So i'd look good riding a bike naked.

So, when you stay up until 5am talking to people from home, theres no way you're getting up to visit a park.

My parents took me to Disneyland when I was 11 and they lasted for 5 days straight of theme park madness. Now, I'm half their age and can't take more than one day without needing a day break in between each and I don't have two children driving me nuts at every turn. Whats with that? I have a new found respect for their commitment to Disney back in 1995.

So, there really isn't much to report on today.

I wrote a semi application email to direct a show with the Arcadians in 2011. I say semi because I submitted five show choices; concerned that I'm not in the country to discuss it face to face and that the shows I'm interested in, are not the best sell for their patrons.

Their selection meeting is two days before I get back to Australia, so I'm a little worried I wont be able to communicate my ideas properly.

Tonight, I had dinner reservations at BOMA, which turned out to be an African themed Sizzler. With less than half the classyness. And a waitress who did nothing but show me where to collect my plate from and look at me with a smirk as I said I wasn't waiting for anyone to join me.

Fruit of the moment: Watermelon rind salad

Your cookie is for free, but I have to talk to that guy.

So what you have to appreciate about Disneyworld, is that every park is exactly the same. Save of course the content. Everything is beautifully laid out. Gifts shops and eateries everywhere. A few rides, a few presentations, a heck of allot of ingenuity and of course a few well thought out morals here and there.

Epcot (or Experimental Prototype Community Of Tomorrow) is more of the same. Epcot's theme is 'the world'. Everything is split up into countries that circle a great lake in the centre of the park. And at the entrance? A giant white golf ball (see above) with a automated ride through time detailing our progress with technology from the dawn of time to the present day.

I got to be disappointed with the ever hyped up SOARIN' ride. Where you dangle out over a giant semi-sphere cinema screen as it shows you helicopter footage. It was cool, but also a let down after hearing so much about it being the best experience in the park.

Food was okay too. There were options but the taste was bland and ordinary. And my cookie made me cough for like 20 minutes solid in the line of and during the Donald Duck Mexico boat ride.

There were two male candy sightings today. One was wearing a grey shirt and was approx. my age, Disneyworlding it up by himself. One was wearing a purple shirt, although younger and traveling in a pack of three other duche bags.

Additionally, a staff (or cast member) stopped me walking out of a store and started asking about my shirt. He was for some reason, very impressed by it and it took me too long to work out that he was over the counter flirting. Only without the counter in-between. And without me realising it. But then again, thats often my story.

Got to speak with Tuneil this morning! It's fair to say that 90% of our conversation was about Justin. (The other 10% was spent stalking Justin on facebook). I also got to speak with MISS VEE!!! And it was great to finally meet the mysterious Pete she's been hanging out with. I got to hang out on Skype with Sean this morning as well after he got home from school.

Fruit of the Moment: Not waiting for eggs breakfast

I love your rainbow, it's fabulous!

What are you celebrating sir? Have a magical day.

eh,

whatever.

After last night's late night movie extravaganza with cookies, I had to take a sick day from the parks. My 4pm wake up was a perfect sign to head into the Magic Kingdom for some shopping (and a frozen latte, not to be confused with the by far insufferior frozen cappuccino).

It was pretty much the entire day. Shopping and waiting around for an hour in the freezing air conditioning for a seat at Tony's Italian Restaurant (the one from Lady and the Tramp). After an hour of soul crushing air-con, the restaurant surprised me with an astounding selection of Vegetarian. I had to make a CHOICE! Yeah, I know! The green apple sorbet was astounding too; complete with chunks of apple skin.

Later, the bus shuttle taking me home was also transporting two of the most obnoxious American children you could possibly imagine. Their conversation about absolutely nothing contained the phrase "remember that time when..." allot. And they kept getting louder with each new sentence. They were more than screaming after 20 minutes. One of the two actually developed a horse voice half way through. It was that extreme. I shit you not.

Fruit of the Moment: Zucchini Fries

At least it's less than you expected

Greetings or as they say in Disney's Animal Kingdom: [Insert swahili word for greeting that I forgot].

Today was all about being spun out when the animals laying around the park were actually real. As in, not animatronic. Which is super creepy for Disney.

There I am posing for a camera in front of the Tree Of Life; a massive man made tree with animals carved into the trunk marking the centre of Disney's The Animal Kingdom.

Not much to report on this theme park folks. A pretty decent safari ride with a fair few animals in an open reserve, A few shows including Finding Nemo the Musical, Birds of Flight and Celebration of the Lion King. There was a decent roller-coaster traveling through the Himalayas, and a sweet Dinosaur ride. I had completed the park by 1pm. My best time yet, but not many attractions to check off.

Anyway, I had time to hang out at the hotel room before heading out to a vegetarian feast at one of the Animal Kingdom's deluxe resort restaurants; Sanaa. Turned out to be the best meal I've had at Disney so far, even though it was green beans and rice.

After dinner, I headed down to Pleasure Island at Downtown Disney to catch The Sorcerer's Apprentice and PIRANHA 3D as a double feature at the amc. Both were equally guilty of being deliciously terrible (like the peanut butter cookies I ate). PIRANHA had a decisively higher amount of full frontal lesbian nudity however (unlike the PB cookies).

Fruit of the Moment: Snickerdoodle

Where's your grandmother?

Exhausted and alone, no one made me wake up before 12:40pm. Which is what I did.

Today's enchanted day at Disneyworld had me doing the laundry.

I also (after waiting 50 minutes for a every-20-minutes bus service) traveled down to Downtown Disney; a shopping centre by the sea with a cinema and loads of restaurants. Trying to find a vegetarian option amongst them was difficult. I settled on an Irish Pub after finding out I couldn't use my Disney Pay-For-Everything card to see a movie at AMC. So, no Scott Pilgrim today.

I was looking forward to a meal not based around freedom fries and burgers. Imagine my surprise when the stuffed portobello mushroom dish turned out to be a vegetarian burger with fries. Vegetarian burgers and fries are the only thing here for vegetarians. And I'm not exaggerating. Yesterday, I talked to this woman from a Magic Kingdom Italian restaurant and she looked at me with a frustrated look that said "I know".

Long story short, when it came time to tip the waiter, I had no money on me. So, embarrassingly, I slinked out only having paid for the meal on my Disney Pay-For-Everything card.

Fruit of the Moment: Went-up-my-nose-banana-flavoured-ice-drink

One?

Greetings from the Magic Kingdom. Here I am being a goose in the middle of Main Street USA.

My first day of Disneyworld was spent in the Magic Kingdom. Once there, I successfully completed the park in just under 7 hours. By completing I mean went on every ride save for those that would be uncomfortable for a 26 year old man traveling by himself to ride on. The Tea Cups were a must, but public and awkward I felt. Especially being alone.

The Magic Kingdom plays home to attractions like Space Mountain, The Haunted Mansion, The Pirates of the Caribbean, and Splash Mountain. Such a shame that It's A Small Word is currently closed for repairs. Pity.

I realised early on in the day that I was long overdue for some rest. Falling asleep at 11am while watching the country bear's jubilee was a clear sign that I was exhausted. The best rides of the day were of course Space Mountain: a roller-coaster in pitch blackness (x3), Splash Mountain, and animated interactive stand up show Monster's INC. Laugh Floor (x2). The worst rides included: STICH'S GREAT ESCAPE (shudder), Country Bear Jamboree (snore), and The Enchanted Tiki Room UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT (contemporary sigh).

Best Disneyworld feature evah? A handy thing called FASTPASS. Where you get a ticket for a ride that would have a long line. Go away for 1 hour visiting another ride or grabbing lunch and then cut the line at the designated time you were given on the FASTPASS. It means you can be waiting in two long lines at once. Cutting your time in HALF!

More significantly, Disney does not equal vegetarian. In fact, they go the whole hog. Visitor's meat of choice was this huge Flintstone-like leg bone thing. Everyone held the bottom of the leg and tore the hunky flesh from the top. It looked like a giant meat ice-cream cone. URGH! Notably healthy menu choices for vegetarians include: sugar cookies, cheese & pesto focaccia, freedom fries and coffee. And the one place that sells beans as the third option to beef and chicken, closes at 4pm.

My longest conversation today was at 9:30pm when I purchased a photo of my third turn on Space Mountain from a handsome man receptive to over the counter flirting. It lasted I'd say 4 minutes at most. And he was good at conversation.

Other than this, my day was devoid of human contact. I kept getting compartments to myself on rides, eating by myself in cafeterias and I realised this isn't fun alone.

I'm toying with going to Portland.

Fruit of the Moment: Coffee Thick-shake

For passengers who have not traveled with us since 1957

Ian drove me to the station once again this morning. We shared a coffee and a chat. He seemed real sad to see me leave. I'm sad to leave also.

There was a woman on the train this morning who gave me the tip to get off at 125th street instead of Grand Central for LaGuardia Airport taxi services. She then asked if I was quote unquote "big on musical theatre" (for realz) to which I realised she had been chatting me up. Shame.

Airports suck. Bumping into Royce from Buck's Rock at the airport didn't suck. Getting motion sickness on the way down to Florida did. Also there was a small child vomiting for most of the way there. Also, there wasn't a single television on board. Also, the only food on board was a cookie.

Disneyworld was less than amazing on first impression. Sadly. Mostly because it was overcast and rainy. But the check in process was pretty sweet. Apart from having to lug my own luggage. Which suited me fine. I'm totally impressed that I'm living in the giant head of Buzz Lightyear.

Fruit of the Moment: Butter Pecan

I want your boob money

As far as expected emotional days go, today didn't really rank in the top ten. Last year, (and I realise comparing both years has become a little old hat here, but I like old hats) I was an emotional wreck. People were leaving left right and centre and the summer was disappearing without any hope of return. This year, I felt more of a relief as people started to depart.

That said, it is to be noted this past week has been simply awesome. With fun, friends and freedom I had the recipe to make my summer delicious; as it should have been since day one. Today was not an exception to this. Meaning it was great.

I of course slept in, only just making the breakfast cut off. The penultimate staff meeting however played second fiddle to finding out about the previous night's divorce explosion. A marriage broken; mirroring my current spirit for Buck's Rock. Let it be known that in my head I had soccer punched the responsible party in the balls for being dickish. Then the gonads. Then the scrotum. It should also be said that he spent most of the day isolated, staring into space (so a good punch in the patoodie wouldn't have done much anyhew).

Following the staff meeting, I had the gruelling task of evaluating my head of shop for Pub. Finding this task incredibly difficult would be the understatement of the century. Bob really is like a pseudo grandfather figure to me. He's sweet and caring and would do anything to make you happy. He's a wealth of knowledge and etc... But he's starting to really drop the ball in management of Pub. And that his lack of pulling people up on their lack of accountability was partly responsible for my "extended hours" made me sad sadness.

Don't get me wrong. Most of the blame ultimately rests with the camp director hiring a junior to fill a senior position. But the 9-5 attitude this year of staff got me down. Got me real down.

When people realised I was serious about not returning to Buck's Rock in 2011, there was a massive effort to change my mind. Some insisted I return to theatre, others said to kick out Cameron Nadler and replace him in evening activities. (Poor Nadler; such a mental bashing he got this year) But truthfully, it remains important to me that I find my feet, get a life and make peace with Buck's Rock before and if I return.

My favourite New Milford haunt this year The Sugar Hoot will be sorely missed. I visited no less than three times today. Once for cookies, once for milkshakes and once for coffees. All three times were sad and joyful.

Getting a paycheque also seemed like an adequate bookend to the summer. I had definitely earned it. The famous vortex of tears that followed after the final staff meeting had no effect on me whatsoever. That evening however, saying goodbye to my wife Marion for at least 2 years almost had me in tears. Instead we held each other, refusing to let go. I will miss her terribly.

And what better way to spend my last night at camp than to play 6-player Bananagrams post a second viewing of Scott Pilgrim? I could think of no other alternate awesomeness.

Goodbye to all my friends and family at Buck's Rock. I hope you know which category you belong to and why.

With love to you all. Expect in cases where it would be creepy to love you.

Fruit of the Moment: Seltzer Refill

I'm pretty sure you left me at McDonalds...

Arriving at the 9:15am staff meeting by 9:35am was all our car could manage after driving home from New Hampshire. The meeting was completely on the way out as we were on the way in. As camp director Laura handed me my check out forms, all I could do was giggle my way to Pub.

Once again I had me a day of zombie zombiness. Positive to note there were no kids. Negative to note we had to clean up... Pub.

And scan the entire yearbook. Page by page.

And not sleep all day.

And then have a power nap prior to the Staff Party.

Most notably it rained allot today. Also, meal options were shit for meat eaters and okay for vegetarians due to everything being left overs. Hooray for left overs.

The staff party, which turned out to be most certainly bizare, regretful (for others) and uneventful (for me) was 20% okay and 80% lameo.

I won this year's MOST OUTGOING Gong Award at camp. My shock prevented me from saying anything but "It is strange receiving this award since I never went out."

Also, It is always awkward when minors approach you for things like condoms. You have two options here and both are not fun. The most responsible in situations where people are beyond blind with the sauce, is to provide the rubber and encourage them being a responsible member of society. Which is often not on the cards by this point.

Fruit of the Moment: cinnamon garnish?

Is the sunrise happening next?

Festival Day is the day of days here at Buck's Rock. The chance for the directors to show off to the parents with food, shops, music and performances in an attempt to entice parents to spend another $9,000 next year in returning.

It requires a Pub clean up in the morning followed by a single hour of Pub supervision during the day. Last year that included a trip to Three Brothers diner with the layout staff for cheesecake celebrating how fabulous we were. This year, I got to check out what was happening around festival instead. First session campers like Spencer and Brian and Matt came back after they had specifically said they weren't going to make it?!

Also, I got to burn all of Bob's photos to DVD.

During a moment of craziness, I decided that I would induct myself into the pit band for the festival musical Kiss Me, Kate. I found myself a costume and plonked myself down next to the 2nd Piano guy Johnny and Drum Kit man Jake. The entire show I drew doodles on a note pad and made a popping sound with my inex finger and the inside of my cheek at the conclusion of each song.

Additionally, in an even more epic move, I was driven to New Hampshire for a diner called Friendly Toast with a whole bunch of musos. That's like over 4 hours of driving from Connecticut! Leaving at midnight, we didn't arrive back at camp until 9:30am the next day. Thats a whole lotta driving with a whole lotta wackyness. My headache couldn't handle being overly wacky which was a little disappointing, because I probably would have enjoyed it. Sarah gave up her front car seat when it got real bad.

Also, Jon Loeb was priceless. Well done Mushed 2010.

Fruit of the Moment: Pumpkin Pancakes

I don't know who keeps leaving dirty cutlery in the sink, but fuck you all

Had me a greta day outside shop hours :)

Pub remains a Dementor bent on destroying my very being.

Now that it releases me from it's claws every hour or so, I get to enjoy camp as a whole. Johnny Rabe was amazing today and by EAR learnt Moustrap Heart for piano, committing it to memory. Holy shit!? We got jamming in the MuShed this morning and it got me creatively pumpin'!

Later, Kassie shouted me a coffee frap at Bank Street Coffee House. She took me off campus and we talked about this and that. It was great to chilax with a frap. I even got to visit the famous SUGAR HOOT for cookies!

And after no one really knew what the fuck was going on with handing out the yearbooks tonight, we gave them all out and I ran for the hills. I managed to hang out with the pitt band for Kiss Me Kate. Which was great because I got to hang with Jake and Johnny and Amanda and get to tease Simon about drinking tea. Good times. Also while filling out my votes for the STAFF awards (hottest guy/best dressed etc...) someone showed me they had placed a vote in hottest guy for me! Which, was a really nice bookmark to my day.

Tonight, AFTER put to bed AND the staff meeting, I RECORDED Mousetrap Heart with the Studio 59 guys. Thats like half of QUILTY man!? Thats like ALLOT of Quilty. Soon I want to show you. Thanks JULIAN! Thanks Johnny! Thanks people!

It currently 3am and fucking freezing!!

Fruit of the Moment: melted caramel macchiato

This had better not be disgusting.

A curious feeling was today.

I had not slept as I had stayed up last night to watch The Fourth Kind. It kinda sucked btw.

So, long story short, I was in at work way too early with nothing to do but make a logo for chef Pam's new baking school and create some posters for clown. Its extraordinary working with a design brief. When a client wants green on blue stripes, you have a great springboard for what they like visually.

In the end, all was correct with the above design.

Today was the pub icecream party I had no excitement for.

Tonight was spent hanging out in the office with Sarah and Julian.

Fruit of the Moment: Food-off

I appreciate how delicately you handled that, but it wasn't necessary.

Many awesome things happened today:

a) Not working in Pub.

b) Sleeping in until 1:30pm

c) Eating lunch with Emma at Three Brothers Diner.

d) Having my cardigan repaired at the Sewing shop :)

e) Having a milkshake at the sugar hoot

f) Having an 10pm Venti Americano Coffee at Starbucks

g) Watching Scott Pilgrim, wich was an EPIC of EPIC EPICNESS!

h) Playing Bananagrams with Marie, Mallory, Emma and Random woman I don't know

i) Ben and Jerry's Ice-cream

Also, most notable of notes is my discussion with the head of Performing Arts Sam Kusntez. It seems that a wave of unhappy staff have approached our now disgruntled camp director and he is franticly applying bandaids to situations all over camp in order not to loose key personnel. I feel that Sam is now aware of my previous applications for working in theatre and my umbrella philosophies as a director. And that this is a positive thing.

Send my regards to depression, bitch.

Fruit of the Moment: Portobello Mushrooms

Well, all of those reasons are the same.

Collation.

Of the yearbook.

It would seem like an amazing day of euphoria. Finally removing the thorn from the sleeping lion as it is just about to abandon all hope. But here it is. The entire yearbook, collated, jocked and bound in a symphony of organised movement.

Last year, I remember feeling so proud of the accomplishment. All 125 pages laid out in front of me. I had accomplished the impossible with limited means. Compliments were met with astonished welcome and smiles were all around. And when we were done, Bob, Ian Roger and I sat down to talk about simple things in the midday sun.

This year, things were not the same. As I saw before me the stark white gleam from the pages lining the actor's studio; I could not help but feel resentment and distaste for what I had accomplished. The grey storm clouds and mist rolling past the skies above was a perfect companion to the anti climax of my year.

Over worked, and under paid I had taken it upon myself to bring the baby into the world regardless if it killed my spirit or not. And slaughter my soul it did. For now, instead of feeling pride when people compliment me, I only hear the sounds of pity emitting from their compliments, knowing the sacrifices I had made to carry the project until its' fruition.

And then I stupidly broke Cameron Nadler's Ray Bans. So I had to replace them. On the up side, I now own a pair of pirate glasses.

Even when the camp director gave me his kudos for the yearbook, I found no rousing passion for this hideous construction of despair. I realised that I have been working so hard, that I've neglected to put a smidgen of effort into anything. And now, I have finally checked out. mentally, I have escaped this place of unhappiness.

Even the crescendo of Stew Leonards for gelato and coffee couldn't excite me.

This whole day pretty much cemented why I won't be returning next year. That and my talk with some of the staff at dinner who rationalised that my unhappiness this summer was due to an average working day of 12 hours for a slow day and 16 + hours a day in yearbook mode.

Tonight, as my bunch of thespians presented BRUCE AND THE BEANSTALK in a hilarious adults only edition STAFF PLAY, I couldn't help but feel a lament for this feeling of awesome sauceness that pretty much lasted all year in 2009.

It was hard to have people look at me today and say things like

"it is so good to see you happy again"

or

"seeing you happy, makes me so much more happy."

When really, on the inside I am crushed that my home has been taken away from me. And I am alone.

Fruit of the Moment: Seattle Blend

Escape! Break the enchantment!

Ah, what a beautiful, sweet over the top awesome difference EIGHT HOURS of sleep will do to your mood.

a) I had finished all my work last night

b) going into Pub was awesome and

c) there was a gigantic THUNDERSTORM at around 4pm

What I found interesting about today was that unlike last year where I had time to load the vans with piles and piles of shrink-wrapped pages, I was still doing design work. Right up until 6pm. Surprising that I felt so over burdened with programs and credit pages and photo plates and random things.

It got to a point where I really took notice of the proportions of work I was doing in comparison to others. And let me tell you, I would be the first person to complain if you tried to do something that I felt needed my attention rather than yours. But it was surprising none the less.

After our chat yesterday about my unhappiness, the camp director made sure that they served protein for dinner. Unfortunately, this included that really disgusting plastic cubed tofu. I spat out my first bite and burnt the roof of my mouth on the potato beside it.

Laster when he asked if I enjoyed dinner, I said no. This was, later validated when I asked a fellow vegetarian camper who has been equally disgusted with the food this year of her thoughts on tonight's tofu. Her response was an exact replica of my own.

And now, off to the actor's studio for Pub's annual sleepover party with all the campers who worked on the yearbook!

Fruit of the Moment: Charging for the Pizza Party

It's about the African Sierra

Today I got the word out. I started talking. To people.

Today I had my share of hugs and smiles and friends and everything. So, thanks a big bunch of awesomeness people :)

I told the camp director of my woes, and it made a difference in that I got it out of my pot of stewing apples. Not so much that it will actually change anything, but at least it is there.

Today I had a nap at lunch time and I even finished working on the yearbook.

I officially have everything due, done.

And it makes everything better. All the small things that seem to build up have been released like an open valve that has been unattended for quite some time.

I'm even (for the first time in over a week) actually writing this before midnight.

Becaa from photo was kind enough to show me what happened to her when she applied the new content aware fill in Photoshop on the image above when there was a mark in the bottom right hand corner of the Polaroid. Even sock monkeys are dirty, apparently.

Fruit of the Moment: Red Velvet

Angry at the misspelling of vignette

I got a considerably higher amount of sleep last night. A personal best of 5 hours. Let it be known that I also consumed 1.5 litres of coffee today. Woah. Really? Shit.

Okay, so today was once again spent doing everyone else's job. While last night I fantasized about running away from camp, today I faced the sore reality of completing the yearbook, helping everyone else do it. And while I was told that trivial pages had been taken off my list so I had more time to do my more important designs, by the time 8pm came around, no one had done any of the things they had promised. So I spent my saturday night working instead of going out, like everyone else because it can't be done any other time.

Here's the problem with this year at Buck's Rock.

a) I applied for a job in Theatre. I didn't get it and there were two new directors this year. I was okay about not being successful with my theatre application, because generally the job goes to the previous year's director first. I was not okay, therefore when this wasn't the case.

b) Theres just no vegetarian options here at camp. How am I meant to eat protein? Are we to survive on tofu two times a week sparsely tosses around in ten times as many beans? Most nights, it will be pasta or rice. And I have been eating more dessert. Today, I skipped all meals entirely because there was just nothing there besides salad.

c) I had been since January, training for the New Milford 8. An eight mile run held here in July. 5 days before the race I somehow managed to twist my knee and now feel painful jabs when I try running. So I completely "wasted" all that training on nothing.

d) As a result of not being able to run, eating more cakes (just because theres nothing else and I'm depressed) and not sleeping well; I've been gaining weight AND getting moody about it.

e) I can never do my work during shop hours. I am usually torn between two things...

• Assisting a camper with their project/teaching them photoshop / running mini workshops or,
• Preparing artwork for the other two layout staff

It is disheartening when you can't work because your team isn't fully capable of following the printing process, or willing to put in the time to read the manual, or experiment it their own time with designs.

My job is not to be a layout supervisor. That is effectively Emma and Bob's role. However neither have really held anyone (including myself) accountable for anything wrong we have done this summer like taking extra hours off, or not supporting/enforcing shop procedures when they weren't followed.

This has lead to sloppy design work, an inconsistency with spelling, and at times mistakes with printing; be it with the wrong ink or on the wrong paper.

In any case, this results in me spending my day constantly repeating myself about basic design and procedures with my co workers and my nights free to do the work I was supposed to be doing during the day. Which leaves me without free time.

f) Theres not a single gay guy at camp this year. Not that It should matter, but I'm in Hicksville USA!? Without a homosexual in miles thanks to US gun laws... I'm JUST saying It would have been nice to get some "creative motivation" from a frivolous summer fling along with my demanding work hours you know? Whatever. Meant to be.

g) I havent been hanging out with anyone outside my area or played Catan in over 2 weeks. So that sucks too.

h) I haven't achieved a single project outside my shop. I wanted to make a vest this summer and haven't found the time. I wanted to put on NINE THIRTY SIX for the staff play, but schedules are jut far too conflicting and no one has made any effort to keep the rehearsal times we have been agreeing on.

i) Our coffee machine tastes like mould, so I can only buy or import my coffee from other shops. Which today worked because I just went in search of Marion's coffee filter with a jug of boiled water and Ian drove into town for Starbucks. But most days, there is not coffee.

So, thats the list. And it's now 3am. I hate this.

Fruit of the Moment: Apple Cheddar

Do you feel like you can make it?

I haven't been sleeping and this, I feel is the reason for my poor mood and behavior today.

I first of all turned up late to work. More specifically after working until 5am, I came down to the Pub shop at 8:30, only to sleep in the hammock for 2 hours. Which was a mistake and basically destroyed me.

And when, after a day of campers being too loud, and printers being too noisy and a lack of coffee providing me with the headache that could split a banana behind my right eye, the camp director told me I wasn't allowed to play hooky by skipping the staff meeting. ANS AND AND AND AND... I had myself a shut down.

I skipped the meeting. I skipped the channel and ducked out of my life for a few moments. Upon reflection, I wanted to skip town also. And after I was approached by an admin staff member here to ask why I wasn't at the meeting i rudely replied that I wasn't there specifically because I was told I had to be there. And it's not like everyone goes. They don't. Quite frankly, a lot of people NEVER go.

From a summer with absolutely no creative, social or intellectual satisfaction in any way I found the evening to progressively get worse when the people I've been trying to rehearse with for NINE-THIRTY-SIX once again couldn't band together. Well, more specifically Cameron McFee didn't make it to the second rehearsal. Again.

In any case, please accept this as my letter of resignation. I'll pick my paycheck up from the office tomorrow.

Fruit of the Moment: Anarchy, loss and depression

smile at them with a hidden bird in your pocket

With a little under 2 hours of sleep, there was groans as I set about for a morning shower. I cant for the life of me remember if I made my bed, but I made it to breakfast. I think?

In any case, today we had page after page of design work. Forgetting that two programs were due today and having a fun time putting them together at the last minute with spray adhesive and guillotines.

I put my layout campers to work on their final submissions for the yearbook, while I set about setting up for a 23 full colour pages. Thats like 92 separate plates!

I've found little times to rehearse for my two staff plays for next Tuesday, but I recall having set both for tomorrow night. So this will be fun times.

Soon camp will be over. And I wont need to stay up until 5am designing and printing.

Fruit of the Moment: Penicillin Bread

Wow. This set is really cool.

Hokay,

It's that time of year again. Yearbook crunch. Where I take a big bite out of my sleeping time and power through pages and pages of text and photos. Like now being 5am for instance.

This day has been so GOD DAM odd.

First, I gave away my tea. After I let someone smell it, they casually mentioned it had chocolate in it. So, there goes that $70 investment of designer tea, because I wont eat (or in this case; drink) chocolate.

And the day pretty much went BLAH from there on. The annual chinese pub dinner was totally meh. The Director for Kiss Me Kate was less than thrilled for my Bye Bye Birdie homage. No running equals no exercise equals more weight, which became apparent when I had to sort out camper photos from the blog today starting with a few from pre camp and found myself among them. ALSO, Cameron McFee basically insinuated how conceited I have been all summer by placing "program design" far too high up in the billing order on the program. And for everyone playing at home, that would be LAST out of a list of 9 designers. Not that its NEEDED or anything because graphic design "doesn't take allot of work" and "isn't important".

And to cherry the sundae, I spent the day listening to people antagonising over relationships at camp. Who are these people? Everyone is fooling around with everyone it seems and I get to council them all. Guess that's the "advantage" of not be involved:

"I'm with someone who hates camp and she's so sad about it."

"I'm having trouble deciding which guy to sleep with on saturday night."

"I'm spending time with my girlfriend rather than assist with an important camper project at Lunch."

"My date STILL hasn't attempted to jump me after three nights."

"I'm nervous about trying to beat my fiance at Assassins"

"I'm so upset that the half naked photo of me and my wife can't go in the yearbook"

"I'm depressed that some girl who screwed me on the rebound doesn't like me and is now back with her boyfriend"

"I'm trying to balance my girlfriend and wife eating at the same table."

Fuck! I get it! I can't join in!! Fuck off.

Also, the printer has stopped working AGAIN, so plating has halted despite the many full colour pages ready for production.

Also, I quit. Mentally.

Fruit of the Moment: Pistachio Muffin

I don't think this is an appropriate song for clapping.

Exhaustion. And tiredness. And want of quitting. These things are piling up on my plate.

Generally speaking in the layout department I have taken on a delegation role for 2010. So pretty much the same as last year. Only this year, I can visually see clues that people are starting to get peeved when I work over their shoulder. When I interrupt their work and suggest how to improve it. When I basically am being a bitch in charge and knowing for sure that what they're trying to do wont work with out press system.

Today, our head of shop confronted me with an issue that has been floating around the shop all summer. Our press man wants credit for printing on every individual program through the summer. My take on this is that once this happens, we will need to include many more names like copy editor and show liaison etc.. and things could get out of hand. As it stood, only the designer is credited for their work.

I need to take a moment to explain how complicated credits are at Buck's Rock. Since the designer is dealing with multiple theatrical divisions each with a list ten miles long of names, It is very very important to establish

a) required names and

b) category order

doing the above allows the theatre liaison to justify why, say a lighting assistant would go before a sound board operator or a grip.

Adding more people to the list creates an imbalance of order and fairness overall.

In any case, our head of shop confronted me that it should happen, and then refused to make me do it asking what I wanted to do. I figured in the long run its better to take out the designer's credit to avoid any he-gets-more-credit-than-me-issues. Long story short, my name was taken out of the program for this evening's and every future program.

The tribute show to music from movies was phenomenal. I got to introduce Somewhere Over the Rainbow in my best (and apparently accurate) impersonation of Judy Garland. It went something along the lines of a Rufus Wainwright / Judy Garland concert moment.

Fruit of the Moment: Cheese Polenta

And i'll be like... "Yes, Mr Ogilvie Sir."

And up next is our Layout staff meeting when we allocate the rest of the summer's Publications! Getting up at 8:30 and working out it would be better to stay awake then get another hour sleep was a tough call made by a bunk mate.

Armed with Rainbow Pebbles for breakfast I was determined to get things rolling. And so, we worked it out and my workload is less scary than initially thought.

Today, I worked on artistically placing 8 pages of typed words onto one page. Here is a sample of the result:

This is size 6 font, zoomed-in btw.

The highlight of my day besides this, was the trip to Starbucks and the subsequent drinking of iced coffees. Which followed with an unfortunate urge to go to the toilet when I was alone on office duty this evening having no one to relive me. It took allot of general shouting to grab anyone nearby who could mind the office while I addressed my coffee deposit.

Fruit of the Moment: Random Ice-cream Party in 10 Minutes.

Where are the nuclear weapons? Tell me where they are.

Having fully realised that coming back to Buck's Rock wasn't such a crash hot idea after all, It took effort to start my morning today. Especially since yesterday was completely stuffed with New Jersey awesomeness.

Last night, I was woken at around 3:30am by a very large group of staff who had returned home late after the traditional Saturday night out. I must have been worried about something because my brain refused to allow my sleep back. COMPLETELY frustrated that they wouldn't stop laughing and talking over each other, I eventually shouted at the lot of them in an uneven and groggily stupor. Sincerely, I received an apology and they immediately left for bed. This, made me feel worse for the wear as I had broken their fun, so I tossed and turned for an hour worrying about that. Futile nonsense indeed.

Today though, was an excellent run of things. So much work got done for the ever creeping yearbook deadlines. I essentially set out to plate all my colour pages and I just about did it. The only thing preventing me from finishing was not time, but the near death of our BRAND NEW TONER. Quite frustrating. But the silver lining in this raincloud is a trip to both the Office Supply store STAPLES and Starbucks tomorrow. The obvious advantage is the gain of more coffee; for me.

Emma and I stayed up all night to complete the herculean task of setting up Ian for his mighty annual attempt of beating his daily printing run. I wish him all the best, as I won't be here to see him start given the all nighter I pulled.

Fruit of the Moment: Chocolate Tea

A few weeks ago I would have said forget about him

Kenney woke up today expecting to be in his bed at Buck's Rock. He had forgotten that he had been driven to the most magical place second to none: New Jersey.

Amanda woke me up at midday because there was a "crisis" in Pub which needed my attention. This I quickly sorted and went on with my most fabulous American day to date in 2010.

Amanda's Mom welcomed me back and I was so chuffed she had vividly remembered me that I hugged her right there and then (with a little too much gusto for a man scantily clad in boxers and a wife beater).

The day was all about being pampered. Having table service. Being driven around. Relaxing in an Air Conditioned Mall. Shopping for stuff I don't need but want.

Amanda took me to a diner near her house and my meal that came out for under $10 included three giant over sized novelty plates stuffed with fruits and cheeses and toast and potatoes and maple syrup and nuts and cream and anything else you could possibly think of. I could not physically ever stomach all this food. But there was coffee. So much freaking coffee.

Content from an amazing diner breakfast (at like, lunchtime) we continued onto that most sacred of New Jersey icons: The Shopping Mall.

It was fabulous because there continued to be allot of coffee. Real COFFEE. And also, the best part of the day was going into stores and seeing how successfully I could flirt with the employees. Which, turned out to be amazingly easy given my accent. Everyone loved my shirt I was wearing, which turned out to be the I DON'T GIVE A SHIT tee I designed a while back. Anyhew, SO easy to flirt with everyone. In about 80% of stores we visited.

We managed our way back to Amanda's house for some R&R before a trip to TGI FRIDAYS for dinner and the trip back to Buck's Rock. FRIDAYS' menu was 100% meat. SO much meat. I ended up having a chicken dish, minus the chicken. My drink was comprised of blue sugar. I got through about 10% before passing out from an epileptic fit.

We arrived back at Buck's Rock before the 2nd Saturday Night bus had picked up the remaining staff members out for a night of drunken debauchery.

Thank you SO much Amanda for the most amazing day of the Summer.

Fruit of the Moment: Bean Fries

Tell Amanda hi, and that she's a bitch.

Today was supposed to be a day off for me. Luckily, a few weeks prior to this I had arranged to switch days enabling a visit to New Jersey and the amazing Amanda, whom I met last year at camp.

Hour one: mission to find a driver to SECRETLY drive me to Harlem Valley Wingdale station before 6:20pm. SECRETLY because tonight is the compulsory staff meeting that I won't be attending. In my travels, I find a broken Head of Set shop: Cameron McFee yelling at a dazed and bewildered head of Theatre: Sam Kuznets for the lack of communication, skill, funding and support he had received this year. Arguing that everything this year was done for no money and in very little time with incompetent people at the last minute. ONLY to be torn down hours after completion in preparation to repeat the whole process with less money and time. This system is screwed up the ass in the non fun way.

The day went by so fast. I managed to plate my way through enough material to keep Bob happy for a week. Ian had agreed to drive me to the station on the proviso that I brought back Jelly Bellies for him. DONE.

So, the downfall of leaving camp today was that I wouldn't get to say goodbye to the six weekers who leave tomorrow. So I had to make my final goodbyes at the last minute. After racing through the entire camp to wish Spencer good bye, I finnaly met up with him minutes before my departure by a loud speaker announcement at the office, effectively announcing to the camp that I was leaving on a staff meeting night. In any case, I was on my way.

I waited like an hour and a half at Grand Central Station for Amanda to turn up, and got to read the entire manuscript of the play REASONS TO BE PRETTY before she arrived and we traversed down to times square to indulge in TONY'S OF ITALY. And let me tell you, it was fabulous. The meals were amazing, and bigger than any decent sized poodle I know.

The three hour epic drive home to New Jersey at 2am in the morning was pretty darn awesome.

It was SO amazing to finally meet up with someone who had a true impact on my life as a whole from last year. I mean, this woman was the person who told me I could be a bitch and people would still like me. She told me I could be a designer, because I'm good at it. And she told me to stop designing amazing stuff for free because graphic design is not a hobby, it is a skill.

Fruit of the Moment: Family Size

An all-nighter? No. I hate those.

Bob woke me up at 8am this morning when he switched on the Pub lights. I was irregularly perched on the Pub arm chair, having napped for an hour when the storm set in.

Wearing the same clothes two days in a row, I grabbed cereal and got cracking on the colour plates. I was to finnish plating and then, sleep. Only it took me until 11:30 to plate everything. While today wasn't as busy as yesterday, being over tired made working with campers taxing.

I tried to go to sleep at midday.

I woke up at 1pm and corrected myself.

I woke up again at 2pm and thought better to correct myself twice.

I was just having a generally blurred day where I was awake, but not awake. It was especially awesome when the brand new printer toner I opened last night started to streak. And to top it off, this evening Pub was running a mini carnival on the dining room porch called MINUTE TO WIN IT. I was in charge of the trivia in a minute. Get me out of here.

Miraculously, I made it through the day without any coffee. I even had my first rehearsal for BRUCE AND THE BEANSTALK at 11pm, which is the short group play I am "directing" (If you can call it directing, more like organising) for the Staff play.

And then, for the cherry: It seems everyone had forgotten Roberta's Birthday. Roberta, being our CIT who never interacts with anyone unless it is necessary. Even her guidance councilors had neglected to organise a cake. And I hear she had gone to bed crying. So, I stayed up for an extra hour decorating Pub with balloons and such with Emma in an effort to make up for it.

Fruit of the Moment: Kettlecorn

I high five you all this round

When Emma's first words were "what pages do we have ready for tomorrow's colour run?" I prepared myself for a very long day.

Pub was a whirlwind of intensity with yearbook editors scrambling to get their half page editorials completed. Interestingly enough, this prevented me from doing any work on new full colour pages during shop hours.

Rest hour was not for rest, but for a colour-run-lock-down. Actually, Emma and I listened to Couples Retreat in the background while I worked on a few Camper editorials and frustratingly worked my way through several Photoshop crashes while working on the Tribute Show program.

With the end of the day came the last D&D session for 2010. The campaign is finally over. With Roger leaving on Saturday, we managed to miraculously destroy the master Vampire and escape the gaol we were entombed in. Turns out, the magical stones we found on the way to the penitentiary were the key top killing the evil blood sucking vampires. My epic slide to pick up a fallen stone and press it against the master was amazingly cool, despite it only mortally wounding the master.

Vampires slain, it was time to face facts and prepare for a sleepless night of work and toil and general insanity. The night would have moved much faster had it not been for the hideous streaks coming from every toner in the shop. Swapping toner after toner and switching the printers back and forth until I was forced to open our last toner cartridge. It worked beautifully. For now.

It was here that I completed not only the camper photos, but the tribute program and the performing arts photos before hurricane epicness hit the camp and I was forced to turn everything off.

It was at this point that I discovered the front door to have glow in the dark paint splattered across it with the initials B.D. It seriously freaked me out. 7am came and I sat down having done as much as I could without a computer.

Fruit of the Moment: Double Pizza; what does it mean?!

...and I'm finally Jewish.

Last night, again with the lack of sleep it was only fair that today existed thanks to my two whole buckets of coffee. It was a serious mouthful of liquid gold that has kept me running all day long.

From laying out shop pages of the yearbook, designing posters and camper articles, to working with Herbie on our sketches for hosting tonight's Talent Night. It was a non stop mayhem ride of craziness and over tired gogo awesomeness.

I seriously spent 30 minutes finding coffee on campus this morning. The actual coffee was from Photo, percolator from Video, and boiling water from Set Building. I made sure I had me a nice cup of consciousness before staring any heavy lifting.

Herbie and I managed to pull together quite a random collection of comedy sketches. The crowd went wild for Barnaby every time he came out and Herbie was great at being the camper who hated Barnaby so much that every second act was spent apologising for being mean, or for kicking him off stage or for doubting his realness. It was great.

Tonight was also the first time my NINE-THIRTY-SIX cast got together for the staff play. Well, two out of three anyway. We couldn't get a hold of Cameron McFee, and since I found out that he had been missing all evening, I figured he's staying hidden for a night. Hopefully he'll come back.

I look forward to more than 4 hours sleep tonight. My word.

Fruit of the Moment: Pregnant Dessert

The compression is perfect

Good gosh. The amount of sleep as expressed in a percentage of coffee drank in millilitres can not explain the volume of awake that I am currently experiencing.

Having slept for a mere 3 hours last night, I felt the need for a morning coffee to be a vital part of my awake process. Sadly, even after the pleads and cries for help online, I was left stranded on an Island without the delicious black perky liquid I love so much.

It was not until 12pm, when Carson promised to bring back a coffee from town did I find a glimmer of hope. It was at this point I gave up and slept for 2 hours in the pub garden's hammock. Ironically upon awakening, there was no coffee when Carson returned.

I felt saddened by this. As I had office duty until 10:30pm that night. I went in search of actual coffee. With no success. It was only while I was on office duty that Kate from Video had gotten wind that I was in need of such a large serving of black coffee.

She not only went to Starbucks, but rang the office twice to double check that what she was getting was correct. It was a happy moment when she returned with a Venti Expresso. It was therefore a very sad moment when a camper making an announcement spilt the whole cup over the desk, floor and my computer.

Stil without coffee I ventured out for Marion's Birthday shenanigans. They were fun. And I got to flirt with all the straight boys. Kinda a fun night. At Barington's Bar.

Currently I'm sitting in the A frame (the name of sleeping quarters) happily typing away to alternative easy listening music along with sleeping Jake, Marion and Sean.

A few hours ago Jake successfully seduced me with a tour of the A frame bunks. And it was truly magical. The way in which the whole structure had been composed and organised was a breathtakingly romantic ideal of a tree house, nestled amongst woodlands. Ladders and round windows and hidden nooks and crannies were the most amazing thing I've seen this year.

Fruit of the Moment: Stubbornly Refused Fruit Smoothy

blowing my mind tea lady

Well, it had reached that point in the morning where all things are silly and no things are serious and all blog posts do not make sense.

Today, I ran my first workshop of the summer. In the Pub garden, I gathered the troops together and collaborated on a Buck's Rock Board game. Part Catan, part Monopoly and part Cluedo, the game has you visiting different shops to collect things and ultimately become the director of the camp!

It was a great workshop. The kids were creative as all heck.

Lunch went pretty much without incident besides holding up Cameron McFee from his head of shop meeting. They even announced his name on the loud speaker. He ran off cursing his memory.

Dinner I feel was the highlight of my day. When I discovered that they were serving Vegetarian Nuggets; I went a little bonkers.

This evening in Pub, we played HOTELS. A very boring board game that went for 2 hours. I lost. I must warn you never to play this very complicated and boring game. It was boring. And very boring.

After this, was a REAL game of D&D at Radio with Rodger. Rodger, our DM is heading off home in 5 days. So we all want as much D&D time as possible. Tonight, we followed the glowey eye killers down more corridors until we found out they were vampires. Which is pretty epic. But not as epic as the explosion 500 meters from the Radio Shack in the woods from a gas bottle being too close to a red-neck's open fire. Seriously, the explosion shook the cabin. No one died, but the game was over at that point.

Just as well, I had Skyping with Sean to do. I kept him from doing homework and likewise he kept me from plating 9 CYAN plates. During the video call it was incredibly amusing how

a) australian he sounded and how b) ugly his hair was.

Fruit of the Moment: Celestial Dire Badger

I don't know why, he just pulled right in

A day of random happenstance.

I got so much and yet so little done today that It felt like once again a complete waste of my time. I also had around 3 hours sleep last night.

This morning was rather depressing. My sore knee had prevented me from entering the New Milford 8; an 8 mile long annual running race that I had been training for since January. So I wasn't particularly hungry. Things got worse when there was no granola available. I really didn't care at all then, especially since it was outside lunch day (in which the vegetarians get shafted).

However, as I often do when I am sad or depressed or angry - I clean. Pub got a sweep over and all our new paper stock found its way up into the paper drawers above our heads as opposed to living on the floor for the past few weeks (in the boxes they were delivered in), preventing us from moving around the shop. Bob helped me get things ship shape. Emma complained that the paper was in the wrong order.

I once again took my hour off to participate in a clown show sketch with a group of campers. With an awful feeling of obligation, I once again listened to Griffin, the councilor in charge of the group recall stories from his life. I'm super hesitant in continuing just because it prevents me from doing a good job in Pub and its kind of creatively pointless.

Saturday afternoons are radio trivia time. Its a weekly event that I feel is great for shop morale and besides this, it is Ian's favourite event of the week! This year (as if to oppose Ian), Emma has scheduled all yearbook meetings at the same time as the radio quiz which she never does. I'm not too happy about this at all. This balance of keeping everyone from fighting about it is barely manageable each week. However, today Emma had also scheduled Marion in to film the shop for the dance video clip. (Each year, the video shop individually films every shop dancing to the same song and then cuts all the footage together.) So Marion turns up at 2:15 as well.

I took a stand. I actively did not participate in either trivia quiz, nor yearbook meeting. And I was astounded that Marion stuck around after being rudely told to wait 10 minutes when a) she was on time and b) she had another shop to be at in 10 minutes. I joined in the dance video.

My Big toe was freaking people out today. I found this hilarious for some reason (perhaps because I'm five). So I kept talking to people by raising the nail up and down like the mouth of a grotesque puppet... Whatever. I was bored.

This evening after a lame outside dinner in which there was close to a teaspoon of rice left for me, we had Staff Improv. It too was especially disappointing because instead of doing theatre sport acting based games, Sam had us continue the circle games from last week. Last week we had too many people to do acting games, so the night was spent in a circle. But tonight? We had 9 people in total. The fast thinking circle games sucked when we could have been doing real improvisation.

I had an early night as opposed to staff night out dancing.

Fruit of the Moment: Fruit Melody