar. Lucky thing too, I haven't graced their doors this year for dinner, so it was a surprise that I was also treated to the meal.

Later, I couldn't keep myself away from the toilet having drunk about 4 flasks of their table water at dinner. I feel I could have sunk a ship with the amount of peeing going on.

Fruit of the Moment: brian's comfort candy

Managing Casual Teachers Who Are Experiencing Difficulties With Their Teaching Performance

This guy was both stupid enough to leave his phone in my car and not be awake when he said he would be. As he neglected to be awake, the only thing preventing my death from a small dog with serious intimacy issues was a seriously thin pane of glass.*

Given my lack of sleep, it was easy to snooze my way through a 2 hour car trip up to the Blue Mountains with my mum, her sister and my mum's sister's mum (who is also my mum's mum) to visit my mum's sister's mum's brother Rob, whose last name isn't Patterson but boasts more attractiveness anyhew.

My mission to track down an old boss' mobile phone number this evening through proxy failed, so we all forgot our troubles with a big bowl of fake roasted meat. Which turned out to be a major mistake, as are most fake meats.

Fruit of the Moment: Malted New Zealand

*Apologies to Ros who had to answer the door in her pyjamas.

These "twitter" things they do on TV

After this guy nearly hit a car on a short trip to acquire rolls, I got up to speed with the Jones. Who are very hard to keep up with intellectually it seems. By which, I mean they're pretty smart.

Today Angus (not Clarence) invited me round for picnic, movies, and pizza, which turned out to be brutal as we made a picnic detour in Park Central, pre Mondos visit. And by brutal, I mean awesome. Ruby and Aneesa both turned up fashionably late, both enjoying our time with The Russian.

After educating everyone in the ways of the 1980's cult flick Clue, I enjoyed an old-persons-nap during Shaun Of The Dead.

Later, we picked up Scott Pilgrim, I Love You Man, and Fight Club at the video store. Father Jones made it clear that the Christmas spirit was alive and well, in the form of pizza. And most everyone it seemed had never tried egg nog. Most preferring to drink Mountain Dew, despite its urinal colouring. We only had time to watch I Love You Man.

I now have Sean's phone as it fell out of his pocket and into my car due to his legs being too skinny. We shall later go fishing. By which I mean, we won't.

Fruit of the Moment: Cookies and bubble-wrap!

You're the only gay thing that doesn't suck

Jolted awake by rose tea infused with vanilla, I jot around preparing a trip down to Wollongong. Shortly after, the wind strong enough to send my Yarris off to Oz, I was headed towards a day of Photoshop tuition.

Glen's new hobby in kite surfing has encouraged him to enter a t-shirt designing competition. So today, we delved into the complicated world of Photoshop Elements. Complicated because the reduced features and limitations complicate the learning process.

Needless to say, he astutely picked up the basics and independently realised his design digitally.

Later, I found that Trade Secret was selling the underwear I designed all the way back in April. The had finally been sold, realised and were proudly on sale at the front of the store. It was amazing. Especially since I had previously thought that they had all been rejected by the buyers. I bought three pairs with a handy GAZAL discount.

Fruit of the Moment: Punishment Pasta

You'd be hard pressed to find a lesbian who likes John Laws

Sometimes, you really only need one good day to restore your faith in the future. Today was such a day.

I was chauffeured around the greater Sydney region today. Down to Wollongong, up to the Blue Mountains, across to Campbelltown. Basically I was backseat mambo.

Special thanks go to Brendan, Morgan, Justin, Tuneil, Noah, Brendan, Louise, this guy, Aneesa, Emma, Leila and Glen who all turned up at Lee & Me for a birthday brunch of awesomeness. Good times, noodle salad and a whole stack of buttermilk hotcakes. Monopolising the entire downstairs foyer, we ate up a storm.

Afterwards at the shopping complex up the road, Sean and I established that the surf shop stocked neither of our sizes in board shorts. Fucking pretentious 30inch waisted men. We celebrated our lack of spending money by eating lemon meringue tart.

Then, as if my day couldn't get any better, Leila and Glen took me upto the Blue Mountains to see Greg and Pam for Christmas. Mostly to give Pam the panorama we've all put together.

As always with Greg and Pam, there was dinner. A sneaking suspicion tells me that they catered exclusively for me. Post amazing cheese board, we indulged in a (Greek?) variant on ratatouille. Which was beyond amazing. Leila didn't much care for it, but the dessert of chocolate mouse really won her over I suspect.

To pass the time on the way home after several rounds of Bananagrams, we declared our love for the Northern Road in turns. Our love was declared in sarcasm.

Fruit of the Moment: Bakara

... should i refrigerate the money then?

It's not often that I see or spend time with my grandmother. So last night I suggested we go out, just the two of us for a breakfast or a coffee or something to eat. We ended up at the Campbelltown Art Gallery. Which turned out to be so good that we also had breakfast dessert, which is just like regular dessert but at breakfast time.

Later, we picked up a speaker system for mum at Dick Smith Electronics and moseyed around Campbelltown Mall before having what Donut King called an "ice coffee" but what I called ice-cream in a cup.

When we got home, we prepared for the party that evening by making sure the food was cut and ready for serving. Then the guests started to arrive. It was one of those parties where everyone had partners. Everyone had their husband or their boyfriend with them.

Parties often make me feel anxious about not having a partner. It's like there's another thing in your life you're not good at on display for all the other people who have managed to get it together and perform in the couples olympics.

Not having much Christmas spirit, I disengaged with most of the event, preferring to spar with this guy over a gingerbread tardis and cryptic sentences that made several obscure pop culture references but made little sense.

Even after everyone had gone home, I managed to clean up most of the garbage, wash up and attend to my blog wile the four remaining party animals loudly drank their remaining cups away.

Fruit of the Moment: Sweet Potato Fries

There's something in his ear

A bathroom scrubbed and a few tables errected, I head into Macarthur Square for some coffee with Tuneil, her sisters and one very awesome five year old supporting a loose tooth. We had coffee. I spilt mine on my shirt. I rule.

Later, I am buying an array of bathroom cleaning products and three muffins for me, mum and Nanny Tess as I anticipated her arrival for the Christmas holidays. However, instead of arriving home to an afternoon tea, I arrive home to an empty cake holder to wash up. Indeed it had been that Maureen, mum and Nanna had eaten the last of my birthday cake. And I am left with three muffins.

So after resolving that next year I could make a birthday cake I would have more than one slice of, I go out to buy 5 chickens, and 2 tins of sliced pineapple with Dad.

I check up on how Pammy Kay and this guy are doing since they no longer are having the world's most awesome Friday night ever. Apparently, they both are doing homework. They are so cool.

Louise having canceled this evening's surprise birthday party yesterday morning as I was not worth spending money on, came over. And we talked about what was wrong and why things are not okay at the moment. Things must have improved, as I felt my appetite return* after a sit down. And we played Bananagrams.

Fruit of the Moment: 150 bags

*No really, I felt so duck feathers** all day

**by that I mean 'down' ***

***joke © Sean O'Gorman 2010

I come from Canadian

For the first time in my whole life, my sister told me that I wasn't part of her real family.

Truly dejected, I escape to both Devil and TRON: Legacy with a side of The Great American Trailer Park Musical. By myself. I also randomly park next to Tuneil's car in Newtown. She is not in the car.

Fruit of the Moment: Garrett Hedlund

this guy fell asleep on me

This morning, I was hard pressed to think of anything except that $1400 piece of machinery I was an "ungrateful little shit" over. So, I started researching the interwebz for solutions on how to return the unreturnable note pad.

It came down to being engraved. Had it not been engraved, the return would have been simpler and smoother. My first caller advised that the only way I can return an engraved iPad, is if I buy another iPad of equal or higher value to replace it.

The second caller advised that I could return the engraved iPad, replacing it with a lesser valued iPad and then returning that one at a later date. This plan turned to when-sales-go-bad faster than a tap-dancing hummingbird eats a lemon. Apparently, the "helpful" Chin had lied about this, just in order for me to buy another iPad. A call to his supervisor helped with the cancelation of the 2nd iPad I had bought under false pretences.

A final call to Catrina apparently made some kind of this-customer-wont-go-away-until-we-refund-him statement. And all was settled. Well, financially that is. I feel this is not an easily forgotten statement of mine, regardless if I refuse to accept money in its place or not. Which is shit, in essence. Because emotionally, it is a richer situation.

We had the end of year Seussical rehearsal tonight. No one ate a single banana muffin I had made. Not one. Someone took three of them home. And I ended up eating two. But apart from that, bupkis.

Fruit of the Moment: Code I-Think-We're-Good-Guys-Now

Transaction Failed - Insufficient funds

Things may be glossy and peachy somewhere else in the world, but not this corner of the kingdom. Not around me turning 27.

I got so many phone calls today. Nanny Tess, Brendan, Dad, Justin, Marion, Tuneil, Noah, Leila and Glen all called me to wish me a happy birthday. Facebook and SMS world were also plentiful.

My day really was no different from yesterday, or the day before.

Did it matter that mum had bought me my first mango of the season yesterday? I wasn't too invested in eating one for breakfast this morning. And I waited 2 hours before eating. Likewise, I didn't feel much like eating come lunchtime. Nor did eating serve me well this evening.

I had debated that it was strange to bake your own birthday cake. Like, anything anyone else did wasn't good enough. However, I managed somehow to be cutting up spongecake and spreading lemon toffee come the afternoon. Milk was a bad choice.

I also made my own dinner. Like, anything anyone else could do wasn't good enough. I'd like to appreciate the fortunate situation that has smiled upon me in the original plan of chicken and salad. Millions of people go days, weeks even without food. But my fortune, class and diet tell me otherwise. It sometimes feels too much to be catered for as a vegetarian.

These uphill battles I set myself are exhausting, expecting to keep finding rewards at the end. Really, I'm just being difficult or moody or angry or self important or pig headed.

For instance, my parents bought me an iPad for my birthday. Thats over one thousand dollars* of investment in a useless device. For an unemployed scum of the earth sponger like myself, I think I hardly deserve such a pointless luxury. There are so many things I need before this pointless gift. Things that I don't want to be handed to me by my parents on my birthday. Things I need to acquire by earning them. Louise is getting it instead as I stupidly opened it in panic.

I'm completely surrounded by darkened clouds in a boarded up room, jobless, homeless and alone. Meanwhile my parents spend a ridiculous amount of money with nothing but good intentions and well meanings on me. Now, the room is filled with guilt and anxiousness. Guilt for the pointlessness with which my parents spent money. Anxiousness for the copious amounts of things they could have spent it on, or I could have spent it on. And here I am, black hearted and unappreciative. Frustration.

I am Ugly. And Selfish. And Not Worth Your Time.

Fruit of the Moment: Those things Brendan made for me

*by my calculations at the online apple store $1,400

This is my funeral t-shirt

And today's Mundane Hard Working Achievement Of The Hour Award goes to Kenney Ogilvie for not only cleaning his parent's 2nd bathroom, but having the foresight to use sugar soap on the glass and mirrors first to remove grime and scum before getting out the Windex.

Later, I watched Easy A as a means to bask in the glory of my trophy. And it's an impressive dive into teen sarcasm and word play with nostalgic throw backs to the high school teen films of the 1980's. Not to mention shirtless Penn Badgley to sweeten the deal.

Tonight, Seussical rehearsals had us moving around to the opening number once more. Although since it got fast and energetic, the singing was (as always at the beginning of such things) a gigantic effort that left me huffing and sweating. One of the 16 year old smokers in the cast was beside himself, coughing and spluttering all night.

Fruit of the Moment: Betty Crocker's Ready Made Frosting Tub

You've had enough Mondos

This morning, the troupes were on the move by the time I emerged from my tent. I had secured the chairs the night before so that no frost became of them. As a result, everyone was without a seat for 30 minutes. But soon enough everyone was busy packing away their gear and in talks of heading away.

Being ushered out of the park, as it were, I take Louise and head to the nearby town of Taralga where we find the Lion's Sunday markets.

A dust cloud or two later, we arrive back in the heat; the actual hotness of Campbelltown. And i'm busy washing the dirt and grime off my poor Beybalu. He was sparkling and new by the time we had arranged a picnic dinner with Tuneil and Noah. Other Scooby Gang members such as Justin, this guy and Aneesa were invited. But Justin was at the end of a long weekend, this guy was doing homework*, and Aneesa was working in lay-by.

We had good times and noodle salad in Park Central. Later, Noah kicked Uncle Brendan in the balls** and refused to listen to me when I was scolding him: demanding an apology on behalf of the incapacitated Uncle Brendan. Tuneil, with a mere flicker of an eyelash, had her son appreciating the situation on a scale larger than himself.

Fruit of the Moment: red-eyed-buldging-flies

*when you are working on homework for the 2nd last day of the school year, you deserve a $20,000 University grant. Just sayin'

** HARD

Will my camera melt?

This morning, as I waited for the sun to creep over the tall trees lining my tent to thaw the bitter cold from the previous night, I read more from Stephen King's Cell.

When I finally emerge thanks to heat, my first encounter was a teenager muttering to himself in gibberish, walking in a circle outside my tent. This freaked the shit outa me. Mostly because 'Cell' was about teenage zombies that mutter to themselves and walk around in circles. It took a few moments to register reality. Thankfully, he wasn't a zombie. He was a mentally retarded kid on holiday with his folks for the weekend. His name was Brendan and he talked to anyone who came within a 20m radius of him. Including myself.

Louise, Brendan and special guest star Chris arrived around midday like I had predicted over a breakfast of blueberry muffins and we promptly struggled with the second larger tent they bought with them.

Such days of worriless relaxation I have not seen in a long time. As we read and talked and Catan-ed and made french toast, I felt like things were once again possible.

Bear Grylls, aka Chris made not only a makeshift fridge in the river, but a roaring fire* to cook our tins of spaghetti. And with a Bananagrams game under our belt, Louise and I were fire dancing to the songs of Glee; much to the amusement (or bemusement) of Brendan, I felt.

Fruit of the Moment: Bedazzled Jumpers

*Brendan, also made the fire

Hang on, I just have to tell the dogs to stay outside

I wake up real early, maybe it's 5am? I don't know. In anycase, i've slept for an unusually long amount of time. First, I'm angry that I didn't pack for camping last night. Then I remember why I went to bed.

Feeling cheated out of this week's gossip girl, and in a better mood to start the day with, I give the go ahead with the episode and enjoy the awesome gossip girl goodness.

Ultimately, I am awaiting mum getting out of bed. Unresolved arguments have become second-hand nature to us now. Which is unfortunate. I feel that since returning from America, my grasp on standing up for myself has slid back into old patterns of letting small things insidiously wrap their way around my patience until it snaps like an exploding balloon in a Michael Bay film. The point is, i'm letting issues I have with my parents, among others, slide when I shouldn't.

As predicted, mum wakes up before I leave but we barely say two sentences to each other. I would have left much earlier had I of done my washing last night, but sleep it seemed, won me over earlier that anticipated.

Not really knowing who was turning up this weekend for sure, I head across country to Wombeyan Caves. To my knowledge, Glen and Leila were arriving this afternoon, while Louise and Brendan were joining us tomorrow. My phone reception ran out at around 3pm, and since no-one is here, I guess for some reason or other Glen and Leila were deterred. My clue to their absence was a single voice message I received from Glen earlier having doubts about joining.

I arrived to a deserted camping grounds. Ghostly really. It took a few hours before anyone started to arrive and even then, they were all headed to the opposite side of the park. So I get my chair, once the tent was erected and start devouring Stephen King's 'Cell'.

When it got cold, I relocated to my sleeping bag. When it got too dark, I wished I had bought a candle.

It is a bitter cold and restless night.

Fruit of the Moment: Veggie Pastie

You're not going to tell anyone about that weird black woman are you?

When you get a call from Casual Direct and they ask if you would LIKE to work at a specific school, you know something is up. Usually, they just ask if you are free to work and then place you. But this morning, I was asked if I would like to work at Sarah Redfern Primary on year 6. Not seeing this as much as a problem, I kept calm and carried on.

It was excellent to therefore, have my confidence tested when executive after executive kept wishing me luck with the day. One even when as far as telling me I wouldn't be able to handle it and promptly rearranged my schedule to take a kindergarten class instead.

Not that I'm complaining. I just scored the world's easiest casual day ever. Kindergarten team teaching with 50% of kids away. Yes please.

After work, I managed to travel around Campbelltown on various errands.

Which wore me out something fierce.

I was looking forward to watching Gossip Girl, but a serious row about what I wanted for my birthday* with mum left me in a foul mood. So I watched The Event instead.

And went promptly to bed at 7:40pm for a nap, or what observers would later call a 10 hour rest session. Apologies for everyone who sent me a txt last night.

Fruit of the Moment: Vanilla Malt

*This is why I didn't want anything for my birthday. My ideas are always too complicated or poor in timing or too expensive. If I want complicated, expensive or difficult and you're not prepared, able or in the financial position to do that, then I don't want a substitute. The gesture is insulting.

work was so shifty!!

I realised as I crashed into the wall this morning that doing nothing all day really takes it toll on you. Of course, it helps cement the metaphor when you literally are hitting a wall with your body.

I am not too sure how this whole holiday season is going to pan out. Mostly because things are really not worth celebrating. Regardless, December plods along.

In taking mum into town for shopping, the day went quicker than usual. Also, having rehearsals for Seussical helped. Heathcote Rd being closed, didn't help however. Especially since I had to drive halfway into the city to turn back.

I once again did practically nothing. But i'm getting to know all the people doing nothing. So it makes time pass in a good way.

Fruit of the Moment: Vanilla Yo Yo

I like a fresh Kenney to lean on

Work keeps me going.

Today, I had work. Pointless, no brainer work. And it put my spirits higher than they have been for a few days now. Which is super awesome. And so is everything. And soon, I will get paid in moneys.

Had coffee with the girls* this afternoon. No matter how many times we go to Coffee Club, I never seem to recall how awful their food is. The coffee this afternoon was surprisingly decent.

Dad and I put up the rope lighting for next weekend's Christmas shindig. And the silver tinsel. It was nice weather to do it in.

I tried to test the waters on going to Lorenzo's for dinner on my birthday next week. Its shit that it just wont work. Dad and/or Louise just wouldn't make it there from the city. Also, they have to work the next day.

Not to worry, it's not like I wanted anything special or anything. I'm not really deserving of accolade anyway at the moment. Not when compared to this chap.

Fruit of the Moment: guessing potato when it's clearly wrong

* I count Justin and Noah to be honorary girls in this instance.

accentuate the ranga

I woke up at what felt like 11am, but was really 7am. And today, like the many weeks before it was a desert wasteland of TV watching, resume submitting and tea making.

I'm a few episodes into a really bland TV series called The Event. It's possibly the most mediocre show on television at the moment. But it makes for making my day more interesting.

Seussical rehearsals were also redundant*. We learnt 'Biggest Blame Fool', a song which my character stands silently embarrassed by everyone laughing at him. So I got to watch everyone learn the 5 part harmony and then, go home.

I managed to however post a whole bundle of thingos... letters. AND returned a library book. AND I managed to avoid a car crash when Jen gave me an early mark to go home.

Fruit of the Moment: frypan cake

*for me

Aboriginal for lightning

I felt so heavy today. Like my brained weighed a lot more than it already did and everything was really dizzy. In the positive, I got to sit down a lot. After a fair few cups of water and a few episodes from season 6 of Weeds, I strode confidently down the beach front for an hour with Glen and Leila.

I'm fearing that people are starting to get sick of me and my latest "I'm so depressed cos I'm broke, unemployed and boyfriend-less" routine. I mean, I listen to myself 24/7 and I'm out of tomatoes to throw. It's a whole other floor of depression that I've descended.

Amongst the rock pools, fish eggs and crabs on the beach front, Glen assured me that I needed not worry about him getting sick of hearing it. Which was good to hear. It's simultaneously awesome and frustrating that the people around me are so supportive. Mostly because they can't really do anything for me besides listen to me whine.

Bottom line, I don't want to start 2011 on the fires of 2010. Id rather be standing on ashes by then.

I drove the 4 hours back home, which was shorter this time around, even after stopping for petrol.

Fruit of the Moment: Buttermilk Pancakes stolen from Angus & Robertson

A Dead Leaper's Underpants

Glen is rocking back and my fork to mouth project FAILED and i'm hungry and my hickups are back. Wait trying food again

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Leila got more and we are waiting for more stuff.

I wanted a redskin awhen Gen wanted one.

But she gave my lickorice and glen's face is hot.

I couldn't look away and then I DID its so important that I did. I'm rice. I'm spelling free WRONG.

FREE

thats so funny Kenney fails at alllllllllll things.

Its so funny and I make noises.

Don't take the book....

hen

I'm CALM now.

So Im swirling the cookie in my mouth 50% straterGy it was so good and my head it warm.

I can feel the texture in my mouth of the cooooookie!

Glen samed/

shaved/

SAVED me from my finger in my ear. Im rewarding ME with a cooookie..

nom nom nom

everyones the same as noone.

No it isn't thats not true.

Gen does not know about religeous neibourhoods.

The meaning of life is 42nd street.

time can move and be still.

Genevieve ruined it but she didn't stop time.

The people inside the cookie as I am eating it... insane insanity

Glen is doing the signal dance.

There was five minutes of straight chip eating and Then five more minutes of gay chip eating

Scientific discovery.

peer reviewed

padietry

and feet-lower feet no tickleish

Fruit of the Moment: We were eating uncooked potatoe chips

Jeffrey Snarkbutter

I don't know were I was going when I woke up, but I knew it was near a beach and it was a house of some kind.

So after watching 2 episodes of The Walking Dead with some interjections from mother talking about the brain and how it works, I thought it was best to get going.

Four hours of driving later, I find Batemans Bay and Genevieve waiting at the door to stroke my shaved head for the first time. Gen, Leila and Glen were to share a weekend away with me at the beach-house.

For pasta supplies, Gen preferred Coles over Woolworths, which was fine before I discovered their lack of sticky date caramel cookies. Gen assured me that the suburb being what it was, I was not to expect too much from even chain stores.

When Leila and Glen arrived later due to an impromptu kite-surf on Glen's behalf, we all enjoyed the pasta. And given the state of everyone 2 hours later, I was sent as the only sober member out for the snacks Gen and I had neglected to acquire earlier.

The dire need of liquorice, coke, lemonade, chocolate, and strawberry sundae life savers was momentarily put on hold when everything was closed down the street. I replaced most of it with dominos pizza, although found a helping hand from the blasé counter bitch when he told me the location of the service station up the road.

Ice-cream and liquorice in hand, I drove the wrong way down main street to pick up the pizza as passers by called me by my apparent new alias: roper stomper.

Everyone was really happy I was back, as I was told they missed me while I was out. This seemed more important somehow than the food I brought back; which everyone ate with pleasure.

Fruit of the Moment: Glum Pie

patoodie?

Bless my soul. I really love that rock and roll.

I got myself a day of teaching at Justin and Tuneil's school. Which was great for my bank account. But golly gosh, was it a trial and a half. The kids, while not difficult at all were just so childish. The day was more than a little frustrating with kids crying over not being able to tie up their own shoe laces. Really. And these are 9 year olds. Not a kid stayed still for 30 seconds the entire day. It was a little too much really. Not that it wasn't a walk in the park as a casual day, just so god dam tedious with their relentless refusal to act as a class unit.

Highlight of the day is when in the staffroom I told Justin I had something to tell him.*

The lights dim film noir style, he lowers his voice, and Jerry Bruckheimer's it up with a cloak and dagger "is it okay to talk about here?" response. There was even an OTT dramatic score on top of a tracked zoom shot and everything! Or maybe that was the movie in my head.

No more on that. Tonight was christmas tree night. Dad and I put up the tree and there it stays. We haven't put a single decoration on any branch. But it's standing tall and straight. Good enough for me to continue with the abundance of television i've acquired.

Fruit of the Moment: watch battery

*which for the purposes of suspense will remain a MacGuffin

go.photograph an emo. Orgy

Today I failed at another attempt of controlled eating. I thought I could hold off on eating excessively and it turns out I can't for now. Every time I try this, I seem to fail in even more miserable ways. In anycase, I feel a job is the best way to set me back on routine again.

This is why I applied for the deputy dean of creative arts today at Wollongong University. Which, while ambitious is not a stretch for someone with my background to eventually end up as. Currently, I am certainly not prepared to undertake such a task alone, so the dual position was an encouraging factor in my application. A Generation Y applicant may yet prove fascinating to the employment officer.

I found a whole bunch of television shows I hadn't caught up on and as a result have a fair few more to spend the remainder of my week on. Unfortunately, this means the internet is now capped, however only for one day before a new cycle starts on Friday.

Louise came over tonight to watch The Silence of the Lambs. She didn't really like it.

Fruit of the Moment: Almond Marzipan