in vietnam waiting to be executed

Today I feel shitty, like the rain and like the bathroom I scrubbed until it was as slippery as an eel in an oil well.

I awoke from a nightmare. A nightmare about hallucinating at the hands of an occupation I couldn't identity. I would think I was awake, but noticing small inconsistencies would awaken me to a confined room sealed in foam. A small tomb with big brother on its back, complete with sickening sexually perverted machines and the very vices I fear in each corner. In a raging panic, I tore my way through the foam and tape and wood and materials, only to find a hotel room where people I knew waited for me. Each time handing me excuses as to why I was now safe. It was a nightmare and it was not the first time I had endured it.

The day was slow, sluggish and filled with eating crap. I made myself sick and I lay down in pain not having full control over my own actions. I want balance and direction. I clearly have neither.

Fruit of the Moment: Gossip